EHDT Studios

Love of my life...

2012-01-01T19:06:00.000-05:00

For more than a year now I've been teaching myself how to play the guitar.
It's difficult to learn an instrument while going to school and working full time, but I manage to squeeze in a few hours of playing time here and there. I started learning last year on a low-end, shallow body acoustic. It met an interesting fate that was a result of rage and frustration. But we won't talk about that. This summer I restrung an old parlour guitar with nylons. I got it as a gift many years back when I was of the age that quickly dismissed hobbies. I got the idea for nylon strings because I had jammed on a vintage classical guitar this summer and realised how fun and easy they can be to play. The guitar turned out to be pretty great. It is small, lightweight, can take a beating, and easy to play. The only downside is that it sounds like garbage.
As my skill advanced I realised that I needed a better instrument to hear my improvements. So did my parents. So this christmas, I was fortunate enough to pool together some funds and buy a brand new guitar.

Now the problem was choosing the right guitar withing my budget. I'll be honest, I am no guitar legend. It is more of a hobby to be honest. Playing guitar is something I do after a long day to get my mind off life for a while. I don't perform or record, I just jam in my room. I took some advice and decided to get an acoustic electric model so that I could explore my options of hooking the guitar up to garageband and playing it through my PA system. With that said, the going rate for acoustic electrics is rather high. For the same price as my new Fender CD-60CE, I could have had a nice Simon and Patrick acoustic. I know the brand reputation with this Quebec-made guitars to be fairly good. They look and sound awesome too. However, the Fender stood out because it had literally everything I wanted.
The beautiful thing about the Fender CD-60CE is that it has features of a pro-model guitar for a fraction of the price. Little things like an on-board tuner, cutaway, decorative rosette, TWO strap buttons, and inlay fret markers instead of stickers. On the other hand, it does lack a few small things that bring up the value of the guitar. It is manufactured in China, little of which is done by hand. It has a plastic saddle, nut, and bridge pins (which i plan on upgrading to TUSQ) And the overall finish is rather basic. To be honest though, I can't see those being things that will affect my enjoyment of the instrument.
Comparing the Fender to my old parlour guitar, the difference in sound quality is staggering. I can't believe what I've been missing playing on cheap guitars. Yeah, so mine isn't really an "expensive" guitar, per se. But I see things in it that value it way higher than anything else I've ever palyed.
Since it's christmas break, I've obviously had quite some time to jam. I've learned a few new licks, songs, and chords. I can't wait until I get back to Waterloo tomorrow so I can run it through some simulated amps and here how I fare on an "electric" guitar.

Fishman Isys Preamp

I have some plans for taking care of this baby which I have named Ethel. I plan on putting in new bridge pins and a new saddle when I need to do my first re-string. I want to experiment with different materials. It's a cheap and harmless upgrade that could benefit sound. Also, I want to invest time in cleaning and polishing it every so often. I've always been a fan of beat up looking guitars, but this one might be just too nice to ruin. I'll save that for when I get an electric.
Yeah, at some point I wouldn't mind getting an electric guitar. The problem is that I have expensive taste in that category. I really want an American made telecaster. Google it and you'll understand why that's a problem.
I've embedded a slideshow below with a bunch of picture that I took this evening. I was rather limited in terms of camera gear but i think I captured some of the more attractive attributes of the guitar.
I hope to actually maybe possibly record some stuff in the coming months to put it up here. That's a big if, but I know a lot of you would want to hear. :)

Anyways, happy new year. Enjoy the photos!

And here's one more of Moe and I jamming on New Years Eve.

EHDT Tracks Vol. 6

2011-12-15T22:03:00.002-05:00

I know, I know.

I've been off the site for quite a while now.

This happens so often that there isn't much point in explaining myself. I'll just give the gist of it. Working full time while going to school full time and trying to maintain a social life means I don't have much time for things like this.

Luckily, I'm on holiday break, so I am sending to fresh tunes your way.

Just a note. Due to those annoying new YouTube ads, some embedded songs may just play an ad instead of the song. In that case, just go to YouTube you lazy sod.

City and Colour - Weightless

This is one of those songs where I think that sometimes music is written just for me. Dallas Green is a genius with this one. The song escalates to a soulful solo and then ends, giving some symbolic justice to the lyrics. Just listen.

Young The Giant - My Body

Haven't read too far in to these lyrics. I like this song simply because it's full of energy. Awesome anthem-like vocals paired with a powerful bassline.

Childish Gambino - Heartbeat

I was torn between this one, and the track "Bonfire" from Gambino's new album. Had to choose this one since it's so damn unique. I'm on the fence about dubstep. Sometimes I like it, other times I don't. This is alright. I'll leave it at that. Can't beat Gambino's flow though, ya know?

Matthew Good - Non Populous

I saw Matt perform this track back in October. One of the best shows I've ever been to. You really have to warm up to this track, but it helped me get in to his new album Lights of Endangered Species

The Real McKenzies - Will You Ne Come Back Again?
A classic shanty redone by these old Canadian boys.

Searching For Satellites - Chemicals
A buddy of mine got me in to this band from London, ON. Didn't know I like metal eh? Yeah there's a lot you don't know then.

Alexisonfire - Vex
As of recent, I've been listening to Alexisonfire almost every day. I've always loved this band and when I learned that they had broken up, it just made me want to listen to them more.
Their last EP, Dog's Blood was hard as fuck. This track makes me so sad that I won't get to see another Alexisonfire album.

The xx - Intro
This is a really eerie ambient track from The xx. For some reason it reminds me of empty streets at night. This may be because I listened to it a lot this summer when I was just mindlessly skateboarding around Waterloo at 2:00am. Call me weird, I dare you.

USS - Yo Hello Hooray
I sense a bit of Passion Pit influence in this one. A much lighter toned USS song than I am used to. They're still pretty underground. I really hope this one puts them on the map.
Go Canada!

Hope everyone likes these. Just a few songs that have been on repeat these last couple of months.

I hope I can post more soon. Fingers crossed!

Ev

What is CONE-ING?

2011-07-10T01:36:00.000-04:00

Oh the things we get up to when we're in Hamilton.
Just hanging out tonight and decided to try cone-ing, the newest internet sensation.
Enjoy folks

Treeplanting Photos

2011-07-01T19:50:00.000-04:00

Here's a slideshow of my favourite planting photos.
Enjoy!

Another Dale Peterson Post

2011-03-31T14:03:00.002-04:00

This is one of the last papers that I'll have to write for an English course.

Over the past four months I have really become fond of semiotics.

Social semiotics is interesting in the sense that it can be literally applied to anything.

I wrote this paper to basically showcase my semiotic knowledge. On my favourite topic, it explores how meaning is made in Dale Peterson's video but that this meaning can be interpreted in an infinite amount of ways.

I had fun writing this paper mostly because it was on a character that I enjoyed.

It is so rare in English studies to get the freedom that I always associated with writing.

I hope you enjoy this one, I surely did.

And if you need a link to the video. Here you go.

A Meditative Exploration of The Semiotic Operations in Dale Peterson’s Political Campaign

    Political campaign ads (specifically videos) no doubt employ tactics to alter the minds of the public. While these semiotic and rhetorical techniques are often a principal element in the triumph of a politician; they are not magic. A virtue of democracy is that society has the opportunity to gauge and evaluate members of state to form opinions. In a Utopia, the social conventions that determine political change would be based purely on the direct notions and goals that a candidate works with. Essentially, opinions would be arbitrary. Interestingly enough, we do not live in a Utopia and therefore must consider the degree of incongruity that exists within Western cultural structures. These are the conditions that allow for the social-semiotic perspective to bridge the gap between cause and effect.
    Dale Peterson is a Republican Agriculture Commission candidate for the state of Alabama. His political crusade operates in a place where Southern-American, Republican, and often times Confederate folkways dominate the masses. These folkways propagate values that commonly favour the goals of candidates like Dale Peterson. Given that Dale will probably win this election; why is it important to make note of the semiotics in use? America has flagrantly bifurcated political principles and it is the meanings in videos like this that proliferate indifference between Republicans and Democrats. Since Dale Peterson’s ad engages semiotic strategies, it is crucial to scrutinize the conditions at which meaning is generated, altered, and used. To a home-grown Republican oriented Southerner, Dale Peterson generates an ethos of respectability, authority, and experience while to someone else (perhaps a Democrat in Maine,) Peterson would rub off as a rambling gun-toting maniac who is probably a bigot of some sort. The question is, what are the signs that generate these meanings?
    To begin our exploration, it is critical to note the multi-modality of Dale Peterson’s communication. Being that this video contains both images and a narrative, there are multiple levels of interaction for the audience. Furthermore, Peterson’s speech conforms to the idea of a hybrid speech act by both offering information, and offering services. (Halliday, 1985) These two interacts shift between connotative and denotative meanings. For example, Peterson tells it like it is. He was a farmer, a business man, a cop, and a marine during Vietnam (0:08). It is hard to take those offerings of information in any other way; you’d better listen up. However, Peterson also alludes to “Thugs and criminals” (0:21.) Who are the thugs and criminals? This is a situation at which social context can determine the meaning from verbal signs. Secondly, it is hard to miss Dale’s shotgun as he waves it around about three times. Again referring to our Southerner example, this can be interpreted as a sign of security and tradition. On the contrary, our Democrat in Maine could see this as a sign of uncontrollable aggression. Either way, it is the salience of said item that captures the eyes of the audience and creates a spectacle worth analyzing.
    There are a number of salient elements in this video that contribute to its composition. It is often difficult to incorporate elements of composition to anything other than a static image. However, with enough consideration of the nuances in this video, composition becomes evident. For example, notice that throughout the video, Peterson is obviously the salient element but he is framed by an environment which suggests that he is in fact on an Alabama farm. On Peterson’s end, this can be considered a rhetorical technique as it places him within an environment that showcases his legitimacy towards his cause. In other words, if Peterson would have shot this ad in a stuffy office (like a Democrat might) it might suggest that he has never even been to a farm and that he is not a suitable candidate. But again, this interpretation is determined by social context. More salient items that can be judged include Peteron’s outrageous hat and attractive horse. These elements provide a nice transition in to studying the discourse of the Peterson’s video with how they represent reality.
    Dale’s “Marlboro Man” look is a manifestation of the cultural realities that surround his campaign. While not all Alabamians are gun totting cowboys, Peterson draws upon the fact that many associate with this as a constructed reality of their culture. Essentially, by conforming to this reputation of a hard working, alpha male, shoot you in the goddamn face guy, Dale says “Look. This is us. Get used to it.” Rhetorically, this is intimidating from the Democrat standpoint. While there may be gun-owning and hat wearing Democrats in Maine, they would rarely associate with this stereotype; that is if they had any hope in winning. Whereas for Peterson, he knows that it is comforting for his society to be able to connect with their candidate and that he can put the fear of God in to anyone who does not.
    These elements of discourse also bring to light the idea of the myths that surround a video of this genre. To explore these myths, it is first important to define genre. Van Leeuwen says that texts are characterized by their means of expression, use of media, and what they do. (123)Political videos have their own genre; however, they can be divided in to several sub-genres. These genres are usually defined by the balance of persuasive appeals that operate within them. For example, at various points in the video, Peterson conforms to a genre of self-praise. This has a higher appeal to ethos and almost diminishes pathos and logos. Furthermore, Peterson also engages in the attack genre. Dale defames his competition by referring to the common sense “Who on earth would support such a dummy?” (0:46) This takes the appeal away from himself and focuses it on logos. It is important to consider rhetorical appeals and how they define genre because they are an initial source for what the video does in society. Roland Barthes explored how signs like these governed myths. To him, it would be of value to take in to account genre. There are definite myths in society about a political attack. Many feel that this form of advertising oneself is slanderous and poor-form. From that, society might think that the Peterson is insecure and foolish for calling his opponent dumb. Likewise, videos of self-praise can generate the myth that the candidate is inadequate and lacks policy so he/she must boost their image. It is hard to apply this myth to Peterson since his self-praise is so blatant and serious. This discrepancy is a good way of showing that even though these myths exist in society, they may not always be true.
    Dale Peterson became a YouTube celebrity with this video. This success is the result of Peterson seemingly unintentionally employing a degree of humour. Peterson is a sensational figure of his culture. His over-the-top expressions and in-your-face expressions of southern lifestyle (the gun) almost make this ad seem like a parody. Parodies are intriguing because their satire can smear the value of the subject. Obviously, Peterson is dead-serious about his campaign and is probably not trying to be very funny. However, not all political campaign videos reach millions of hits on YouTube. The reality is that many people think this video is hilarious. The beauty of analyzing a YouTube video is that right below it are thousands of actual testimonies. The most “liked” comment (with a grad total of 524 “thumbs-up”) on this video is a person saying “When the gun came out I’ll admit I laughed.” The degree of humour in this situation makes politics a casual ordeal. Again, while Peterson is dead-serious, the funny perspective makes him more approachable. This video familiarizes those who are not actively involved in Alabamian politics with the social and political issues that Dale is so fervently engaged with. Peterson’s video reached an entirely new audience just by being funny; a quality that should not be ignored.
    In regards to this audience; YouTube is also very helpful by providing the age and gender information of the registered users that viewed this video. This takes the hard work out of guessing the intended and actual audience of the video. From the video’s page we learn that of the 2,349,813 views, this video is most popular with males between 35 and 64. Looking at this video, there is no question why that is the result. Peterson appeals to the mature male with voting on his mind. His no-guff attitude, guns, and manly disposition make him seem like oh hell of a guy. So what does this say about society? We can guess that this age demographic of males like to associate themselves with figures like Dale, perhaps even looking up to him. Further reading of the comments reveal some evidence that supports this claim. One male from Mt. Rainer said that “Dale Peterson is my kind of candidate!” while a student from Finland said, “I love you Dale.” This type of exploration in to audience is extremely helpful in learning about semiotics. However, it is also rather disturbing.
    Since men obviously have some strange fascination with Dale it might also be said that women find him appealing too. Studying one gender in an audience will not illustrate the broad picture. Women must be taken in to account since ultimately, they will account for almost half of Peterson’s votes. We can also assume that while this video reached millions of hits, not all of them were male. There was still a massive number of females that watched this video. The female perspective allows us to consider the abstraction that maybe Peterson is employing the notion that sex sells. Though in the end, this is just another myth.
    Analysis of this video could be infinite. As a point of reference, this video can be used to comment on the limitless layers of society and culture. The fascinating conclusion is that no answer is entirely true. Meanings can be interpreted differently depending on context, prejudices, constraints, and opinions. In the end, it is fascinating to imagine how Dale Peterson’s video might function in a Utopia. In a world where there are no dictating discrepancies in society could this video even exist? It is humbling to think that we are able to take advantage of a world plagued by indifference to find meaning and reason. Ultimately, it is our inability to agree with one another that makes semiotics so brilliantly fascinating.

Evan RC MacKinnon 03/31/2011

Works Cited
We are Better than That!!!!! Prod. ICAUCUSREGION6. Perf. Dale Peterson. YouTube.com. Dale     Peterson 2010 Campaign, 16 May 2010. Web. 18 Mar. 2011.
    .

Van Leeuwen, Theo. Introducing Social Semiotics. London: Routledge, 2006. Print.

EHDT Tracks Vol. 5

2011-03-28T11:15:00.001-04:00

Hey there everyone!

It's been an awfully stressful semester. Subsequently, I haven't had much time to compile a list of music to post. However, I assure you; this stress has been suppressed by a cornucopia of awesome new tracks.

This month I sort of mixed genres up a bit.

As I've said in earlier posts, I have phases of genres. To be honest, I don't really know what was going on this month.

I'll open up today with a song from Lupe Fiasco's new album LASERS. I highly suggest that anyone who has any sort of appreciation for hip-hop should go and check this album out. It is BY FAR his best work yet. It breaks a bunch of rules and really establishes itself with a unique presence within popular hip-hop. It seems like these days everyone is trying to produce something that will get played in the club. Lupe didn't take this route and stuck true to his core values; very cool.

Lupe Fiasco - Break The Chain (feat. Eric Turner and Sway)

This is a tricky song. You hear this house melody and thing this song is going to burst in to fist pumping nonsense. Instead, it explodes with lyrical genius. Definitely a contender for #1 most played this month.

&lt;p&gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;p&amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;p&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;p&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;br&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;a&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;/p&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;/p&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;/p&amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&lt;/p&gt;

The Gaslight Anthem - We Came To Dance

So I meant to post this on the last track list but totally forgot. I really started to listen to Gaslight this summer and only a few months ago realized how great of a song this is. Rock out to this one!

Dropkick Murphys - Deeds Not Words

As you may know, I saw the Dropkick Murphys in Detroit last month. Right afterwards they released their awesome new album "Going Out In Style." Here's my favourite song so far. If you have the chance, check out the awesome story behind this album!

Deadmau5 - Raise Your Weapon (Feat. Greta Svabo Bech)

I know what you're thinking, "Really Evan? Dupstep?" Hey, don't hate. I like how this song progresses from house to dubstep. If I time it right, I can usually make this song last my walk to class. The transition in sound makes for a fun time!

Dr. Dre - The Next Episode (Feat. Snoop Dogg, Nate Dogg)

At 2:13 in this track, shit gets real. This is a classic that has enjoyed some recent jubilation on my iPod. I also recently discovered that this album is a great road trip selection having proven itself on trips to Blue Mountain and Kingston.

Chuckie - Sensation White Belgium 2011 Set

You've got to listen to the entire 1.5 hour set to really get a hang of how progressive Chuckie is. If you want to check it out, he released it as a free download.

Beenie Man - I'm Okay

With all those papers and exams, it's nice to kick back and listen to something like this. Mind you, your roommates might get annoyed when you sing it many times within a 72 hour period.

Lynard Skynard - Free Bird

What's not to love about this song? My roommates have spent many hours perfecting this track on Rock Band and as a result, I have subconsciously memorized it through hearing it in the background. Great jam!

There. I know it's only a few tracks; but when you consider how long that Chuckie set is, you'll understand. Anyways, those are the tracks that are going to carry me through exams. Wish me luck!

Re-blogging, worth it?

2011-03-27T19:24:00.000-04:00

It seems like every blog I read (and I read many) just re-posts articles from other sites. So I figure, why can't I do that here?
It happens every day. I come across a great article that I want to share so I post it to facebook or shoot out a few links. Sadly, I never know how it was received or who even read it.
I know by now that I have a pretty solid reader base. There aren't hundreds of you, but enough that I know my audience.
I get that a lot of you come here for the original material, the rants, and the playlists.
My question is, would re-blogging other material that I thought was interesting water down my own stuff?
I could see this going two ways. One, my readers would enjoy the material and come back more often. Two, they would get sick of it.
I've decided to set up a poll to see what you guys think.
Do me a favour and tell me your opinion. I have a lot of great stuff that I want to share, I just want to know if it's worth it.
Fill it out!

One of Daniel's Many Talents

2011-03-25T12:31:00.003-04:00

A photograph is always invisible, it is not it that we see.That's a quote by Roland Barthes, an illustrious Semiotician. It may or may not mean something to you. It speaks about the meaning that we absorb through the signs in a photograph.

Click to see the glorious high-res

To me, there is no set type of photograph; but merely a variance in tenor.
I've noticed that there are a number of "friends" on facebook that think having a nice digital SLR camera means that they are a talented photographer. To me, these massive sets of photos mean very little.
I don't think Dan is one of these people. Hell, Dan doesn't even put his photos on facebook.
When you look at the amount of time, consideration, and appreciation that Dan puts in to his photos, it is clear that he's working with talent.
I wanted to share this photo that we took over the christmas break. It was a team effort that took probably fifteen minutes to set-up, compose, and capture.
Some things that I like about this photo are the vectors leading towards the vanishing point, the framing of the trees and lampposts, and the obvious fact that we had to climb those stairs to get the photo.
Take from it what you want, I just hope you really appreciate Dan's work.
I will try to get a hold of some more in the future. Hopefully this summer will produce some great memories on film!

Cornucopia Of Awesomness

2011-03-21T21:51:00.001-04:00

Moe sent me this nostalgic video today that had me in stitches.

I remember serving the Turkey BLT back in the day when I worked at McDonalds. It was an alright sandwich.

But never did I ever consider it to be of the magnitude that this Cape Bretoner illustrates it.

"One gigantic cornucopia of awesomeness"

It is beautifully poetic. It also helps that he has a ridiculous maritime accent and is talking about what is really just another McDonalds sandwich.

Just a quick disclaimer. As a former McDonalds employee I must admit that the bacon used on that sandwich did not have a bit of "hickory smoke" to it. It was really just regular bacon. Sorry, bro.

Check out the video below and enjoy some of television's glory days!

It is INDUCTION

2011-03-20T23:22:00.004-04:00

There are ducks. And then there are ducks within ducks. Perhaps there are also ducks with ducks inside them.

Some say Inception was a great movie. I thought it was alright. Opinions aside, it defined the "meta" characteristic of the verb to "mindfuck."

I'd like to take a moment to show you something far more "meta" than the movie Inception. I was strolling through a Kingston, ON Dollarama when I came across this peculiar waterfowl ornament. Noticing that it depicted a duck with another duck inside it (or perhaps a duck within a duck,) I was overwhelmed with that sense of "this shit's meta." It wasn't long before I whipped up a clever pun and joke to show off my discovery. As my friends joined me I said, "Hey look, a duck inside a duck! Some might say it's inductive!" And thus Induction was born.

What is Induction? I can't adequately define it; but it's that feeling you get when you see that there is a duck, inside of another duck. How far can Induction go you ask? Well let me ask you this; how many ducks can be within another duck?

I think you can begin to see why this excites me so.

For a moment, let's consider the popular definition of Induction. The one that I am most familiar with goes as such.

in-duct-ion | ɪnˈdʌkʃ(ə)n |
noun
The production of an electric or magnetic state by the proximity (without contact) of an electrified or magnetized body.

Physics is a wonderful thing and I fully appreciate this definition. However, how can it explain why a duck can be inside a duck? Another popular definition goes as follows.

The inference of a general law from particular instances.

This brings us closer to realizing what is happening here. My hypothesis is that somewhere in The People's Republic Of China (that is where it is said to be "made" (that is, if one can even "make" induction)) a genius decided to sculpt this life-changing physical manifestation of thought in order to prove something? Perhaps he strives to prove the infinitude of Anas platyrhynchos or possibly the power of a simple pun. Either way, the being that created this (though I highly doubt they are from this universe) is a deity. I now worship Inductive as an icon of all which I do not understand. I only hope that this divine creator leaves me more clues so I can one day find myself.

On the other hand, it is entirely possible that this thing was carved and then mass produced by some Chinese dude tripping on opium. Though, I'd like to appreciate the initial.

If you appreciate the Induction as much as myself, you can pick one up at your local Dollarama for the low-low price of two dollars. I think it is a great price considering the hours (or perhaps moments) of purely blissful misunderstanding that you will enjoy.

If you are not a fan of Mallards, it is also available in a Wood Duck (Aix sponsa) variation.

I think it would make a great gift or lifetime keepsake that you can pass on to your children and tell to them the story of Induction.

I hope you enjoyed the story of how I came to find Induction.

Best,

Ev

A Classic Example...

2011-03-16T15:58:00.001-04:00

My semiotics class would have a hay-day over this image.
The morning that we discussed things like vectors, distance, background, and all that fun stuff in English 306F, I had already changed my facebook display picture to this.
Convenient eh?
I brought it up just because I thought it was a great image. Let's be real. Here we've got the two dudes from nuclear super nations with their fingers on the missile launch button; and they're just kickin' it.
Mind you, these are the two guys that supposedly "shut down" the epic cold war. While they are allegedly heroes of their respective nations, I shall launch my own conspiracy claiming that I am suspicious... That is all.
I was always dumbfounded by a story my tenth grade history teacher told me about how allied and central forces once stopped fighting for a few minutes to celebrate christmas with each other. I also find this highly unlikely but enjoy the amusement of its absurdity.
In the end, if you forget about the context of this image, it still epitomizes badassery. Just look at those suits!

And The Winner is...

2011-02-26T13:22:00.001-05:00

...
GEOGRAPHY!
Specifically, Honours Bachelor Of Arts - Geography and Environmental Management - Minor of English Language and Literature.

I spent several days mulling over the choices for my new major. I consulted many friends and Waterloo staff for advice. I just want to thank everybody for the good advice and honesty.

I've decided to choose geography based on a few reasons. First of all, Geography as an area of study has the end feeling of accomplishment that things like English and Psychology lack. For example, I can spend days writing an essay for an English class on things that I don't truly believe in. When it is all said and done, I have done anything for myself -- rather, my professor. I feel that psychology will present the same frustrations. Reading the geography course descriptions shows me that there are physical manifestations of your hard work, you gain knowledge, and apply it through labs. This is the practical hands on approach that I want from university.
The marking system found in geography is relatively different from that in English. In geography, most courses feature labs, assignments, midterms, and exams whereas in English, you are marked on one huge paper, one midterm, and on exam. Having more opportunities to boost marks is a feature I wish I had in English. In English, if you're not right on your essay, you are pretty much screwed for your GPA.
Probably the biggest pull that geography has over any other field is its mixture of science and the arts. I have to admit, I am a pretty empirical guy and I love science. I also love theory and logic; thus the reason I went in to english. Geography is a mix of the two. In one class I can study soil degradation, while in another one I can theorize and discuss the agriculture in Chile. I am hoping that I will be able to use the skills I learned from english and apply them to the artistic standpoint of geography while using my scientific drives and curiosities to motivate me through science.

In regards to my academic path, I had some confusions over which one to take.
I had the following choices;
BA 3yr General Geography and Environmental Management
BA 4yr Honours General Geography and Environmental Management
BES 4yr Geography and Environmental Management

Each degree has its respective pros and cons. For instance, if I take the BES path; I must take things like stats, and biology. Bad idea for my grades. However, it has great credibility. With the 3 year program I can graduate "on time" but it means that I don't get an honours degree and I can't minor in English. However, with the 3 year plan I don't have to keep a very high average. That would make balancing work and school much easier.
The plan is to apply for the Honours 4 year with the minor in English. This way, if my grades sink, I fall in to the 3 year plan and get the hell out.

So that's the plan guys. I am very excited for next fall when I can start taking geography courses.
I am also pretty happy to be putting english behind me.
In the coming days I will be thoroughly explaining my position on english (in english!)

Till then!

Inevitable Feeling of Uncertainty

2011-02-13T15:13:00.001-05:00

I never really thought I would reach this point in my university career. Going in I was so confident with my choice of being an English major that I never really considered the alternatives.
To be dead honest, English was my fallback plan and I think that I was so upset to not be taking Geography and Aviation that I just went with it.
I still love English to death and am really enjoying the studies that I am doing. However, I feel like I have reached a stasis in my program where I have learned all there is to know about English, and now it is just being complicated.
I never explored English enough to understand how trivial it gets at the higher levels. While I certainly enjoy learning about semiotic processes and conventions; it is frustrating when they are taught in every single class. Last Wednesday I went to all four of my usual classes and noticed that they all followed the lines of the reading that I did for Criticism that morning which basically summed up my entire semiotics course. This theory (mostly Saussure) was taught in every class that day with the exception of American Lit. where we learned what a thesis is. Fifth grade shit.
By now I hope you can understand my frustrations with English (at least at UW.) I could go on forever about the loopholes in the courses and content but I'd just be working myself up.
Last night I got some advice from a rather experienced student who has completed his undergrad. He said that I shouldn't go through with a major that I am uncertain of. It would be a waste of time, money, and talent.
Some of the best advice I have had in a while.
So since then I have been seriously contemplating switching my academic plan. I still want to at least minor in English since I have already come this far I would hate to write it off as a waste.
Basically, I want to change my major and possible open up the possibility of co-op studies.
Here are my two considerations;

Psychology
Since taking Psych 101 in 1A I was seriously impressed by the discipline. I constantly find myself wondering about the functions of the brain and what causes people to do certain things. I learned a lot from psych 101 that has not only given me some great knowledge, but a little bit of wisdom. I am not as passionate about psych as I was English but my passion to learn new things is certainly being stimulated by the idea of becoming a psych student. Like I said earlier, I am not really learning anything new in English. Whereas in psychology, I feel that there are a million things that I haven't learned yet.
Career wise, I was never that interested in working in the "english" field (if there even is one.) With Psychology, I feel that there would be a number of jobs that would be immensely more interesting than technical writing or teaching. I am particularly interested in the idea of research jobs where my hard work would actually go towards achieving something.
In taking psychology I would probably have to take either an extra year, or summer courses so that I can get caught up on the requirements.
There is also the possibility of a co-op placement in the summer which would help me pay for school and get me in to the working world. It seems like a pretty good deal.

Geography
Geography has always been sort of a closet fascination of mine. Last year I took an introduction course to Geography and thoroughly enjoyed it. For me, it is both easy and entertaining. I like to learn about the thing that I am living on and I think that it would be a good basis to find a job in the aviation field. I have heard about jobs with the government and other contractors that do geographic surveys with planes and whatnot all over the country. That would be a dream job!
A geography major is offered through the faculty of Arts and one again has potential for co-op. I think this degree would be more worth my money than an English one and would certainly be more fun.

These are my two solid options. If neither work out I am looking at the possibility of co-op for English studies so that I can begin to work in my "field" and make some good money.
I am in contact with advisors and whatnot to give me some advice and steps to executing the change.
I also just want to take a moment to thank all my peers for the excellent advice and assistance that they have been giving me with my decision. It shows me that there are a lot of really knowledgeable people out there that aren't afraid to share what they know if you just ask.
I would also like to apologize to the department of English, my high school English teachers, Shakespeare, Hemingway, Chaucer, Joyce, Donne, Herbert, Milton, Chekhov, Stein, Hughes, Updike, Swift, Austen, and the other greats. I am sorry if you feel that I have let you down. You still lie deep in my heart and I will continue to cherish and respect you all.

Wish me luck!

Hell Wednesday

2011-02-09T01:27:00.002-05:00

Here's a rather concise explanation as to why I am not posting as of late.
As you all know, my wednesdays are insane. Tomorrow is no exception and will probably set the bar for all wednesdays to come.

Tomorrow goes as follows.
At the current rate it will likely be anywhere between -25C to -18C with the windchill.

8:40am-Wake

8:50- Leave house in a bundle of warm clothes to walk to class.

9:30- Arrive at class and sit through 50 minutes of mind boggling literary theory. Contemplate existence.

10:20- Find a seat in the library and begin last minute cramming for linguistics midterm.

11:30-Begin linguistics midterm. Assume the position.

12:50pm-option a) head to library to begin studying for the midterms on the following two days. option b) nourish myself with food and then study for a smaller amount of time.

2:00-Attend American Lit. for a lecture on a book that I have yet to read.

3:20-Leave American Lit. and rush to Tech. Comm.

3:30-Attend Tech. Comm. and sit through hours of basic theory that I already learned in fifth grade.

4:50-Leave Tech. Comm. and rush to work for a 5:00pm shift.

5:00-Work an eight hour shift on one of the busiest nights possible.

2:00am-option a)study for tomorrow's midterm. option b)sleep

This post exists more as a personal reminder and schedule for me.

Chances are that I won't be able to eat until I reach work.

All of this in very cold temperatures with an attitude and moral that has degraded to the point where I care not about my physical appearance and disregard most things (eg. people) for they will only slow me down.

Logical me says that I should be asleep now.

That's a good idea, I think I'll do that.

There's a new C63 in town...

2011-01-28T00:15:00.001-05:00

Click here for full size

Avid readers will be familiar with my infatuation with Mercedes' V8 sedan. Today I learned about the new 2012 model that is going to be coming out.
While many will find this post pointless and stupid; I find it to be a perfectly good way to burn a few minutes before bed.

Let's be honest here. How could I possibly transport my skis in a four door sedan? Mercedes saw to this dilemma with their idea for an estate version of my favourite car. While there was one last year, it is only now that I am realizing its awesomeness. Complete with a huge ass, roof racks, and the same V8 BiTurbo powerhaus; this bad boy is the definitive sleeper. Only this afternoon (in Semiotics) did I daydream about slapping around challengers and rice rockets with skis on the rack and suitcases in the boot.
Mind you, if I owned one I would murder it out with matte black paint, black rims, tinted lights, and some exhaust upgrades. So in a sense, it will be less of a sleeper.
Speaking of sleeping.
I need to be sleeping.
I don't even know why I posted this.
Goodnight, all.

Case Of The Wednesdays

2011-01-26T10:43:00.000-05:00


This reminds me of the stamps my crazy 5th grade teacher had.

If Wednesday is the hump day; mine is Mount Everest day.
Being an arts student I am used to a rather thin schedule. Moe has a 12 hour Friday (or something crazy like that) so I have no true reason to complain. While I only have five hours of class on Wednesdays, (no real difference from high school) each class is punctuated by pure insanity.
Beginning at 9:00am I literally roll out of bed and out to school. No shower, food, barely dressed properly. If GRT doesn't completely screw me I may make it to class on time. If I am lucky I will get time to buy a coffee.
After an hour of being mindfucked by literary theory I get an hour to study. This is one of only a few hours I get each week to study. So I study, hard.
Next I head over to linguistics where I am again abused and tormented. This time it is not by the theory but by the embarrassment that comes with demonstrating it in front of an eager class. Oh, and the prof. is a grade A PSYCHO BITCH. I am constantly questioning why I am being taught phonetics by a woman with a thick accent of some unknown origin.
After Linguistics I get a dandy one hour break again to binge on reading and perhaps feed myself. This all depends on the amount of money in my pockets and whether I truly feel the symptoms of malnourishment. Let's put it this way; I would be very good at following a diet. It's all in your head.
"Do I REALLY need sustenance? Naw, I can make it."
Low on fuel I endure a long American Lit class where I am able to catch up with my digital life. By that I mean standing emails, texts, forum messages. American lit isn't a terrible place to be. The class is one of those ones that you can find the equilibrium between reading and learning about a text. If you pay complete attention to a class, then you won't have to read the material. Where if you read all the material, you don't need to listen to the class. I do a bit of both. Read half the material, listen to half of the class. Works just fine.
After American Lit. I literally run to Tech Comm. This class provides me with a much needed break before work. Really, it is the easiest class I have ever been in. I think it is geared towards engineers and mathies that don't have great writing skills. For me, it is all common sense. Surprisingly, it is one of the only classes I have that has a tolerable professor. And he doesn't even have a PhD.
If I am lucky I will get ten minutes in between class and work. Today is a different story, I actually have -20 minutes. Yeah that's right, class and work overlap. This is going to get interesting.
Once at work I can wind down from the day and refuel on coffee. I usually work around 5-7 hours and walk home.
The walk home provides some excellent time for me to think about things other than work, school, work school. Good fun.

I think that Wednesdays are good for me. They keep me motivated and so far I have managed to push through them rather well. Once Wednesday is done, how could the rest of the week be any harder? It truly is the hump day.

Wish me luck today. I conclude this post on my first break. The one where I should be studying.

This is a cool music video...

2011-01-24T14:41:00.002-05:00

Don't do laundry late at night. Want to know why? Because you'll end up forgetting about it, going to bed, realizing it is still there in the washer, and then you have to blog to stay awake so you an retrieve it.
This is what is happening right now. However, this post will show up later tomorrow (which is already in the past for you).

Anyways, this isn't the real George Bush but it certainly provides an entertaining spectacle. I keep wishing that it was the real W. I have a feeling he could get up to this sort of foolery.
The song isn't bad either. In fact, I have listened to it a few times this evening. Though I may have been procrastinating, that is usually rare for a song that I have just discovered.
Many props and special handshakes to The Time Zone Advantage for this link. It is EHDT Studios approved.
P.S. for some fun, check out that blog. It's a fledgling with big wings. Metaphor of the day.
Here's the video

EHDTSTUDIOS: Kindle Ready

2011-01-23T18:46:00.001-05:00

That's an image of www.ehdtstudios.com being displayed on an Amazon Kindle.
After waiting for months I finally have the new Kindle 3 eReader.
The reason I bought this piece of technology is to make buying course material for university more affordable.
The Kindle was $139 (US) but by the time I had it shipped and converted it was probably somewhat more expensive.
However, this thing has already paid for itself. Through some searching I have managed to acquire every single text for my American Literature course online, for free. That is about $180 worth of books that I now own thanks to a few educational, open source, and slightly dubious sources.
I have also acquired a very large selection of classic reads from authors like Twain, Joyce, Dawkins, Updike, Austen, Hemingway, Nabokov, Dickens, and an assortment of authors that I may not have been able to find through the conventional means.
It is strange to think that I now have a rather reputable library that doesn't really exist. It is also rather depressing that literature is being digitized. any of my peers found it strange that I (of all people) would begin using an eReader since it goes against many of the things I stand for as a scholar of English. I look at it this way; English has residual, current, and emergent cultures that have shaped its existence over time. At this moment we see the spoken word and oral culture to be the residual, and written text to be the current culture. The emergent culture of literature is the digitization and distribution methods being made possible by computers and networks of scholars from around the world.
In buying and using an eReader I am participating in the evolution of literary culture. Changing the mechanism by which your brain receives the message of literature does not distort it at all. Many traditionalists see the eReader as an impure abomination to literature. Yet, so was print culture when it weened society of oral transmission of story.
Long story short (pun intended) I like the Kindle because it has increased my productivity within only a few days of owning it. It allows me to read more often and read literature that before, would have been out of my reach.
Enough with the philosophical gibberish; let's talk about the technicalities.

I introduce you to this small slideshow of photos so you can familiarize yourself with what I speak of.

The most frustrating thing about the Kindle is that it has taken forever to reach Canada from the distribution centre in Nevada, USA. If my Amerifriend were to order this exact same item to his residency in Maryland it would take 1-3 days. This location is a farther distance than Hamilton or Waterloo yet my shipment (because it was Canadian) took many, many weeks. In fact, it never left actually shipped until a few days prior to my receiving it. For some bizarre reason, Amazon holds the Canadian shipments for an necessarily long time. However I was expecting that since they said it on the website. I could have chosen a Kobo reader or a Sony reader however they lacked the features that I am so very fond of on the Kindle. I will talk about them now.

The Kindle displays many formats of text and does so very well. You can see in the photos above that it has an incredibly crisp display regardless of the format. The question I've gotten a few times is, "Is that a sticker?" in regards to the image on the display. It looks so sharp and natural that it pushes the barriers of senses. It truly does look like a printed page. The only disadvantage to this remarkable display is that it can't be read in the dark. However, that can be a good thing since reading a backlit display before bed can do terrible, terrible things to your circadian rhythm.
Among the Kindle's ability to reader comes a few other great features. One, the Kindle can browse the web from a wireless connection. Seeing websites in eInk format is equally fascinating as books. Two, it has the ability to shop for books right there on the device. Three, it can make notes, highlights, and look things up in the built in dictionary. Four, it can play mp3s. Five, it connects to Facebook and Twitter.
These are some things that three years ago would have been impressive on cellphone. And now they are simple features on a mundane thing like an electronic book. The Kindle really goes above and beyond its duty.
I can really appreciate the 1 month long battery life and the ability to use practically any USB charging port.
Lastly, I can't get over the size and shape of the device. It is perfect to carry anywhere and although it is difficult to hold in a manner that prevents you from mashing buttons by accident, it is comfortable and has a surprisingly nice build quality.
To sum everything up I want to recommend this device to my fellow university students and professionals that want to organize and accelerate their life of text. I can't find anything wrong with this device for the price that I paid and I am certainly now a proud member of the electronic literature community.
For those who are still skeptics of the idea; don't knock it 'till you've tried it.

One More Month

2011-01-23T17:46:00.001-05:00

I finally have my ticket to the Dropkick Murphys concert this February in Detroit.
It's going to be a hell of a reading week this year.

If you're not aware of who the Dropkick Murphys are I suggest you check out this video....

I have been wanting to see this band live since I was just a little guy.
I can't say much more about it. I am just so excited.
I hope to grab some sort of memories from the trip that I can share here. Stay tuned!

Delusional Memoirs of a Hipster

2011-01-20T12:23:00.001-05:00

Well well. Looks like I have found a moment out of my busy schedule to post something. Since I haven't posted in a while I thought that I would throw this one up to keep readers from getting bored.

I wrote this a while ago through facebook statuses. It represents how someone of the hipster renaissance might pick a fight or initiate an argument.

It was written spontaneously and purely represents my frustrations with hipsters. No other significance should be taken from this. Enjoy.

I've decided not to believe in santa. It's a personal choice. Maybe you too could help yourself from such mainstream infatuations this holiday season.

Such delusional diversions might be grounds for fisticuffs to prove some sort of status of intellectual superiority. For my fantastical philosophies -- albethey mundane -- are the truth; and if we hesitate to come to an accord on this you are subject to both my unnecessary youthful rage and nonsensical prejudice. Though I say we as in you and I, (in the context of an agreement) I mean you, only your ability to conform to my anal perspectives.

Or perhaps my arrogance will prove to be of some mockery to the masses. In said case, any publicity is good publicity and though I may not illustrate it in my orations or manuscripts, I have a sincere affection with the attention that you hath given me.

In the assumption that you have read to this point, I endow you with my praise that you have taken the time to make a spectacle of my doctrines. With that said, I shall engage in further discourse to plead for my logic in dress.

Pants hemmed... at from the waist to the ankle in a taper that of More's Utopia are not brandished for elegance or panache but simply for the pursuit of contentment by comfort.

Garments of plaid, suede, or lace donned on the chest are a representation of a laissez-faire lifestyle that is allegorical to my method of reasoning in worldly affairs.

In regards to my earlier statement of fisticuffs: I retract that projections and instead substitute the idea that my physical exertion is worth neither my or your time for I will surely win based on experience of dueling others who disagreed with me.

I propose instead that we both write memoirs recounting our experiences with a. Santa and b. Immanuel Kant's empirical compromise (why, or why not it is an attempt at mainstream inculcation.) and how the two influence your wit to contest my brainpower.

Also, I nurse the wound of insolence that has caused me to become weak in the hands and lack the ability to engage in clenching a fist of anger and power.

I shall instead use the velvet hammer of debate yo once again prove my traits seen advantageous by natural selection. (a theorem I enjoy to my earthly extents)

More posts to come. See you soon!

Putin, Keepin' The Haters Out

2011-01-13T16:19:00.001-05:00

My job and studies have kept me from posting regularly. Just know this, dear readers. I think of you every day.
I literally (in the literal sense) only have 14 minutes before I have to leave for work so I am using this time to change, cook dinner, blog, and send emails.
Enjoy this addition to the list.
Even though their nation is full of HIDEOUS hockey players, they still ahve a pretty righteous leader.
Oh, enjoy the one with the 3D glasses too. Up with the ranks of old liz, I see.

Don't Buy This Book

2010-12-20T16:37:00.001-05:00

Attention! Students taking English 200A or other courses that require old British Literature. Don't be fooled by your professor in to buying a $70 compilation of writing that is out of copyright!
All of the texts that I studied from this book are available online for free!

I was VERY angry to learn that I was tricked in to buy this anthology as a "required" course material. As a student I struggle to afford text books. Honestly, they run behind rent, groceries, and tuition for that matter in my priority of expenses. I don't know why my professor would get up in front of the class and lie about choosing one text because it was "affordable". I'm sorry, but do you know how many potatoes you can buy with 70 dollars?
While studying I found that I could get all the stories and poems in this book for free. I will list them here.

Jane Austen - Pride and Prejudice - This is just the first source I found. P&P is probably the most duplicated text on the internet. It can be found for eReaders, in .pdfs, plain texts, html, anything! This wasn't in the anthology, it was to be purchased alone.
Complete works of John Donne - Not much to say here other than I feel robbed to buy an expensive book only to read a couple short love poems.
Complete works of George Herbert - again, same thing.
Sir Thomas More - Utopia - Great book. I'll admit that the anthology was in a more modern english but translations can be very easily found on the internet. Another VERY popular title.
Geoffrey Chaucer - Canterbury Tales - A great website devoted to the tales and the prologue. Complete with translations and illustrations!
Aphra Behn - Oroonoko - The complete story on one page.
William Shakespeare - King Lear - Even an educational source. How can you tell me that a book is better than this?

So that is everything I read for English 200A. I can't believe the prof would suggest we needed to buy the book of which she was a contributing editor. I feel that her choices were based of expediency rather than value to the students. For that I feel robbed. For 200B I will be doing my research and downloading my texts for FREE.
I am a starving student. I can't deal with this shit.

Final Opinion: Eats, Shoots, & Leaves

2010-12-15T22:16:00.003-05:00

IT'S RUBBISH.

Real Wishlist: Cars

2010-12-13T17:20:00.001-05:00

Here is a completely unfeasible wishlist for those wondering what I really want for christmas.
Today I will be doing cars. In no particular order I will show you the cars that I wish I could own. Or that you could get me for Christmas ^_^

1. MazdaSpeed 3

Sure, it is a plastic import car. However, this thing pushes 246 HP right out of the box with a turbo charged relative of the engine that I so much enjoyed over the summer in "my" '02 Protege.
I love this car. Very fast, inconspicuous, six speed manual, sexy.

2. Mazda Protege

I can't exclude the love of my life. The 2002 Mazda Protege is a nice car. Haters gonna hate, but this car will pull you in once you get to know it. It handles like a go-kart and accelerates like one too. Looks...ok. Seats five and has room for luggage? This car is awesome; I don't care what you say.

3. Audi Quattro (Rally)

This car is legen.....wait for it......dary. One of the most badass rally cars of its time. Sounds like a banshee, climbs like a mountain goat on cocaine, and looks...weird.

I honestly can't see this as being a good road car but would love to own one for hucking around some dirt roads up north.

Oh, it is hellishly fast too.

4. Ford Mustang GT

I see one of these every day on my way to class and stare at it every time. One of the best looking mustangs yet in my humble opinion. It has the legendary 5.0L V8 engine and an awesome 6-speed manual. Can't go wrong with this. Fast, good looking, chick magnet!

5. Mercedes Benz C63 AMG

You should all be aware by now how much I love this car. Plain and simple, the idea of a massive V8 in a sleeper sedan shell just tickles my fancy. It isn't good looking by any means but if you have seen the videos of F1 Champion Lewis Hamilton throwing it around the track, you'll understand. Subsequently, this was also the same car he was driving when he was arrested for 'hooning' in Australia. Go Lewis!

6. BMW E92 M3

This one is interchangeable with the C63. The only difference is the amount of doors and the amount of history behind it. Oh, and this one comes with a true 6-speed manual. Probably the best looking M3 yet, some will argue though that it isn't the best. This model uses a V8 instead of the awesome straight six that propelled the previous models to legendary status. Either way, it looks good, and goes fast so I like it!

7. Mercedes Benz SLS AMG GT3

So get this. Mercedes has this race car that any one can buy and race. That is, if they have the money. The SLS GT3 is a stripped down version of the SLS AMG which is already awesome to begin with. This version is race ready and features some technology seen on the most advances race cars out there. Mind you, tires for this thing are about $10,000 for the set so I don't think it will make a great daily driver. But who says I'm too old to start a race career?

8. McLaren F1

Ok, call it wishful thinking (it's a wishlist, duh) but I had to include it. It is the (former) fastest road going car in the world! I dreamed of owning one of these since I first played it in video games about a decade ago. This car is divine! Though, I wouldn't get it in orange if I had the choice.

9. 1970 Chevelle SS

Exactly the one in the picture. I love this car to death. Only change that I might like would be a nice gaping hole in the bonnet for a supercharger. Screw practicality. If you saw this car in your rear view mirror you would know what it stands for. And the sound, oh the sound is something to die for.

10. Lancia Stratos

This car defines legendary. Ultra short wheelbase, ferarri engine, wild looks. I would love to take this thing out for a mountain climb. Jeremy Clarkson said it might just be one of the best cars in the world. Ignoring the fact that some awkward leg touching takes place when shifting gears, I might agree. I think it would be next to impossible to import one to Canada, so if you're thinking of this one, I hope you have lots of money!

Well there you have it, ten cars I want. A lot of procrastination as I am realizing now! Thanks!

Scorching Irony

2010-12-13T16:31:00.001-05:00

Chinua Achebe

Today I want to post another essay that was done for school. To be vague, it was a class that involves criticism.

But first I want to answer a question that a few readers have asked. Some of you wonder why I post my school work on here.

The answer is relatively simple. I spend days reading, researching, and writing essays only to hand them in to be marked and forgotten. A high school teacher of mine told me to always be proud of the work that I sign my name to. Since I put so much work in to these essays I only find it appropriate that they be read by more than just my professor. While some scholars may look down on distributing school work online, I most fervently disagree. It's my work, I'll do what I want with it. I had some trouble with this "rebelious" idea in high school once. Thus the wise words from my teacher.

Anyways, I hope that clears the air on that issue.

This paper is about the story Vengeful Creditor by Chinua Achebe. It is of the post colonial genre (so they say) which is one that I am quite fond of. The essay talks about the significance of irony in the story and its relation to the author's intent. While it is a dead simple topic, I go in to some deep ideas about how it works.

Something that sets this paper apart from others is that I actually liked the story. This helped me get my thoughts out in to palatable discourse rather than academic nonsense.

If you walk away feeling like you haven't learned anything form this paper; well then I haven't done my job. I hope you enjoy the idea that I project and consider it the next time you discover the peculiarities of irony.

Enjoy.

Chinua Achebe’s Scorching Irony as Catalyst in Vengeful Creditor

Frederick Douglass knew all too well about a prejudiced society like the one in Chinua Achebe’s short story titled Vengeful Creditor. He said, “At a time like this, scorching irony, not convincing argument, is needed.” (The Hypocrisy Of American Slavery, 1854) Achebe understands this principle as a means to rectify the complex situation in Africa because in Vengeful Creditor, irony plays a significant role as catalyst. This catalyst assists the reader in finding out secret and new ideas on the topic of how post-colonial society in Africa functions as a perpetual paradox.
    If it was not for irony, the rhetoric of Chinua Achebe’s story would not be prevalent. The introduction of imbalanced ideas warrants for an investigation by the reader to figure out why these ideas do not make sense. For example, throughout Vengeful Creditor the reader is provided with some obvious ironies. Achebe calls someone a “forty-year-old boy”, Mrs. Emenike drives a Mercedes Benz in Africa, free education is suppressed by the educated, and even the title can pose an ironic situation. The most effective bit of irony (although not the most obvious) is the newspaper being called the New Age. This title is ironic because it describes an age that Achebe’s ambiguous African country has not yet reached. For a country to be in the “New Age” they would not be one that is corrupt and condemning of advancement. This is the central moral that Achebe is trying to transmit; there is a crooked government and society that sub-consciously believes in the self-preservation of a hindering stasis of society. Just like Frederick Douglass, Achebe sees that using irony to implant this idea in to the reader is much more effective than just projecting it plainly. He uses irony in a brilliantly effective and rhetorical way.
    As noted earlier, the initial ironies in Vengeful Creditor create a sense of imbalance. This imbalance leads to the reader realizing the Achebe’s intent. You can understand how this happens when considering Jean Piaget’s theory of Constructivism. When a developing mind forms what Piaget called a schema (a mental representation of an associated set of perceptions, ideas, and/or actions), it experiences a state disequilibration whereby external stimulus does not line up with the minds internal structure. (Bhattacharya, 2001) In Achebe’s case, we can consider that he wants to alter a set of presumptions, and to do this he disequilibrates the mind with irony. When the reader notices that maybe the newspaper should not be called the New Age since there are no conventions of a new age present, they begin to recognize the discrepancies that make Achebe’s point all the more relevant.
    It is one thing to recognize the irony in Vengeful Creditor, but another to actually understand it. One could read this story and have a basic idea of the corruption in the government, but not fully realize why it happens. Achebe reinforces irony with how he describes the suppression of free education. There is an idea of self-preservation that is prevalent in Vengeful Creditor. This idea can be seen in the governments reluctance to fund free education. It is paradoxical that the government would want to stop funding free primary education in the villages. Achebe presents high society’s reasoning for their dislike of free education in a rather ironic way too. The ironic New Age facilitated criticism of free primary with articles by “responsible citizens—lawyers, doctors, merchants, engineers, salesmen, insurance brokers, university lecturers, etc.’’. This makes the reader wonder two things. Why are the educated against education, and why are they criticizing it in a medium that caters to their own status? This is the sort of investigation that Achebe’s irony deserves. Furthermore, the twisted ideals of high society are reflected in the confusing characters of Mr. And Mrs. Emenike. First of all, it is most ironic that the Emenikes condemn paying high tax dollars for free primary when they already pay to keep those in need of education employed at their house. This hypocrisy, combined with the idea of self-preservation in the government exemplifies how African society functions as a perpetual paradox. However, without irony, that is hard to see.
    The Emenikes catalyze the notion of false virtues with their confusing values. First of all, Mr. Emenike displays a clear reliance on magic instead of human potential. His “belief is that a child who will be somebody will be somebody whether he goes to school or not. It is all written here, in the palm of the hand.” He also plainly thinks that sending Martha’s daughter to school “was only a matter of speaking.” Likewise, his wife is the picture of irony because she is a “Social Welfare Officer and she knows what it means to care for children.” This lie is amplified when she beats her “Little Madamme” with a whip, clearly she does not care about their welfare whatsoever. Mrs. Emenike mirrors the cruelty of the government with her intimidation of “Little Madamme”. It is ironic that in warning Vero about the toxicity of red ink, she is really just catalyzing the the hypocrisy that she is annoyed with in the first place. Learning of the dangers of red ink, Vero tries to kill Goddy so that she can get free primary. Just like Mrs. Emenike scares Vero in to her ludicrous actions, so does the government scare the masses of poor villagers in to perpetually. “That did it, she thought in glowing self-satisfaction. She could see that Vero was suitably frightened.” Both Mrs. Emenike and the government can be proud with a little bit of cruel scare-tactics.
    With this disclosure of situational irony comes the most important part, understanding. You can think of the title, Vengeful Creditor as a concise way to realize what Chinua Achebe is trying to convey. A creditor would be somebody to whom one owes services or money. However, a vengeful creditor would be one that seeks revenge. A vengeful creditor is an incongruent title since it connotes a paradoxical state. If a creditor is owed something, why are the seeking retribution at the same time? Disequilibrated, the reader must consider this idea in the context of Achebe’s story and ask themselves who the creditor is. In this case it could be either the high or suppressed society. Next the reader needs to consider the vengeance, it could be hatred towards the government or the lower class. There are many definitions to this title. However, with the ironic evidence given by Chinua Achebe and the reader’s cunning ability to construct and discover new ideas, hopefully they can decipher the Vengeful Creditor.

Works Cited
Achebe, Chinua. "Vengeful Creditor." 1973. Comp. Dead Baldwin. The Riverside Anthology Of     Short Fiction: Convention And Innovation. Boston: Houghton Mifflin, 1998. 926-38.     Print.

Bhattacharya, K.& Han, S.. "Piaget and Cognitive Development." Emerging Perspectives     on Learning, Teaching, and Technology. Department of Educational Psychology and     Instructional Technology, University of Georgia, 2001. Web.
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Douglass, Frederick. The Hypocrisy Of American Slavery. 1854. Internet Modern History     Sourcebook. Fordham University, Aug. 1997. Web. 1 Dec. 2010.
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