EHDT Studios

Love of my life...

2012-01-01T19:06:00.000-05:00

For more than a year now I've been teaching myself how to play the guitar.
It's difficult to learn an instrument while going to school and working full time, but I manage to squeeze in a few hours of playing time here and there. I started learning last year on a low-end, shallow body acoustic. It met an interesting fate that was a result of rage and frustration. But we won't talk about that. This summer I restrung an old parlour guitar with nylons. I got it as a gift many years back when I was of the age that quickly dismissed hobbies. I got the idea for nylon strings because I had jammed on a vintage classical guitar this summer and realised how fun and easy they can be to play. The guitar turned out to be pretty great. It is small, lightweight, can take a beating, and easy to play. The only downside is that it sounds like garbage.
As my skill advanced I realised that I needed a better instrument to hear my improvements. So did my parents. So this christmas, I was fortunate enough to pool together some funds and buy a brand new guitar.

Now the problem was choosing the right guitar withing my budget. I'll be honest, I am no guitar legend. It is more of a hobby to be honest. Playing guitar is something I do after a long day to get my mind off life for a while. I don't perform or record, I just jam in my room. I took some advice and decided to get an acoustic electric model so that I could explore my options of hooking the guitar up to garageband and playing it through my PA system. With that said, the going rate for acoustic electrics is rather high. For the same price as my new Fender CD-60CE, I could have had a nice Simon and Patrick acoustic. I know the brand reputation with this Quebec-made guitars to be fairly good. They look and sound awesome too. However, the Fender stood out because it had literally everything I wanted.
The beautiful thing about the Fender CD-60CE is that it has features of a pro-model guitar for a fraction of the price. Little things like an on-board tuner, cutaway, decorative rosette, TWO strap buttons, and inlay fret markers instead of stickers. On the other hand, it does lack a few small things that bring up the value of the guitar. It is manufactured in China, little of which is done by hand. It has a plastic saddle, nut, and bridge pins (which i plan on upgrading to TUSQ) And the overall finish is rather basic. To be honest though, I can't see those being things that will affect my enjoyment of the instrument.
Comparing the Fender to my old parlour guitar, the difference in sound quality is staggering. I can't believe what I've been missing playing on cheap guitars. Yeah, so mine isn't really an "expensive" guitar, per se. But I see things in it that value it way higher than anything else I've ever palyed.
Since it's christmas break, I've obviously had quite some time to jam. I've learned a few new licks, songs, and chords. I can't wait until I get back to Waterloo tomorrow so I can run it through some simulated amps and here how I fare on an "electric" guitar.

Fishman Isys Preamp

I have some plans for taking care of this baby which I have named Ethel. I plan on putting in new bridge pins and a new saddle when I need to do my first re-string. I want to experiment with different materials. It's a cheap and harmless upgrade that could benefit sound. Also, I want to invest time in cleaning and polishing it every so often. I've always been a fan of beat up looking guitars, but this one might be just too nice to ruin. I'll save that for when I get an electric.
Yeah, at some point I wouldn't mind getting an electric guitar. The problem is that I have expensive taste in that category. I really want an American made telecaster. Google it and you'll understand why that's a problem.
I've embedded a slideshow below with a bunch of picture that I took this evening. I was rather limited in terms of camera gear but i think I captured some of the more attractive attributes of the guitar.
I hope to actually maybe possibly record some stuff in the coming months to put it up here. That's a big if, but I know a lot of you would want to hear. :)

Anyways, happy new year. Enjoy the photos!

And here's one more of Moe and I jamming on New Years Eve.

EHDT Tracks Vol. 6

2011-12-15T22:03:00.002-05:00

I know, I know.

I've been off the site for quite a while now.

This happens so often that there isn't much point in explaining myself. I'll just give the gist of it. Working full time while going to school full time and trying to maintain a social life means I don't have much time for things like this.

Luckily, I'm on holiday break, so I am sending to fresh tunes your way.

Just a note. Due to those annoying new YouTube ads, some embedded songs may just play an ad instead of the song. In that case, just go to YouTube you lazy sod.

City and Colour - Weightless

This is one of those songs where I think that sometimes music is written just for me. Dallas Green is a genius with this one. The song escalates to a soulful solo and then ends, giving some symbolic justice to the lyrics. Just listen.

Young The Giant - My Body

Haven't read too far in to these lyrics. I like this song simply because it's full of energy. Awesome anthem-like vocals paired with a powerful bassline.

Childish Gambino - Heartbeat

I was torn between this one, and the track "Bonfire" from Gambino's new album. Had to choose this one since it's so damn unique. I'm on the fence about dubstep. Sometimes I like it, other times I don't. This is alright. I'll leave it at that. Can't beat Gambino's flow though, ya know?

Matthew Good - Non Populous

I saw Matt perform this track back in October. One of the best shows I've ever been to. You really have to warm up to this track, but it helped me get in to his new album Lights of Endangered Species

The Real McKenzies - Will You Ne Come Back Again?
A classic shanty redone by these old Canadian boys.

Searching For Satellites - Chemicals
A buddy of mine got me in to this band from London, ON. Didn't know I like metal eh? Yeah there's a lot you don't know then.

Alexisonfire - Vex
As of recent, I've been listening to Alexisonfire almost every day. I've always loved this band and when I learned that they had broken up, it just made me want to listen to them more.
Their last EP, Dog's Blood was hard as fuck. This track makes me so sad that I won't get to see another Alexisonfire album.

The xx - Intro
This is a really eerie ambient track from The xx. For some reason it reminds me of empty streets at night. This may be because I listened to it a lot this summer when I was just mindlessly skateboarding around Waterloo at 2:00am. Call me weird, I dare you.

USS - Yo Hello Hooray
I sense a bit of Passion Pit influence in this one. A much lighter toned USS song than I am used to. They're still pretty underground. I really hope this one puts them on the map.
Go Canada!

Hope everyone likes these. Just a few songs that have been on repeat these last couple of months.

I hope I can post more soon. Fingers crossed!

Ev

What is CONE-ING?

2011-07-10T01:36:00.000-04:00

Oh the things we get up to when we're in Hamilton.
Just hanging out tonight and decided to try cone-ing, the newest internet sensation.
Enjoy folks

Treeplanting Photos

2011-07-01T19:50:00.000-04:00

Here's a slideshow of my favourite planting photos.
Enjoy!

Another Dale Peterson Post

2011-03-31T14:03:00.002-04:00

This is one of the last papers that I'll have to write for an English course.

Over the past four months I have really become fond of semiotics.

Social semiotics is interesting in the sense that it can be literally applied to anything.

I wrote this paper to basically showcase my semiotic knowledge. On my favourite topic, it explores how meaning is made in Dale Peterson's video but that this meaning can be interpreted in an infinite amount of ways.

I had fun writing this paper mostly because it was on a character that I enjoyed.

It is so rare in English studies to get the freedom that I always associated with writing.

I hope you enjoy this one, I surely did.

And if you need a link to the video. Here you go.

A Meditative Exploration of The Semiotic Operations in Dale Peterson’s Political Campaign

    Political campaign ads (specifically videos) no doubt employ tactics to alter the minds of the public. While these semiotic and rhetorical techniques are often a principal element in the triumph of a politician; they are not magic. A virtue of democracy is that society has the opportunity to gauge and evaluate members of state to form opinions. In a Utopia, the social conventions that determine political change would be based purely on the direct notions and goals that a candidate works with. Essentially, opinions would be arbitrary. Interestingly enough, we do not live in a Utopia and therefore must consider the degree of incongruity that exists within Western cultural structures. These are the conditions that allow for the social-semiotic perspective to bridge the gap between cause and effect.
    Dale Peterson is a Republican Agriculture Commission candidate for the state of Alabama. His political crusade operates in a place where Southern-American, Republican, and often times Confederate folkways dominate the masses. These folkways propagate values that commonly favour the goals of candidates like Dale Peterson. Given that Dale will probably win this election; why is it important to make note of the semiotics in use? America has flagrantly bifurcated political principles and it is the meanings in videos like this that proliferate indifference between Republicans and Democrats. Since Dale Peterson’s ad engages semiotic strategies, it is crucial to scrutinize the conditions at which meaning is generated, altered, and used. To a home-grown Republican oriented Southerner, Dale Peterson generates an ethos of respectability, authority, and experience while to someone else (perhaps a Democrat in Maine,) Peterson would rub off as a rambling gun-toting maniac who is probably a bigot of some sort. The question is, what are the signs that generate these meanings?
    To begin our exploration, it is critical to note the multi-modality of Dale Peterson’s communication. Being that this video contains both images and a narrative, there are multiple levels of interaction for the audience. Furthermore, Peterson’s speech conforms to the idea of a hybrid speech act by both offering information, and offering services. (Halliday, 1985) These two interacts shift between connotative and denotative meanings. For example, Peterson tells it like it is. He was a farmer, a business man, a cop, and a marine during Vietnam (0:08). It is hard to take those offerings of information in any other way; you’d better listen up. However, Peterson also alludes to “Thugs and criminals” (0:21.) Who are the thugs and criminals? This is a situation at which social context can determine the meaning from verbal signs. Secondly, it is hard to miss Dale’s shotgun as he waves it around about three times. Again referring to our Southerner example, this can be interpreted as a sign of security and tradition. On the contrary, our Democrat in Maine could see this as a sign of uncontrollable aggression. Either way, it is the salience of said item that captures the eyes of the audience and creates a spectacle worth analyzing.
    There are a number of salient elements in this video that contribute to its composition. It is often difficult to incorporate elements of composition to anything other than a static image. However, with enough consideration of the nuances in this video, composition becomes evident. For example, notice that throughout the video, Peterson is obviously the salient element but he is framed by an environment which suggests that he is in fact on an Alabama farm. On Peterson’s end, this can be considered a rhetorical technique as it places him within an environment that showcases his legitimacy towards his cause. In other words, if Peterson would have shot this ad in a stuffy office (like a Democrat might) it might suggest that he has never even been to a farm and that he is not a suitable candidate. But again, this interpretation is determined by social context. More salient items that can be judged include Peteron’s outrageous hat and attractive horse. These elements provide a nice transition in to studying the discourse of the Peterson’s video with how they represent reality.
    Dale’s “Marlboro Man” look is a manifestation of the cultural realities that surround his campaign. While not all Alabamians are gun totting cowboys, Peterson draws upon the fact that many associate with this as a constructed reality of their culture. Essentially, by conforming to this reputation of a hard working, alpha male, shoot you in the goddamn face guy, Dale says “Look. This is us. Get used to it.” Rhetorically, this is intimidating from the Democrat standpoint. While there may be gun-owning and hat wearing Democrats in Maine, they would rarely associate with this stereotype; that is if they had any hope in winning. Whereas for Peterson, he knows that it is comforting for his society to be able to connect with their candidate and that he can put the fear of God in to anyone who does not.
    These elements of discourse also bring to light the idea of the myths that surround a video of this genre. To explore these myths, it is first important to define genre. Van Leeuwen says that texts are characterized by their means of expression, use of media, and what they do. (123)Political videos have their own genre; however, they can be divided in to several sub-genres. These genres are usually defined by the balance of persuasive appeals that operate within them. For example, at various points in the video, Peterson conforms to a genre of self-praise. This has a higher appeal to ethos and almost diminishes pathos and logos. Furthermore, Peterson also engages in the attack genre. Dale defames his competition by referring to the common sense “Who on earth would support such a dummy?” (0:46) This takes the appeal away from himself and focuses it on logos. It is important to consider rhetorical appeals and how they define genre because they are an initial source for what the video does in society. Roland Barthes explored how signs like these governed myths. To him, it would be of value to take in to account genre. There are definite myths in society about a political attack. Many feel that this form of advertising oneself is slanderous and poor-form. From that, society might think that the Peterson is insecure and foolish for calling his opponent dumb. Likewise, videos of self-praise can generate the myth that the candidate is inadequate and lacks policy so he/she must boost their image. It is hard to apply this myth to Peterson since his self-praise is so blatant and serious. This discrepancy is a good way of showing that even though these myths exist in society, they may not always be true.
    Dale Peterson became a YouTube celebrity with this video. This success is the result of Peterson seemingly unintentionally employing a degree of humour. Peterson is a sensational figure of his culture. His over-the-top expressions and in-your-face expressions of southern lifestyle (the gun) almost make this ad seem like a parody. Parodies are intriguing because their satire can smear the value of the subject. Obviously, Peterson is dead-serious about his campaign and is probably not trying to be very funny. However, not all political campaign videos reach millions of hits on YouTube. The reality is that many people think this video is hilarious. The beauty of analyzing a YouTube video is that right below it are thousands of actual testimonies. The most “liked” comment (with a grad total of 524 “thumbs-up”) on this video is a person saying “When the gun came out I’ll admit I laughed.” The degree of humour in this situation makes politics a casual ordeal. Again, while Peterson is dead-serious, the funny perspective makes him more approachable. This video familiarizes those who are not actively involved in Alabamian politics with the social and political issues that Dale is so fervently engaged with. Peterson’s video reached an entirely new audience just by being funny; a quality that should not be ignored.
    In regards to this audience; YouTube is also very helpful by providing the age and gender information of the registered users that viewed this video. This takes the hard work out of guessing the intended and actual audience of the video. From the video’s page we learn that of the 2,349,813 views, this video is most popular with males between 35 and 64. Looking at this video, there is no question why that is the result. Peterson appeals to the mature male with voting on his mind. His no-guff attitude, guns, and manly disposition make him seem like oh hell of a guy. So what does this say about society? We can guess that this age demographic of males like to associate themselves with figures like Dale, perhaps even looking up to him. Further reading of the comments reveal some evidence that supports this claim. One male from Mt. Rainer said that “Dale Peterson is my kind of candidate!” while a student from Finland said, “I love you Dale.” This type of exploration in to audience is extremely helpful in learning about semiotics. However, it is also rather disturbing.
    Since men obviously have some strange fascination with Dale it might also be said that women find him appealing too. Studying one gender in an audience will not illustrate the broad picture. Women must be taken in to account since ultimately, they will account for almost half of Peterson’s votes. We can also assume that while this video reached millions of hits, not all of them were male. There was still a massive number of females that watched this video. The female perspective allows us to consider the abstraction that maybe Peterson is employing the notion that sex sells. Though in the end, this is just another myth.
    Analysis of this video could be infinite. As a point of reference, this video can be used to comment on the limitless layers of society and culture. The fascinating conclusion is that no answer is entirely true. Meanings can be interpreted differently depending on context, prejudices, constraints, and opinions. In the end, it is fascinating to imagine how Dale Peterson’s video might function in a Utopia. In a world where there are no dictating discrepancies in society could this video even exist? It is humbling to think that we are able to take advantage of a world plagued by indifference to find meaning and reason. Ultimately, it is our inability to agree with one another that makes semiotics so brilliantly fascinating.

Evan RC MacKinnon 03/31/2011

Works Cited
We are Better than That!!!!! Prod. ICAUCUSREGION6. Perf. Dale Peterson. YouTube.com. Dale     Peterson 2010 Campaign, 16 May 2010. Web. 18 Mar. 2011.
    .

Van Leeuwen, Theo. Introducing Social Semiotics. London: Routledge, 2006. Print.

EHDT Tracks Vol. 5

2011-03-28T11:15:00.001-04:00

Hey there everyone!

It's been an awfully stressful semester. Subsequently, I haven't had much time to compile a list of music to post. However, I assure you; this stress has been suppressed by a cornucopia of awesome new tracks.

This month I sort of mixed genres up a bit.

As I've said in earlier posts, I have phases of genres. To be honest, I don't really know what was going on this month.

I'll open up today with a song from Lupe Fiasco's new album LASERS. I highly suggest that anyone who has any sort of appreciation for hip-hop should go and check this album out. It is BY FAR his best work yet. It breaks a bunch of rules and really establishes itself with a unique presence within popular hip-hop. It seems like these days everyone is trying to produce something that will get played in the club. Lupe didn't take this route and stuck true to his core values; very cool.

Lupe Fiasco - Break The Chain (feat. Eric Turner and Sway)

This is a tricky song. You hear this house melody and thing this song is going to burst in to fist pumping nonsense. Instead, it explodes with lyrical genius. Definitely a contender for #1 most played this month.

&lt;p&gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;p&amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;p&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;p&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;br&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;a&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;/p&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;/p&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;/p&amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&lt;/p&gt;

The Gaslight Anthem - We Came To Dance

So I meant to post this on the last track list but totally forgot. I really started to listen to Gaslight this summer and only a few months ago realized how great of a song this is. Rock out to this one!

Dropkick Murphys - Deeds Not Words

As you may know, I saw the Dropkick Murphys in Detroit last month. Right afterwards they released their awesome new album "Going Out In Style." Here's my favourite song so far. If you have the chance, check out the awesome story behind this album!

Deadmau5 - Raise Your Weapon (Feat. Greta Svabo Bech)

I know what you're thinking, "Really Evan? Dupstep?" Hey, don't hate. I like how this song progresses from house to dubstep. If I time it right, I can usually make this song last my walk to class. The transition in sound makes for a fun time!

Dr. Dre - The Next Episode (Feat. Snoop Dogg, Nate Dogg)

At 2:13 in this track, shit gets real. This is a classic that has enjoyed some recent jubilation on my iPod. I also recently discovered that this album is a great road trip selection having proven itself on trips to Blue Mountain and Kingston.

Chuckie - Sensation White Belgium 2011 Set

You've got to listen to the entire 1.5 hour set to really get a hang of how progressive Chuckie is. If you want to check it out, he released it as a free download.

Beenie Man - I'm Okay

With all those papers and exams, it's nice to kick back and listen to something like this. Mind you, your roommates might get annoyed when you sing it many times within a 72 hour period.

Lynard Skynard - Free Bird

What's not to love about this song? My roommates have spent many hours perfecting this track on Rock Band and as a result, I have subconsciously memorized it through hearing it in the background. Great jam!

There. I know it's only a few tracks; but when you consider how long that Chuckie set is, you'll understand. Anyways, those are the tracks that are going to carry me through exams. Wish me luck!

Re-blogging, worth it?

2011-03-27T19:24:00.000-04:00

It seems like every blog I read (and I read many) just re-posts articles from other sites. So I figure, why can't I do that here?
It happens every day. I come across a great article that I want to share so I post it to facebook or shoot out a few links. Sadly, I never know how it was received or who even read it.
I know by now that I have a pretty solid reader base. There aren't hundreds of you, but enough that I know my audience.
I get that a lot of you come here for the original material, the rants, and the playlists.
My question is, would re-blogging other material that I thought was interesting water down my own stuff?
I could see this going two ways. One, my readers would enjoy the material and come back more often. Two, they would get sick of it.
I've decided to set up a poll to see what you guys think.
Do me a favour and tell me your opinion. I have a lot of great stuff that I want to share, I just want to know if it's worth it.
Fill it out!

One of Daniel's Many Talents

2011-03-25T12:31:00.003-04:00

A photograph is always invisible, it is not it that we see.That's a quote by Roland Barthes, an illustrious Semiotician. It may or may not mean something to you. It speaks about the meaning that we absorb through the signs in a photograph.

Click to see the glorious high-res

To me, there is no set type of photograph; but merely a variance in tenor.
I've noticed that there are a number of "friends" on facebook that think having a nice digital SLR camera means that they are a talented photographer. To me, these massive sets of photos mean very little.
I don't think Dan is one of these people. Hell, Dan doesn't even put his photos on facebook.
When you look at the amount of time, consideration, and appreciation that Dan puts in to his photos, it is clear that he's working with talent.
I wanted to share this photo that we took over the christmas break. It was a team effort that took probably fifteen minutes to set-up, compose, and capture.
Some things that I like about this photo are the vectors leading towards the vanishing point, the framing of the trees and lampposts, and the obvious fact that we had to climb those stairs to get the photo.
Take from it what you want, I just hope you really appreciate Dan's work.
I will try to get a hold of some more in the future. Hopefully this summer will produce some great memories on film!

Cornucopia Of Awesomness

2011-03-21T21:51:00.001-04:00

Moe sent me this nostalgic video today that had me in stitches.

I remember serving the Turkey BLT back in the day when I worked at McDonalds. It was an alright sandwich.

But never did I ever consider it to be of the magnitude that this Cape Bretoner illustrates it.

"One gigantic cornucopia of awesomeness"

It is beautifully poetic. It also helps that he has a ridiculous maritime accent and is talking about what is really just another McDonalds sandwich.

Just a quick disclaimer. As a former McDonalds employee I must admit that the bacon used on that sandwich did not have a bit of "hickory smoke" to it. It was really just regular bacon. Sorry, bro.

Check out the video below and enjoy some of television's glory days!

It is INDUCTION

2011-03-20T23:22:00.004-04:00

There are ducks. And then there are ducks within ducks. Perhaps there are also ducks with ducks inside them.

Some say Inception was a great movie. I thought it was alright. Opinions aside, it defined the "meta" characteristic of the verb to "mindfuck."

I'd like to take a moment to show you something far more "meta" than the movie Inception. I was strolling through a Kingston, ON Dollarama when I came across this peculiar waterfowl ornament. Noticing that it depicted a duck with another duck inside it (or perhaps a duck within a duck,) I was overwhelmed with that sense of "this shit's meta." It wasn't long before I whipped up a clever pun and joke to show off my discovery. As my friends joined me I said, "Hey look, a duck inside a duck! Some might say it's inductive!" And thus Induction was born.

What is Induction? I can't adequately define it; but it's that feeling you get when you see that there is a duck, inside of another duck. How far can Induction go you ask? Well let me ask you this; how many ducks can be within another duck?

I think you can begin to see why this excites me so.

For a moment, let's consider the popular definition of Induction. The one that I am most familiar with goes as such.

in-duct-ion | ɪnˈdʌkʃ(ə)n |
noun
The production of an electric or magnetic state by the proximity (without contact) of an electrified or magnetized body.

Physics is a wonderful thing and I fully appreciate this definition. However, how can it explain why a duck can be inside a duck? Another popular definition goes as follows.

The inference of a general law from particular instances.

This brings us closer to realizing what is happening here. My hypothesis is that somewhere in The People's Republic Of China (that is where it is said to be "made" (that is, if one can even "make" induction)) a genius decided to sculpt this life-changing physical manifestation of thought in order to prove something? Perhaps he strives to prove the infinitude of Anas platyrhynchos or possibly the power of a simple pun. Either way, the being that created this (though I highly doubt they are from this universe) is a deity. I now worship Inductive as an icon of all which I do not understand. I only hope that this divine creator leaves me more clues so I can one day find myself.

On the other hand, it is entirely possible that this thing was carved and then mass produced by some Chinese dude tripping on opium. Though, I'd like to appreciate the initial.

If you appreciate the Induction as much as myself, you can pick one up at your local Dollarama for the low-low price of two dollars. I think it is a great price considering the hours (or perhaps moments) of purely blissful misunderstanding that you will enjoy.

If you are not a fan of Mallards, it is also available in a Wood Duck (Aix sponsa) variation.

I think it would make a great gift or lifetime keepsake that you can pass on to your children and tell to them the story of Induction.

I hope you enjoyed the story of how I came to find Induction.

Best,

Ev

A Classic Example...

2011-03-16T15:58:00.001-04:00

My semiotics class would have a hay-day over this image.
The morning that we discussed things like vectors, distance, background, and all that fun stuff in English 306F, I had already changed my facebook display picture to this.
Convenient eh?
I brought it up just because I thought it was a great image. Let's be real. Here we've got the two dudes from nuclear super nations with their fingers on the missile launch button; and they're just kickin' it.
Mind you, these are the two guys that supposedly "shut down" the epic cold war. While they are allegedly heroes of their respective nations, I shall launch my own conspiracy claiming that I am suspicious... That is all.
I was always dumbfounded by a story my tenth grade history teacher told me about how allied and central forces once stopped fighting for a few minutes to celebrate christmas with each other. I also find this highly unlikely but enjoy the amusement of its absurdity.
In the end, if you forget about the context of this image, it still epitomizes badassery. Just look at those suits!

And The Winner is...

2011-02-26T13:22:00.001-05:00

...
GEOGRAPHY!
Specifically, Honours Bachelor Of Arts - Geography and Environmental Management - Minor of English Language and Literature.

I spent several days mulling over the choices for my new major. I consulted many friends and Waterloo staff for advice. I just want to thank everybody for the good advice and honesty.

I've decided to choose geography based on a few reasons. First of all, Geography as an area of study has the end feeling of accomplishment that things like English and Psychology lack. For example, I can spend days writing an essay for an English class on things that I don't truly believe in. When it is all said and done, I have done anything for myself -- rather, my professor. I feel that psychology will present the same frustrations. Reading the geography course descriptions shows me that there are physical manifestations of your hard work, you gain knowledge, and apply it through labs. This is the practical hands on approach that I want from university.
The marking system found in geography is relatively different from that in English. In geography, most courses feature labs, assignments, midterms, and exams whereas in English, you are marked on one huge paper, one midterm, and on exam. Having more opportunities to boost marks is a feature I wish I had in English. In English, if you're not right on your essay, you are pretty much screwed for your GPA.
Probably the biggest pull that geography has over any other field is its mixture of science and the arts. I have to admit, I am a pretty empirical guy and I love science. I also love theory and logic; thus the reason I went in to english. Geography is a mix of the two. In one class I can study soil degradation, while in another one I can theorize and discuss the agriculture in Chile. I am hoping that I will be able to use the skills I learned from english and apply them to the artistic standpoint of geography while using my scientific drives and curiosities to motivate me through science.

In regards to my academic path, I had some confusions over which one to take.
I had the following choices;
BA 3yr General Geography and Environmental Management
BA 4yr Honours General Geography and Environmental Management
BES 4yr Geography and Environmental Management

Each degree has its respective pros and cons. For instance, if I take the BES path; I must take things like stats, and biology. Bad idea for my grades. However, it has great credibility. With the 3 year program I can graduate "on time" but it means that I don't get an honours degree and I can't minor in English. However, with the 3 year plan I don't have to keep a very high average. That would make balancing work and school much easier.
The plan is to apply for the Honours 4 year with the minor in English. This way, if my grades sink, I fall in to the 3 year plan and get the hell out.

So that's the plan guys. I am very excited for next fall when I can start taking geography courses.
I am also pretty happy to be putting english behind me.
In the coming days I will be thoroughly explaining my position on english (in english!)

Till then!

Inevitable Feeling of Uncertainty

2011-02-13T15:13:00.001-05:00

I never really thought I would reach this point in my university career. Going in I was so confident with my choice of being an English major that I never really considered the alternatives.
To be dead honest, English was my fallback plan and I think that I was so upset to not be taking Geography and Aviation that I just went with it.
I still love English to death and am really enjoying the studies that I am doing. However, I feel like I have reached a stasis in my program where I have learned all there is to know about English, and now it is just being complicated.
I never explored English enough to understand how trivial it gets at the higher levels. While I certainly enjoy learning about semiotic processes and conventions; it is frustrating when they are taught in every single class. Last Wednesday I went to all four of my usual classes and noticed that they all followed the lines of the reading that I did for Criticism that morning which basically summed up my entire semiotics course. This theory (mostly Saussure) was taught in every class that day with the exception of American Lit. where we learned what a thesis is. Fifth grade shit.
By now I hope you can understand my frustrations with English (at least at UW.) I could go on forever about the loopholes in the courses and content but I'd just be working myself up.
Last night I got some advice from a rather experienced student who has completed his undergrad. He said that I shouldn't go through with a major that I am uncertain of. It would be a waste of time, money, and talent.
Some of the best advice I have had in a while.
So since then I have been seriously contemplating switching my academic plan. I still want to at least minor in English since I have already come this far I would hate to write it off as a waste.
Basically, I want to change my major and possible open up the possibility of co-op studies.
Here are my two considerations;

Psychology
Since taking Psych 101 in 1A I was seriously impressed by the discipline. I constantly find myself wondering about the functions of the brain and what causes people to do certain things. I learned a lot from psych 101 that has not only given me some great knowledge, but a little bit of wisdom. I am not as passionate about psych as I was English but my passion to learn new things is certainly being stimulated by the idea of becoming a psych student. Like I said earlier, I am not really learning anything new in English. Whereas in psychology, I feel that there are a million things that I haven't learned yet.
Career wise, I was never that interested in working in the "english" field (if there even is one.) With Psychology, I feel that there would be a number of jobs that would be immensely more interesting than technical writing or teaching. I am particularly interested in the idea of research jobs where my hard work would actually go towards achieving something.
In taking psychology I would probably have to take either an extra year, or summer courses so that I can get caught up on the requirements.
There is also the possibility of a co-op placement in the summer which would help me pay for school and get me in to the working world. It seems like a pretty good deal.

Geography
Geography has always been sort of a closet fascination of mine. Last year I took an introduction course to Geography and thoroughly enjoyed it. For me, it is both easy and entertaining. I like to learn about the thing that I am living on and I think that it would be a good basis to find a job in the aviation field. I have heard about jobs with the government and other contractors that do geographic surveys with planes and whatnot all over the country. That would be a dream job!
A geography major is offered through the faculty of Arts and one again has potential for co-op. I think this degree would be more worth my money than an English one and would certainly be more fun.

These are my two solid options. If neither work out I am looking at the possibility of co-op for English studies so that I can begin to work in my "field" and make some good money.
I am in contact with advisors and whatnot to give me some advice and steps to executing the change.
I also just want to take a moment to thank all my peers for the excellent advice and assistance that they have been giving me with my decision. It shows me that there are a lot of really knowledgeable people out there that aren't afraid to share what they know if you just ask.
I would also like to apologize to the department of English, my high school English teachers, Shakespeare, Hemingway, Chaucer, Joyce, Donne, Herbert, Milton, Chekhov, Stein, Hughes, Updike, Swift, Austen, and the other greats. I am sorry if you feel that I have let you down. You still lie deep in my heart and I will continue to cherish and respect you all.

Wish me luck!

Hell Wednesday

2011-02-09T01:27:00.002-05:00

Here's a rather concise explanation as to why I am not posting as of late.
As you all know, my wednesdays are insane. Tomorrow is no exception and will probably set the bar for all wednesdays to come.

Tomorrow goes as follows.
At the current rate it will likely be anywhere between -25C to -18C with the windchill.

8:40am-Wake

8:50- Leave house in a bundle of warm clothes to walk to class.

9:30- Arrive at class and sit through 50 minutes of mind boggling literary theory. Contemplate existence.

10:20- Find a seat in the library and begin last minute cramming for linguistics midterm.

11:30-Begin linguistics midterm. Assume the position.

12:50pm-option a) head to library to begin studying for the midterms on the following two days. option b) nourish myself with food and then study for a smaller amount of time.

2:00-Attend American Lit. for a lecture on a book that I have yet to read.

3:20-Leave American Lit. and rush to Tech. Comm.

3:30-Attend Tech. Comm. and sit through hours of basic theory that I already learned in fifth grade.

4:50-Leave Tech. Comm. and rush to work for a 5:00pm shift.

5:00-Work an eight hour shift on one of the busiest nights possible.

2:00am-option a)study for tomorrow's midterm. option b)sleep

This post exists more as a personal reminder and schedule for me.

Chances are that I won't be able to eat until I reach work.

All of this in very cold temperatures with an attitude and moral that has degraded to the point where I care not about my physical appearance and disregard most things (eg. people) for they will only slow me down.

Logical me says that I should be asleep now.

That's a good idea, I think I'll do that.

There's a new C63 in town...

2011-01-28T00:15:00.001-05:00

Click here for full size

Avid readers will be familiar with my infatuation with Mercedes' V8 sedan. Today I learned about the new 2012 model that is going to be coming out.
While many will find this post pointless and stupid; I find it to be a perfectly good way to burn a few minutes before bed.

Let's be honest here. How could I possibly transport my skis in a four door sedan? Mercedes saw to this dilemma with their idea for an estate version of my favourite car. While there was one last year, it is only now that I am realizing its awesomeness. Complete with a huge ass, roof racks, and the same V8 BiTurbo powerhaus; this bad boy is the definitive sleeper. Only this afternoon (in Semiotics) did I daydream about slapping around challengers and rice rockets with skis on the rack and suitcases in the boot.
Mind you, if I owned one I would murder it out with matte black paint, black rims, tinted lights, and some exhaust upgrades. So in a sense, it will be less of a sleeper.
Speaking of sleeping.
I need to be sleeping.
I don't even know why I posted this.
Goodnight, all.

Case Of The Wednesdays

2011-01-26T10:43:00.000-05:00


This reminds me of the stamps my crazy 5th grade teacher had.

If Wednesday is the hump day; mine is Mount Everest day.
Being an arts student I am used to a rather thin schedule. Moe has a 12 hour Friday (or something crazy like that) so I have no true reason to complain. While I only have five hours of class on Wednesdays, (no real difference from high school) each class is punctuated by pure insanity.
Beginning at 9:00am I literally roll out of bed and out to school. No shower, food, barely dressed properly. If GRT doesn't completely screw me I may make it to class on time. If I am lucky I will get time to buy a coffee.
After an hour of being mindfucked by literary theory I get an hour to study. This is one of only a few hours I get each week to study. So I study, hard.
Next I head over to linguistics where I am again abused and tormented. This time it is not by the theory but by the embarrassment that comes with demonstrating it in front of an eager class. Oh, and the prof. is a grade A PSYCHO BITCH. I am constantly questioning why I am being taught phonetics by a woman with a thick accent of some unknown origin.
After Linguistics I get a dandy one hour break again to binge on reading and perhaps feed myself. This all depends on the amount of money in my pockets and whether I truly feel the symptoms of malnourishment. Let's put it this way; I would be very good at following a diet. It's all in your head.
"Do I REALLY need sustenance? Naw, I can make it."
Low on fuel I endure a long American Lit class where I am able to catch up with my digital life. By that I mean standing emails, texts, forum messages. American lit isn't a terrible place to be. The class is one of those ones that you can find the equilibrium between reading and learning about a text. If you pay complete attention to a class, then you won't have to read the material. Where if you read all the material, you don't need to listen to the class. I do a bit of both. Read half the material, listen to half of the class. Works just fine.
After American Lit. I literally run to Tech Comm. This class provides me with a much needed break before work. Really, it is the easiest class I have ever been in. I think it is geared towards engineers and mathies that don't have great writing skills. For me, it is all common sense. Surprisingly, it is one of the only classes I have that has a tolerable professor. And he doesn't even have a PhD.
If I am lucky I will get ten minutes in between class and work. Today is a different story, I actually have -20 minutes. Yeah that's right, class and work overlap. This is going to get interesting.
Once at work I can wind down from the day and refuel on coffee. I usually work around 5-7 hours and walk home.
The walk home provides some excellent time for me to think about things other than work, school, work school. Good fun.

I think that Wednesdays are good for me. They keep me motivated and so far I have managed to push through them rather well. Once Wednesday is done, how could the rest of the week be any harder? It truly is the hump day.

Wish me luck today. I conclude this post on my first break. The one where I should be studying.

This is a cool music video...

2011-01-24T14:41:00.002-05:00

Don't do laundry late at night. Want to know why? Because you'll end up forgetting about it, going to bed, realizing it is still there in the washer, and then you have to blog to stay awake so you an retrieve it.
This is what is happening right now. However, this post will show up later tomorrow (which is already in the past for you).

Anyways, this isn't the real George Bush but it certainly provides an entertaining spectacle. I keep wishing that it was the real W. I have a feeling he could get up to this sort of foolery.
The song isn't bad either. In fact, I have listened to it a few times this evening. Though I may have been procrastinating, that is usually rare for a song that I have just discovered.
Many props and special handshakes to The Time Zone Advantage for this link. It is EHDT Studios approved.
P.S. for some fun, check out that blog. It's a fledgling with big wings. Metaphor of the day.
Here's the video

EHDTSTUDIOS: Kindle Ready

2011-01-23T18:46:00.001-05:00

That's an image of www.ehdtstudios.com being displayed on an Amazon Kindle.
After waiting for months I finally have the new Kindle 3 eReader.
The reason I bought this piece of technology is to make buying course material for university more affordable.
The Kindle was $139 (US) but by the time I had it shipped and converted it was probably somewhat more expensive.
However, this thing has already paid for itself. Through some searching I have managed to acquire every single text for my American Literature course online, for free. That is about $180 worth of books that I now own thanks to a few educational, open source, and slightly dubious sources.
I have also acquired a very large selection of classic reads from authors like Twain, Joyce, Dawkins, Updike, Austen, Hemingway, Nabokov, Dickens, and an assortment of authors that I may not have been able to find through the conventional means.
It is strange to think that I now have a rather reputable library that doesn't really exist. It is also rather depressing that literature is being digitized. any of my peers found it strange that I (of all people) would begin using an eReader since it goes against many of the things I stand for as a scholar of English. I look at it this way; English has residual, current, and emergent cultures that have shaped its existence over time. At this moment we see the spoken word and oral culture to be the residual, and written text to be the current culture. The emergent culture of literature is the digitization and distribution methods being made possible by computers and networks of scholars from around the world.
In buying and using an eReader I am participating in the evolution of literary culture. Changing the mechanism by which your brain receives the message of literature does not distort it at all. Many traditionalists see the eReader as an impure abomination to literature. Yet, so was print culture when it weened society of oral transmission of story.
Long story short (pun intended) I like the Kindle because it has increased my productivity within only a few days of owning it. It allows me to read more often and read literature that before, would have been out of my reach.
Enough with the philosophical gibberish; let's talk about the technicalities.

I introduce you to this small slideshow of photos so you can familiarize yourself with what I speak of.

The most frustrating thing about the Kindle is that it has taken forever to reach Canada from the distribution centre in Nevada, USA. If my Amerifriend were to order this exact same item to his residency in Maryland it would take 1-3 days. This location is a farther distance than Hamilton or Waterloo yet my shipment (because it was Canadian) took many, many weeks. In fact, it never left actually shipped until a few days prior to my receiving it. For some bizarre reason, Amazon holds the Canadian shipments for an necessarily long time. However I was expecting that since they said it on the website. I could have chosen a Kobo reader or a Sony reader however they lacked the features that I am so very fond of on the Kindle. I will talk about them now.

The Kindle displays many formats of text and does so very well. You can see in the photos above that it has an incredibly crisp display regardless of the format. The question I've gotten a few times is, "Is that a sticker?" in regards to the image on the display. It looks so sharp and natural that it pushes the barriers of senses. It truly does look like a printed page. The only disadvantage to this remarkable display is that it can't be read in the dark. However, that can be a good thing since reading a backlit display before bed can do terrible, terrible things to your circadian rhythm.
Among the Kindle's ability to reader comes a few other great features. One, the Kindle can browse the web from a wireless connection. Seeing websites in eInk format is equally fascinating as books. Two, it has the ability to shop for books right there on the device. Three, it can make notes, highlights, and look things up in the built in dictionary. Four, it can play mp3s. Five, it connects to Facebook and Twitter.
These are some things that three years ago would have been impressive on cellphone. And now they are simple features on a mundane thing like an electronic book. The Kindle really goes above and beyond its duty.
I can really appreciate the 1 month long battery life and the ability to use practically any USB charging port.
Lastly, I can't get over the size and shape of the device. It is perfect to carry anywhere and although it is difficult to hold in a manner that prevents you from mashing buttons by accident, it is comfortable and has a surprisingly nice build quality.
To sum everything up I want to recommend this device to my fellow university students and professionals that want to organize and accelerate their life of text. I can't find anything wrong with this device for the price that I paid and I am certainly now a proud member of the electronic literature community.
For those who are still skeptics of the idea; don't knock it 'till you've tried it.

One More Month

2011-01-23T17:46:00.001-05:00

I finally have my ticket to the Dropkick Murphys concert this February in Detroit.
It's going to be a hell of a reading week this year.

If you're not aware of who the Dropkick Murphys are I suggest you check out this video....

I have been wanting to see this band live since I was just a little guy.
I can't say much more about it. I am just so excited.
I hope to grab some sort of memories from the trip that I can share here. Stay tuned!

Delusional Memoirs of a Hipster

2011-01-20T12:23:00.001-05:00

Well well. Looks like I have found a moment out of my busy schedule to post something. Since I haven't posted in a while I thought that I would throw this one up to keep readers from getting bored.

I wrote this a while ago through facebook statuses. It represents how someone of the hipster renaissance might pick a fight or initiate an argument.

It was written spontaneously and purely represents my frustrations with hipsters. No other significance should be taken from this. Enjoy.

I've decided not to believe in santa. It's a personal choice. Maybe you too could help yourself from such mainstream infatuations this holiday season.

Such delusional diversions might be grounds for fisticuffs to prove some sort of status of intellectual superiority. For my fantastical philosophies -- albethey mundane -- are the truth; and if we hesitate to come to an accord on this you are subject to both my unnecessary youthful rage and nonsensical prejudice. Though I say we as in you and I, (in the context of an agreement) I mean you, only your ability to conform to my anal perspectives.

Or perhaps my arrogance will prove to be of some mockery to the masses. In said case, any publicity is good publicity and though I may not illustrate it in my orations or manuscripts, I have a sincere affection with the attention that you hath given me.

In the assumption that you have read to this point, I endow you with my praise that you have taken the time to make a spectacle of my doctrines. With that said, I shall engage in further discourse to plead for my logic in dress.

Pants hemmed... at from the waist to the ankle in a taper that of More's Utopia are not brandished for elegance or panache but simply for the pursuit of contentment by comfort.

Garments of plaid, suede, or lace donned on the chest are a representation of a laissez-faire lifestyle that is allegorical to my method of reasoning in worldly affairs.

In regards to my earlier statement of fisticuffs: I retract that projections and instead substitute the idea that my physical exertion is worth neither my or your time for I will surely win based on experience of dueling others who disagreed with me.

I propose instead that we both write memoirs recounting our experiences with a. Santa and b. Immanuel Kant's empirical compromise (why, or why not it is an attempt at mainstream inculcation.) and how the two influence your wit to contest my brainpower.

Also, I nurse the wound of insolence that has caused me to become weak in the hands and lack the ability to engage in clenching a fist of anger and power.

I shall instead use the velvet hammer of debate yo once again prove my traits seen advantageous by natural selection. (a theorem I enjoy to my earthly extents)

More posts to come. See you soon!

Putin, Keepin' The Haters Out

2011-01-13T16:19:00.001-05:00

My job and studies have kept me from posting regularly. Just know this, dear readers. I think of you every day.
I literally (in the literal sense) only have 14 minutes before I have to leave for work so I am using this time to change, cook dinner, blog, and send emails.
Enjoy this addition to the list.
Even though their nation is full of HIDEOUS hockey players, they still ahve a pretty righteous leader.
Oh, enjoy the one with the 3D glasses too. Up with the ranks of old liz, I see.

Don't Buy This Book

2010-12-20T16:37:00.001-05:00

Attention! Students taking English 200A or other courses that require old British Literature. Don't be fooled by your professor in to buying a $70 compilation of writing that is out of copyright!
All of the texts that I studied from this book are available online for free!

I was VERY angry to learn that I was tricked in to buy this anthology as a "required" course material. As a student I struggle to afford text books. Honestly, they run behind rent, groceries, and tuition for that matter in my priority of expenses. I don't know why my professor would get up in front of the class and lie about choosing one text because it was "affordable". I'm sorry, but do you know how many potatoes you can buy with 70 dollars?
While studying I found that I could get all the stories and poems in this book for free. I will list them here.

Jane Austen - Pride and Prejudice - This is just the first source I found. P&P is probably the most duplicated text on the internet. It can be found for eReaders, in .pdfs, plain texts, html, anything! This wasn't in the anthology, it was to be purchased alone.
Complete works of John Donne - Not much to say here other than I feel robbed to buy an expensive book only to read a couple short love poems.
Complete works of George Herbert - again, same thing.
Sir Thomas More - Utopia - Great book. I'll admit that the anthology was in a more modern english but translations can be very easily found on the internet. Another VERY popular title.
Geoffrey Chaucer - Canterbury Tales - A great website devoted to the tales and the prologue. Complete with translations and illustrations!
Aphra Behn - Oroonoko - The complete story on one page.
William Shakespeare - King Lear - Even an educational source. How can you tell me that a book is better than this?

So that is everything I read for English 200A. I can't believe the prof would suggest we needed to buy the book of which she was a contributing editor. I feel that her choices were based of expediency rather than value to the students. For that I feel robbed. For 200B I will be doing my research and downloading my texts for FREE.
I am a starving student. I can't deal with this shit.

Final Opinion: Eats, Shoots, & Leaves

2010-12-15T22:16:00.003-05:00

IT'S RUBBISH.

Real Wishlist: Cars

2010-12-13T17:20:00.001-05:00

Here is a completely unfeasible wishlist for those wondering what I really want for christmas.
Today I will be doing cars. In no particular order I will show you the cars that I wish I could own. Or that you could get me for Christmas ^_^

1. MazdaSpeed 3

Sure, it is a plastic import car. However, this thing pushes 246 HP right out of the box with a turbo charged relative of the engine that I so much enjoyed over the summer in "my" '02 Protege.
I love this car. Very fast, inconspicuous, six speed manual, sexy.

2. Mazda Protege

I can't exclude the love of my life. The 2002 Mazda Protege is a nice car. Haters gonna hate, but this car will pull you in once you get to know it. It handles like a go-kart and accelerates like one too. Looks...ok. Seats five and has room for luggage? This car is awesome; I don't care what you say.

3. Audi Quattro (Rally)

This car is legen.....wait for it......dary. One of the most badass rally cars of its time. Sounds like a banshee, climbs like a mountain goat on cocaine, and looks...weird.

I honestly can't see this as being a good road car but would love to own one for hucking around some dirt roads up north.

Oh, it is hellishly fast too.

4. Ford Mustang GT

I see one of these every day on my way to class and stare at it every time. One of the best looking mustangs yet in my humble opinion. It has the legendary 5.0L V8 engine and an awesome 6-speed manual. Can't go wrong with this. Fast, good looking, chick magnet!

5. Mercedes Benz C63 AMG

You should all be aware by now how much I love this car. Plain and simple, the idea of a massive V8 in a sleeper sedan shell just tickles my fancy. It isn't good looking by any means but if you have seen the videos of F1 Champion Lewis Hamilton throwing it around the track, you'll understand. Subsequently, this was also the same car he was driving when he was arrested for 'hooning' in Australia. Go Lewis!

6. BMW E92 M3

This one is interchangeable with the C63. The only difference is the amount of doors and the amount of history behind it. Oh, and this one comes with a true 6-speed manual. Probably the best looking M3 yet, some will argue though that it isn't the best. This model uses a V8 instead of the awesome straight six that propelled the previous models to legendary status. Either way, it looks good, and goes fast so I like it!

7. Mercedes Benz SLS AMG GT3

So get this. Mercedes has this race car that any one can buy and race. That is, if they have the money. The SLS GT3 is a stripped down version of the SLS AMG which is already awesome to begin with. This version is race ready and features some technology seen on the most advances race cars out there. Mind you, tires for this thing are about $10,000 for the set so I don't think it will make a great daily driver. But who says I'm too old to start a race career?

8. McLaren F1

Ok, call it wishful thinking (it's a wishlist, duh) but I had to include it. It is the (former) fastest road going car in the world! I dreamed of owning one of these since I first played it in video games about a decade ago. This car is divine! Though, I wouldn't get it in orange if I had the choice.

9. 1970 Chevelle SS

Exactly the one in the picture. I love this car to death. Only change that I might like would be a nice gaping hole in the bonnet for a supercharger. Screw practicality. If you saw this car in your rear view mirror you would know what it stands for. And the sound, oh the sound is something to die for.

10. Lancia Stratos

This car defines legendary. Ultra short wheelbase, ferarri engine, wild looks. I would love to take this thing out for a mountain climb. Jeremy Clarkson said it might just be one of the best cars in the world. Ignoring the fact that some awkward leg touching takes place when shifting gears, I might agree. I think it would be next to impossible to import one to Canada, so if you're thinking of this one, I hope you have lots of money!

Well there you have it, ten cars I want. A lot of procrastination as I am realizing now! Thanks!

Scorching Irony

2010-12-13T16:31:00.001-05:00

Chinua Achebe

Today I want to post another essay that was done for school. To be vague, it was a class that involves criticism.

But first I want to answer a question that a few readers have asked. Some of you wonder why I post my school work on here.

The answer is relatively simple. I spend days reading, researching, and writing essays only to hand them in to be marked and forgotten. A high school teacher of mine told me to always be proud of the work that I sign my name to. Since I put so much work in to these essays I only find it appropriate that they be read by more than just my professor. While some scholars may look down on distributing school work online, I most fervently disagree. It's my work, I'll do what I want with it. I had some trouble with this "rebelious" idea in high school once. Thus the wise words from my teacher.

Anyways, I hope that clears the air on that issue.

This paper is about the story Vengeful Creditor by Chinua Achebe. It is of the post colonial genre (so they say) which is one that I am quite fond of. The essay talks about the significance of irony in the story and its relation to the author's intent. While it is a dead simple topic, I go in to some deep ideas about how it works.

Something that sets this paper apart from others is that I actually liked the story. This helped me get my thoughts out in to palatable discourse rather than academic nonsense.

If you walk away feeling like you haven't learned anything form this paper; well then I haven't done my job. I hope you enjoy the idea that I project and consider it the next time you discover the peculiarities of irony.

Enjoy.

Chinua Achebe’s Scorching Irony as Catalyst in Vengeful Creditor

Frederick Douglass knew all too well about a prejudiced society like the one in Chinua Achebe’s short story titled Vengeful Creditor. He said, “At a time like this, scorching irony, not convincing argument, is needed.” (The Hypocrisy Of American Slavery, 1854) Achebe understands this principle as a means to rectify the complex situation in Africa because in Vengeful Creditor, irony plays a significant role as catalyst. This catalyst assists the reader in finding out secret and new ideas on the topic of how post-colonial society in Africa functions as a perpetual paradox.
    If it was not for irony, the rhetoric of Chinua Achebe’s story would not be prevalent. The introduction of imbalanced ideas warrants for an investigation by the reader to figure out why these ideas do not make sense. For example, throughout Vengeful Creditor the reader is provided with some obvious ironies. Achebe calls someone a “forty-year-old boy”, Mrs. Emenike drives a Mercedes Benz in Africa, free education is suppressed by the educated, and even the title can pose an ironic situation. The most effective bit of irony (although not the most obvious) is the newspaper being called the New Age. This title is ironic because it describes an age that Achebe’s ambiguous African country has not yet reached. For a country to be in the “New Age” they would not be one that is corrupt and condemning of advancement. This is the central moral that Achebe is trying to transmit; there is a crooked government and society that sub-consciously believes in the self-preservation of a hindering stasis of society. Just like Frederick Douglass, Achebe sees that using irony to implant this idea in to the reader is much more effective than just projecting it plainly. He uses irony in a brilliantly effective and rhetorical way.
    As noted earlier, the initial ironies in Vengeful Creditor create a sense of imbalance. This imbalance leads to the reader realizing the Achebe’s intent. You can understand how this happens when considering Jean Piaget’s theory of Constructivism. When a developing mind forms what Piaget called a schema (a mental representation of an associated set of perceptions, ideas, and/or actions), it experiences a state disequilibration whereby external stimulus does not line up with the minds internal structure. (Bhattacharya, 2001) In Achebe’s case, we can consider that he wants to alter a set of presumptions, and to do this he disequilibrates the mind with irony. When the reader notices that maybe the newspaper should not be called the New Age since there are no conventions of a new age present, they begin to recognize the discrepancies that make Achebe’s point all the more relevant.
    It is one thing to recognize the irony in Vengeful Creditor, but another to actually understand it. One could read this story and have a basic idea of the corruption in the government, but not fully realize why it happens. Achebe reinforces irony with how he describes the suppression of free education. There is an idea of self-preservation that is prevalent in Vengeful Creditor. This idea can be seen in the governments reluctance to fund free education. It is paradoxical that the government would want to stop funding free primary education in the villages. Achebe presents high society’s reasoning for their dislike of free education in a rather ironic way too. The ironic New Age facilitated criticism of free primary with articles by “responsible citizens—lawyers, doctors, merchants, engineers, salesmen, insurance brokers, university lecturers, etc.’’. This makes the reader wonder two things. Why are the educated against education, and why are they criticizing it in a medium that caters to their own status? This is the sort of investigation that Achebe’s irony deserves. Furthermore, the twisted ideals of high society are reflected in the confusing characters of Mr. And Mrs. Emenike. First of all, it is most ironic that the Emenikes condemn paying high tax dollars for free primary when they already pay to keep those in need of education employed at their house. This hypocrisy, combined with the idea of self-preservation in the government exemplifies how African society functions as a perpetual paradox. However, without irony, that is hard to see.
    The Emenikes catalyze the notion of false virtues with their confusing values. First of all, Mr. Emenike displays a clear reliance on magic instead of human potential. His “belief is that a child who will be somebody will be somebody whether he goes to school or not. It is all written here, in the palm of the hand.” He also plainly thinks that sending Martha’s daughter to school “was only a matter of speaking.” Likewise, his wife is the picture of irony because she is a “Social Welfare Officer and she knows what it means to care for children.” This lie is amplified when she beats her “Little Madamme” with a whip, clearly she does not care about their welfare whatsoever. Mrs. Emenike mirrors the cruelty of the government with her intimidation of “Little Madamme”. It is ironic that in warning Vero about the toxicity of red ink, she is really just catalyzing the the hypocrisy that she is annoyed with in the first place. Learning of the dangers of red ink, Vero tries to kill Goddy so that she can get free primary. Just like Mrs. Emenike scares Vero in to her ludicrous actions, so does the government scare the masses of poor villagers in to perpetually. “That did it, she thought in glowing self-satisfaction. She could see that Vero was suitably frightened.” Both Mrs. Emenike and the government can be proud with a little bit of cruel scare-tactics.
    With this disclosure of situational irony comes the most important part, understanding. You can think of the title, Vengeful Creditor as a concise way to realize what Chinua Achebe is trying to convey. A creditor would be somebody to whom one owes services or money. However, a vengeful creditor would be one that seeks revenge. A vengeful creditor is an incongruent title since it connotes a paradoxical state. If a creditor is owed something, why are the seeking retribution at the same time? Disequilibrated, the reader must consider this idea in the context of Achebe’s story and ask themselves who the creditor is. In this case it could be either the high or suppressed society. Next the reader needs to consider the vengeance, it could be hatred towards the government or the lower class. There are many definitions to this title. However, with the ironic evidence given by Chinua Achebe and the reader’s cunning ability to construct and discover new ideas, hopefully they can decipher the Vengeful Creditor.

Works Cited
Achebe, Chinua. "Vengeful Creditor." 1973. Comp. Dead Baldwin. The Riverside Anthology Of     Short Fiction: Convention And Innovation. Boston: Houghton Mifflin, 1998. 926-38.     Print.

Bhattacharya, K.& Han, S.. "Piaget and Cognitive Development." Emerging Perspectives     on Learning, Teaching, and Technology. Department of Educational Psychology and     Instructional Technology, University of Georgia, 2001. Web.
    .

Douglass, Frederick. The Hypocrisy Of American Slavery. 1854. Internet Modern History     Sourcebook. Fordham University, Aug. 1997. Web. 1 Dec. 2010.
    .

Peace, Clinton

2010-12-11T14:08:00.001-05:00

Here's another one for the list.
Obama ditches Bill Clinton during some speech about something or another so that he can go chill with the first lady. Oh no you didn't.
If anyone can tell me what Bill was going on about, I will be most appreciative.
Sympathy shout out to Bill for hanging in there. I especially like the innocent "Help me!" as Barack peaces out.
Damn I hope that was a good party. Here's the video.

Back Soon

2010-12-10T12:57:00.001-05:00

It is officially exam season so don't expect any posts of particular importance. Anything that I do post will have been written in advance and put here out of pure procrastination.
Wish me luck.
See you soon.
-ev

Now THAT'S a Shirt!

2010-12-05T17:57:00.000-05:00

Lakehead Engineering are funny guys.
I am wondering though, how did Moe let me take arts?
I think there's a lot we don't know about Moe.
P.S. just want to note that he is rockin' the jays hat that I gave him this summer. It was the trunk ornament on the tercel. Aww yeah.....

Slacktivism: A Rant

2010-12-05T17:44:00.001-05:00

Seems like I don't have to procrastinate anymore since I've got other people doing it for me. Today I've got another fantastic article by Zak Farow regarding slacktivism, the new rage.

I threw up my favourite cartoon character from my childhood not to be a slacktivist, but for the pure irony.

After reading Zak's rant you might want o think twice about mimicking me.

Zak Farow - Dec. 5, 2010

While I don’t really consider myself to be truly misanthropic; there are moments where people do things that make me lose a little of my faith in humanity. The issue that has made feel this way recently has good intentions. But it is its execution which bothers me. I don’t feel that it goes far enough.
This issue is the act known as “slacktivism”. Slacktivism is when people invest themselves in an issue by doing virtually nothing for it other than raise a negligible amount of awareness. Examples of slacktivism are the placing of bumper stickers on cars, wearing a ‘live strong’ bracelet, and the ever popular Facebook activism. I would consider the latter to be the most irksome form of slacktivism.
Most of these acts only serve the purpose of making the slacktivist feel better about themselves. A recent trend amongst Facebook users is to replace their profile picture with the image of a childhood cartoon character. The idea behind this was to support the issue of stopping violence committed against children. While I am by no means a fan of child abuse, I would even be so bold as to say I don’t care for it, I can’t help but feel that these good intentions are ineffective.
What exactly comes from these “acts of charity?” I find it unlikely that an abusive father would see a picture of Pikachu from Pokémon and be convinced that maybe he should no longer hit his child. Yet this is what passes for charity for my generation. A similar thing occurred a few months prior, women were asked to write the colour of the bra they were wearing on their Facebook status, an act supposedly linked to raising awareness for breast cancer.
Don’t get me wrong; I do believe in raising awareness for issues. But I would hardly consider Facebook an effective method of facilitating any form of significant social change. There are so many better ways for one to participate in charities. You can volunteer your time, donate some money, or help sponsor a person and/or an event. It seems to me that a great deal of people who participate in slacktivism are not doing it for the cause at all. When I asked an acquaintance of mine why she had changed her Facebook picture the response I heard seemed like a relatively popular answer, “I did it because everyone else was doing it.”

--

Thanks again Zak. Remember, if anyone would like some intellectual property put up on the site, just shoot me an email at evan@ehdtstudios.com and I'll take a look. Cheers.

Are You There God? It's me, Woody!

2010-12-04T20:35:00.003-05:00

Today's article is a by guest writer Zak Farow about an interesting allegory of Toy Story and Religion. Enjoy.
And if you want any of your own material put on the site, man-up like Zak did and send it to me!

     I guess I should start off by saying that I am by no stretch of the imagination a religious man. But I could not help but notice that there were a lot of religious ideas spread throughout this film. This actually didn't detract from this movie at all, and it also enhanced my viewing experience. Sitting in the movie theatre with my other nerdy university going friends we had plenty of fun pointing out the allegory and then discussing the philosophy of Toy Story (Yeah Us!) So let me begin.

     Firstly, Andy is obviously god, no question about it. At the start of the movie it has been years since he's played with all the toys, and Woody and the gang are all waiting for his second coming to play with them. Also note Andy is going to college in 3 days at the start of the film.

     The attic represents the promised land. The space set aside for them by god so that the toys can be together. But then the mom assumes they are trash and then the toys all go hide in the Sunnydale box waiting for donations. Woody, who represents the prophet of his people, tries to convince them that one day Andy will return and play with them but the other toys refuse to hear this message. So in a sense for not "believing" they are sent to Sunnydale (purgatory) They start off in the lowest form of purgatory and want to work their way into the other room where the kids are nicer.

     Moving on later in the story during their quest to return to the promised land (attic),the toys are sent to the landfill. Lotso betrays them and they are about to be sent in to the incinerator. Now at this point the Landfill obviously represents hell and the flames are the fires of perdition. At the last second a giant claw (the hand of god) comes down to save them. And what happens to Lotso for his betrayal? He is strung up to the front of a truck in an image that reminds one of crucifixion.

     So now the toys have arrived at their home. They are all getting packed in to the attic box as Woody goes into the college box. And just like Moses, Woody is ready to never see the Promised Land. But at the last second Woody writes a note to Andy to convince him to donate the toys. Now keep in mind in this film Woody is the only toy who communicates with Andy just like Moses is the only prophet who had a conversation with god.

     In the end Andy donates the toys to Bonnie. What does Bonnie represent then? Well if the prophet never gets to see his people in the promised land then where does he see them... why in heaven of course. Bonnie is the paradise they wanted; another child in a different form who will play and love them as much as Andy did. You can also look at Bonnie as a sort of "the meek shall inherit the earth" type of thing. And of course the last shot of the film is the toys with Bonnie and then the camera pans up to the clouds finally confirms that they are in fact in heaven.

Many thanks to Zak!

EHDT Tracks Vol. 4

2010-12-02T15:21:00.001-05:00

This isn't the much anticipated "ski playlist" that many of you have asked about. That's comnig up next round.
Today I am featuring some songs that will literally blow your mind. At this point I a still picking up pieces of my brain off the floor. Cereal.
A bunch of these songs were recommendations from various readers. Many thanks to them!
Exams are a difficult time. Music always seems to be my vice during hell-week whether it is listening, playing the guitar, djing (is that a verb?), or finding new music to distract me.
I try to find music that will help me relax, but it usually ends up relaxing so much that I forget to study. I find that I get more interested and passionate about music this time of year. When my brain procrastinates it makes all the side activities ten-times better. I clean my house more thoroughly, I do more laundry, take longer showers, learn more complicated guitar riffs, and most of all, enjoy music more.
I'm not saying that this enjoyment is false in any sense. I still love these songs as much as I would if I had discovered them on any other occasion. I just learn to love them faster.

Anyways, enough with the jibber-jabber (never used this term before), let's get to the tracks.

No Cars Go - Maxence Cyrin (Arcade Fire Cover)
First of all, I love contemporary piano. Second of all, I sort of like Arcade Fire. Combine the two and I'm on my knees. There is a God, a musical God. His gifts are from the 2010 album Novo Piano. Rejoice and enjoy the musical bliss of Maxence Cyrin!

Lithium - Maxence Cyrin (Nirvana Cover)
Normally I don't like to do double entries of an artist for my track lists. I just had to feature Maxence again because he covered one of my favourite songs of ALL TIME. I think he did it justice no? By the way, he also covers Justice.

The Great Gig In The Sky - Pink Floyd
I can't decide whether this is a chill out, or rock out song. One side of me wants to turn off my lights and drink myself to sleep, the other wants to break glass and yell. I don't know many bands that can do this. Great song.

Comfortably Numb - Pink Floyd
Another double, but I'm not complaining. This song makes me think of how when I sit around avoiding work, I can comfortably enjoy the most mundane activities that keep me from something stimulating. A strange irony.

Hello Time Bomb (Acoustic) - Matthew Good
I can't find this song on youtube. I want you to go out and find Matt God's album In A Coma and listen to the acoustic version of Hello Time Bomb. It took me so very long to get in to this track; but once I did, it blew my mind.

Optimistic - Radiohead
I am trying to bombard my senses with this song. It isn't hard really, since it is such a great song. The reason why I am listening to it so much is because we are covering it in my Criticism course. Yes, that class is as awesome as it sounds, and worth every dime.

Quiet Little Voice - We Were Promised Jetpacks
A good song by a band that I've just very recently heard of. Nothing really special here, just a good song to listen to at the end of the day. Has some great breaks and backing vocals. Love the band's name too.

For you party-holics out there, check out this set by DJ Flash for some pretty fresh house music. (I couldn't forget you)

The Black Keys - Tighten Up
Had to include the video for this one. Not only is it a wicked song, it has a pretty unique video. My favourite part is the distorted guitar solo at the end.

Fool In The Rain - Led Zeppelin
Last one is a cliffhanger for me. I haven't had a huge amount of time to listen to it really well but so far I like what I'm hearing. It is a suggestion from a really talented musician. Rock on.

No, you didn't answer my question.

2010-12-02T09:11:00.001-05:00

I have been having some very upsetting email exchanges with various companies over the past few days. To name just a few; flickr, The University Of Waterloo. Anyways, my most recent one is with Amazon. See, I want to buy one of their Kindles. Or as they say in emails "Kindle" products.
Thing is, they don't supply it anywhere outside the US. Thus, you have to go through some seemingly uber-complicated shipping process which takes 7-9 weeks. With that I decided that I wasn't going to buy one. So I emailed Amazon and asked them, only to get the worst reply ever. I get many things like this so I am used to it, this one just particularly picked my nerves.

Thank you for writing to us at Amazon.ca. 
I'm sorry, but "kindle" is currently not available through our Canadian web site. 
If an item is not currently listed on Amazon.ca, then we do not have any further information about the item at this time. 
However, I have passed your message about your interest in "Kindle" to the appropriate people in our company for their consideration. It is always important for us to hear how customers react to all aspects of shopping at Amazon.ca. 
Amazon Kindle and associated digital content can be purchased on Amazon.com. 
For more information about purchasing kindle and regarding delivery time, I request you to contact our partner site Amazon.com using the following link.
https://www.amazon.com/gp/help/contact-us/general-questions.html
Our international websites operate independently of each other and don't share order information or customer service representatives. 
We are always expanding our selection, so you may want to check back occasionally to see if we have added kindle to our offerings. Any updated information we have will be listed on the website as soon as it is available.

I'm sorry again for not being able to provide you further help.
Thank you for your interest in Amazon.ca.
Did we answer your question?
If yes, please click here:
http://www.amazon.ca/rsvp-y?c=hdetcrfc3233758309
If not, please click here:
http://www.amazon.ca/rsvp-n?c=hdetcrfc3233758309&q=caff
Please note: this e-mail was sent from an address that cannot accept incoming e-mail. 
To contact us about an unrelated issue, please visit the Help section of our web site.

Best regards,

I really want to send a reply going something like this;

Dear Kindle Employee,

I know you know the answer to my question. Why can't you just answer it?

Forget all that cor[orate bullshit you have to do. Just stop being a prick and answer it.

I don't understand why someone in Buffalo, NY can get theirs in 1-3 days when on the other side of the border it takes 7-9 weeks. YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT.

I don't think I'll get very far with emails like that.

I guess Amazon thinks they will though. Their bullshit automated responses and conventional template replies are just as insulting as nothing at all.

If any Amerifriends want to order one and ship it up to me, I would be most appreciative.

Also, if anyone knows where I can get one through another source than Amazon, hook me up.

-Ev

Comics In School Again

2010-12-01T21:49:00.001-05:00

Click here to enlarge.

You may all remember that time I drew out a Calvin and Hobbes comic for my 12th grade philosophy exam. I'll post it below if you haven't Basically, I was going to fail the exam and I wrote this comic explaining in some basic terms why I didn't really care. It was actually sort of an answer to one of the questions. Anyways, I passed that exam due to that comic. Apparently my scary "major in the military" philosophy teacher liked Calvin and Hobbes.
So last week I was confused as to why I was asked to draw a comic for my "Contemporary Issues in Writing, Rhetoric, and Literature" course. Apparently this prof is a big comic junkie too.
The comic had to make some note of how visual elements led the reader along the plot to understand a final outcome (or something sappy like that). It could be on anything, so feeling inspired by Dead Philosophers In Heaven I whipped together something involving two of my favourite dudes; Karl Marx and Frederich Nietzsche!
The comic really has no point other than to poke fun at philosophy and funny philosophy hair-dos/facial hair.
To my surprise, my prof really liked this comic and asked if I wanted to say anything about it to the class. My confident response was simply "I don't have much to say about my comic."
If you're wondering, I drew everything freehand but obviously copied some portraits and already awesome comic slides from the fantastic Philosophy For Beginners, a really great comic book describing anything you would want to know about basic philosophy.
Here is a photo of my famous Calvin and Hobbes Comic. As you can tell, I don't have the knack for comic plot lines and really just write senseless blabber. But that's what comics are to me anyways, so whatevs, yo.

Engineering 5: Some Photos

2010-12-01T13:39:00.000-05:00

I was really excited to get inside the new Engineering building at The University of Waterloo. Just opened this year, it features some incredible architecture and spaces. At night it lights up with a cool blue glow and during the day it reflects the sky off its glass walls. Pretty neat. Everything inside has the name of the person that sponsored it. Even the clocks.
Here's a slideshow. I finally got back on to my flickr account after a little debacle regarding my login.
Enjoy.

Don't Let This Picture Fool You

2010-12-01T12:43:00.001-05:00

It's not what you think...

Vlad is a badass; we all know this. So I was stumped when I saw this photo of him bowling. Sure, he's got great form and that is probably a ball full of dynamite, but come on! I was starting to think Putin was slipping down the list.
But then I saw this...

Yeah, that's right, Putin is a black belt in Judo. What's more, he published an instructional book and dvd about Judo! What's even more, he offered to take part in the Russian Olympic Judo Team! As a former Judo athlete myself, I must say that I admire Putin's strength and tenacity. Judo is a really tough art and would be difficult to juggle while being the president of Russia. I guess he learned it as a spy with the KGB, which is also awesome.

So don't let that photo fool you in to thinking Putin as settled for some more age-suiting activities. He is still a badass judo fighting, whale shooting, tiger saving dude in my books. And you should all be subject to my books, comrades.

Here are some more badass photos.

Back to studying!

Innovative?

2010-11-29T12:48:00.002-05:00

A certain UW prof of mine comes to class every day seeming like she is high as a kite. Now I don't want to assume too much but when she slurs her words, zones out for 30 seconds, says "like" before each sentence; it is pretty convincing. Most of the stuff she says is also bullshit and not worth my time.

However, this morning she put the status quo at Waterloo in to good context.
Upon discussing our final exam she said not to use the word innovate. This was in regard to conventions in a certain period of literature that I won't mention. (Could I get expelled for calling my prof a junkie?)
Anyways, she obviously hates the term innovate. This is probably because the university bombards the slogan, "INNOVATE" to its staff and students about 30 times a day. Not to mention the people driving down University Ave. From my vantage point I can actually see the word innovate in five unique places. I won't let you know where that is. I also fear snipers.
Moving along. This prof jokingly said that in working for UW, you must sign a contract declaring that you will say INNOVATIVE at least 10 times a week. Oh, and EXCELLENCE is to be said 5 times a week.
I have heard a few profs poke fun at this new advertising campaign. I wonder what they all think about it since it usually pops up in a mocking or satirical tone.
Personally, I think that it is a slight waste of money since innovative is a really rubbish word. Also, the university is only "innovative" in the sense that it currently has half of the campus under construction. One of the buildings might get a Starbucks. Ooohhh, innovative. While engineers get shiny new buildings with state of the art technology and architecture; arts students suffer with squeaky chairs and brutalist buildings. Engineers and business students get amazing paid co-op opportunities where they can actually travel and work in their field. I had to take a course on how to develop my career. It was taught by a masters student.
It seems like more and more students are complaining about their half-ass PhD candidate profs and masters student TAs that can't mark to save their lives. Engineers get it rough too. UW employs lots of cheap foreign PhDs that can barely speak English. I guess saving money is their idea of innovation.
This is a stretch, but I think UW's advertising campaign is like political propaganda. It all seems squeaky-clean and wonderful but on the inside there are lies, lies, lies.
I am bitter because I pay a nonsensical amount of money to come here and get fucked by the establishment. I think my prof is mocking it because she knows that our presence here is for profit only.
I may be under some youthful illusion, and I am procrastinating; but that's my two cents on how UW is being "innovative."

Damn Obama, You're Killin' It!

2010-11-26T12:46:00.001-05:00

Obama likes to steal the show. Let me remind you about that time in 2008 when he, you know, won the presidential election and all that.
First of all before I go any further. Shout out to Amelia for linking me on this photo. She heard that letting me know about these photos will earn her mega-respect. And she gets that respect; and you could too.
Anyways, this is a great photo since Obama is clearly check out some booty, I have to admit though, I like Nicolas Sarkozy better since he's got that ridiculous look on his face. Hopefully Sarkozy can make it on to the list soon enough. If I have more friends that are as awesome as Amelia, maybe he will!

Okay Obama, you made it.

2010-11-25T02:26:00.001-05:00

I don't know what sick and twisted ritual this is but Obama has finally made it to the list. He must have found out that I demoted him for being made out of wax in his other turkey photo. Now here we have a real-life Barack petting a turkey.
Even thought Americans have turned their thanksgiving in to a corporate shopping-fest it is nice to know there is still time for even the president to kick back and molest some fowl.
If anyone could let me know who the dweeb standing beside him is I would be most appreciative.
Canada is still counting on Harper to make it to my renowned list. Let's hope he steps up his game next October.

Palin Makes It To The List

2010-11-23T16:53:00.001-05:00

You Betcha. Sarah Palin may be mildly retarded but that doesn't mean she can't be a badass. Any politician toting a firearm can make it on the list. Especially if you're Dale Peterson.
Her show sucks but it is a good laugh especially if you're a Canadian who finds juxtaposing Americans and snow hilarious.
Strangely enough, Stephen Harper has yet to make it to the list. Wonder why.
Oh yeah, you may of noticed that I am stealing images from Gawker.com. Could be worse though, I could be a university that sources amateur blogs. Cough cough.

What is the horror?

2010-11-23T12:54:00.001-05:00

This is my best damn guess at "The Horror" from Heart of Darkness. Again, this is a crappy paper that I wrote for some English class that I wanted to get out before I deleted it. Surprisingly, the prof. actually liked this one so I think it may have some sort of credibility. I've studied Heat Of Darkness in two English courses now and it seems like people don't even want to touch the horror anymore. I wonder if it because I am supposed to know already; or if it is too much of a frivolous question. Either way, here is a good way of describing it for those who don't know. Enjoy.

"The horror. The horror" -- the most powerful phrase from Joseph Conrad’s Heart Of Darkness -- is one that invokes numerous anomalous notions for both reader and the characters within the text.
    Conrad’s novella is difficult to read in more than one way. Most evidently, its late nineteenth century style -- the kind that frequently incorporates strange old english and bizarre sentence structure -- typically induces confusion amongst modern readers. Although, today’s audience has a great advantage-- for being able to comprehend such texts while exerting actual effort to absorb them allows for a systematic analysis of each fragment of a sentence. This in turn helps in trying to solve Conrad’s ubiquitous puzzles and enigmas -- specifically, that of “the horror.” “The horror” is a prime example of a cliffhanger. Occurring at the end of the novella, it infuriates the reader enough to raise them to a level of passionate inquisitiveness. Imagine for a moment if Conrad had placed that phrase somewhere else in Kurtz’s dialogues. “The horror”, although still mysterious, would probably be played off as a useless rambling from the peculiar old man. Placing “The horror” at the conclusion -- specifically at the demise of Kurtz creates the ideal scenario for reader. Conrad has literally painted a picture with one missing feature. The question is; what is the missing feature? A person? Landscape? Colour? And why would one paint such an epic masterpiece and leave it unfinished?
    Think for a minute about Kurtz, particularly about what he stood for. A dubious man who self anthropomorphized himself in his reign on the Congo to the level of a demigod -- he had seen and done it all. While his reign wasn’t particularly triumphant, Kurtz did evolve ethically during his decline to the ultimate low where he had nothing to do but let go of his grip on colonialism. However, Kurtz is a stubborn old bugger who wasn’t too particular about fading away. For he had something to say! Something so futilely enigmatic and parasitic that would cling onto society so tight that it would subject Kurtz’s shady legacy to immortality. That’s exactly what he intended -- and his host was the loyal and naive Marlow who would indefinitely carry on the disease to Europe.
    Upon arrival in Europe, Marlow’s outside perspective of Kurtz’s doings got the best of him and he to underwent an ethical evolution. For Marlow, “The horror” is just as much of a mystery as it is to the reader. Dumbfounded upon hearing it, he too contemplates its meaning. Upon reaching Kurtz’s intended, Marlow has an epiphany that seals the deal on his bond with Kurtz. He lies to the intended because he has acquired the stubbornness of old Kurtz. Revealing to her Kurtz’s final words would prompt closure and an end to Kurtz’s legacy -- not on Marlow’s watch.
    Simply put, “The horror” is a segue. “The horror” effectively transmits ideas from character to character, and from character to reader. The important part to remember is that you can’t paint a segue. Conrad painted this masterpiece and left out a key feature so that its obscurity would raise questioning to its absence -- ultimately conveying the meaning of the text not though simple observation, but through careful thought. The tricky bastard...

Obama tries...fails. Or does he?

2010-11-23T11:53:00.003-05:00

Looks like Barack Obama is trying to hop on the "awesome politician" bandwagon. Though, after close analysis it is obvious that this turkey is FAKE!
Kidding, that's a wax Obama with a live turkey.
So what's the deal Barack? Too worried that that turkey could contain a deadly virus so you imposed your wax double instead?
Shame man, you could really be the likes of Putin and Windsor if you just tried.
I will continue to post hilarious photos of politicians as they become available. Or until I find a better use for my time. Much love.

EHDT Tracks Vol. 3

2010-11-22T21:14:00.005-05:00

Today's list is going to knock your socks off. That is, if you're wearing socks. If you're not, that's okay.

I go through phases with music. One month I could listen to all hip-hop; the next might be all techno. This month is rock and roll, my all time favourite.

Not all of these tracks are new on the scene but they are all beautiful in one way or another.

November is that time of year when after studying for hours you'd rather stay inside and jam with a cup of tea than go outside in the irritating weather. I think that is a theme for this playlist. November jams.

Speaking of which, if anyone has any homemade jams (the fruit kind) now would be the time to mail them to me. I don't get out much in November.

Anyways, on with the tracks.

I And Love And You - The Avett Brothers

Intentional grammar mistake! Poetic! Pretty popular song for good reason. Really digging the piano and harmonious vocals. I don't dig the hipster beards that these guys rock -- but whatever -- good music.

Blue Skies - Noah and The Whale

Pretty unique vocals. I am really picky about vocals (you may have noticed) and this song happens to cut it for me. This band has some other great stuff! This song is just perfect for the November blues.

The Tallest Man On Earth - The Gardener

Okay so maybe these vocals don't do it for me but this song is very fun. This guy plays a lot of great folk and has some nifty riffs for his guitar.

Flaws - Bombay Bicycle Club

Wicked good riffs in this one. The video is very cool especially if you want to learn how to play said riffs!

Wagon Wheel - Old Crow Medicine Show

Definitely my favourite right now. Already mastered it on the guitar. Won't drop names (name dropping is cruel if they don't know) but shout OUT to the person that showed me this group. I am most gracious. This is actually a Dyaln cover (probably why I love it so) re-done in a bluegrass style by this Nashville group. Love love love looooveee playing this song with the harmonica. Capo on 2, harp of A, sounds deadly. Enjoy, please.

Neighbor - Band Of Horses

I've heard of Band Of Horses before but wasn't really in to their style (or so I thought) Then I realized that their newest album sounds like Wintersleep and Blitzen Trapper had a beautiful child. If you want to talk to me about vocals, talk to me about Neighbor. Awesome.

Eventually We Find Our Way - Trent Reznor & Atticus Ross

Right out of The Social Network (which I thought was great) this song is eerie to say the least. Totally my "skateboard through the RIM parking lots at 1:00am song."

Down Home Girl - Old Crow Medicine Show

Another Old Crow Song? Yeah, another cover. This time The Rolling Stones! This one is slow and badass, like Vladimir Putin. Note, the track I posted is of the video so there is some confusion in the beginning, stay tuned.

Yemele - Sergio Mendes (Chuckie Remix)

Okay I can't go a whole post without some funky house music. This one is a BANGER from Chuckie. Remixing some old shit. Love the conga drums.

Barbra Streisand - Duck Sauce

Oh snap, looks like the rest of this post might stay funky. This track is pretty large right now probably because of its fun video. Can't say A-Trak didn't have a hand in this.

Sound Of Violence (Main Mix) - Dennis de Laat

Another one from The Social Network. Awesome bass if you've got the right rig for it. Something to get me pumped up to work for 6 hours when I really don't want to. Oh, and Justin Timberlake has his moment during this song in the film. Check it out.

Turquoise 1:11 - Ubiquitous Synergy Seeker

So the last track is for those of you who want a freaky acid trip without the drugs. Like drum and bass and creepy accents? This one is for you. Terrifying speech in the background which my roommate and I spent tireless hours searching for online. Turns out it is some scary meditation CD. Ubiquitous Synergy Seeker really goes to work for their music!

Thanks everyone! I hope my next music phase turns out some cool new tracks. Until then; enjoy these.

Vladimir Putin Update #2

2010-11-22T19:03:00.003-05:00

STILL A BADASS
Yeah, that's right. Vlad got his groove on with some more endangered species. This time he wasn't shooting them. Instead he made gang signs beside adorable tiger cubs. Why? I don't know. I guess he wants to double their population or something.
This blog may very well turn in to a political gossip blog. At least, if Vlad continues to be awesome, it will.

Speaking of Eccentric Politicians...

2010-11-19T01:09:00.003-05:00

Well not really a politician.
Looks like the glorious British Empire has caught on to the "our dignitaries are fucking awesome" bandwagon.
Taking a few tips from Russia I see.
Liz looks smashing in 3D glasses but still nothing compared to Vladimir Putin in a race car.
Nice try monarchy, but until I see a photo of the queen holding a winchester rifle to hunt big game in the congo; I am not that convinced.
We'll mark this down as a boredom post. So-long.

EHDT Stickers

2010-11-15T15:50:00.003-05:00

Now you can have your very own EHDT stickers!
Ski season is rapidly approaching! Need something to compliment your bright yellow snow pants? Well I have just they thing for you. Fresh EHDT stickers! Well not actually. These are a pretty frugal approach. I went to the dollar store and bought a package of vinyl die-cut letters and used them to spell out EHDT on my helmet, laptops, etc... It worked out beautifully! If you want to rep EHDT (which I know you do) you can find these at pretty much any dollarama. If you can't get to a dollarama just send me a self addressed stamped envelope with 200 dollars in it and I can work something out.
To the EHDT crew back home. I know how bad you want these, patience.
Here are some ideas for placement of EHDT stickers (with their respective cred scores);
-Pets (10 points)
-Cars (5 Points)
-Mailbox (1 Point)
-Street signs (15 Points)
-Post Secondary Institution Buildings (must append a ...studios.com for this option, 200 Points)
-You parents (asleep=100 Points, awake=150 Points)
-Roommates (75 Points)
-Politicians (500 Points (except Harper, he doesn't deserve my gratitude)
-Other people's laptops (250 Points)

Winner gets nothing.

LOOK AT THIS!

2010-11-15T14:30:00.004-05:00

I think Vladimir Putin is a total B.A.M.F. Don't know what that is? Look it up, kids.
This photo reaffirms that opinion. He got this free dog for singing some shit about something or another.
In soviet Russia, you don't get puppy; glorious leader Vladimir Putin does!
This fascination with Vlad began with those hilarious photos of him on a shirtless, gun toting forest walk and his campaign to make the Russian people think he is awesome and adventurous. Other recommended photos to view include one of him shooting a whale with a crossbow, and another of him driving an F1 Renault. Oh, and check out www.vladimirputinactioncomics.com for more awesomeness.

Meat Cupcakes= My Life's Work

2010-11-15T12:39:00.001-05:00

I have figured a way to eat well and inexpensively. I came up with this idea when I was staring at some muffin tins and 7 pounds of ground beef that I had purchased at my beloved Sobeys.
Staring at bovine and tins? I do it a lot.
So I think to myself; why not make little tiny meatloaves that can be microwaved on the fly? That quickly escalated in to the ironic idea of a meat cupcake.
Here are my ultra basic instructions.
Ingredients:
-Some sort of ground meat, preferably from a grocery store. (Self butchering not recommended)
-Peas
-Carrots
-Peas n' Carrots perhaps...
-Potatoes (P.E.I. variety only people.)

Prep:
-Chop up some potatoes, peel em' if you like. Put them in a pot of water. (Not ginger ale, please)
-Take your ground meat and smush it in to some muffin tins. Add breadcrumbs and barbecue to taste (but don't taste the raw meat, please)
-Oven to 350, obviously.
-Find a way of getting peas and carrots. Theft is encouraged but only if done by the veil of darkness and a balaclava.

Execution:
-Boil those potatoes till they are soft
-Cook the meat-cakes in the oven till they reach 70C
-Mash those potatoes
-Spread the mashed potatoes on the meat-cakes and sprinkle some peas and carrots on top.

Microwave when desired, enjoy.

I know. I have created the best university meal ever. I can refrigerate them and have them with some five minute rice whenever I feel. In fact, I think I'll have that right now!
This is very cheap too; especially if you get the beef on sale.
Pro-Tip: Shopping at 9:00pm on a Saturday gets your the best deals. I once got a 1.1kg apple pie for $1.50!!!

Yum! ^_^

One Man Band

2010-11-15T11:45:00.001-05:00

Best six dollars I've ever spent! I can now play the harmonica and the guitar at the same time! All while looking like a total bad ass.
Anybody with a kazoo or banjo want to busk with me in uptown Waterloo? Working at the pub affords groceries but I wouldn't mind some side cash!

‘Too Asian’? - Canada - Macleans.ca

2010-11-10T16:55:00.005-05:00


PHOTOGRAPH BY ANDREW TOLSON/ SIMON HAYTER WWW.MACLEANS.CA

Check out this incredibly fascinating article that I was surprised to find on Macleans. Make sure you read all three pages. It isn't an exaggeration. Hard to know what to make of this...
UPDATE :
The article has recently been pulled from Macleans. Luckily the internet is cached and I have the full version right here.
UPDATE 2 :
The author's linkedin page can be found here. Along with contact information.
UPDATE 3:
The article is back up now. No idea why why it was taken down in the first place. Links in the comments. Thanks, all.

--

‘Too Asian’?

By Stephanie Findlay and Nicholas Kohler | November 10th, 2010 | 9:55 am

---

A term used in the U.S. to talk about racial imbalance at Ivy league schools is now being whispered on Canadian campuses.

When Alexandra and her friend Rachel, both graduates of Toronto’s Havergal College, an all-girls private school, were deciding which university to go to, they didn’t even bother considering the University of Toronto. “The only people from our school who went to U of T were Asian,” explains Alexandra, a second-year student who looks like a girl from an Aritzia billboard. “All the white kids,” she says, “go to Queen’s, Western and McGill.”

Alexandra eventually chose the University of Western Ontario. Her younger brother, now a high school senior deciding where he’d like to go, will head “either east, west or to McGill”—unusual academic options, but in keeping with what he wants from his university experience. “East would suit him because it’s chill, out west he could be a ski bum,” says Alexandra, who explains her little brother wants to study hard, but is also looking for a good time—which rules out U of T, a school with an academic reputation that can be a bit of a killjoy.

Or, as Alexandra puts it—she asked that her real name not be used in this article, and broached the topic of race at universities hesitantly—a “reputation of being Asian.”

Discussing the role that race plays in the self-selecting communities that more and more characterize university campuses makes many people uncomfortable. Still, an “Asian” school has come to mean one that is so academically focused that some students feel they can no longer compete or have fun. Indeed, Rachel, Alexandra and her brother belong to a growing cohort of student that’s eschewing some big-name schools over perceptions that they’re “too Asian.” It’s a term being used in some U.S. academic circles to describe a phenomenon that’s become such a cause for concern to university admissions officers and high school guidance counsellors that several elite universities to the south have faced scandals in recent years over limiting Asian applicants and keeping the numbers of white students artificially high.

Although university administrators here are loath to discuss the issue, students talk about it all the time. “Too Asian” is not about racism, say students like Alexandra: many white students simply believe that competing with Asians—both Asian Canadians and international students—requires a sacrifice of time and freedom they’re not willing to make. They complain that they can’t compete for spots in the best schools and can’t party as much as they’d like (too bad for them, most will say). Asian kids, meanwhile, say they are resented for taking the spots of white kids. “At graduation a Canadian—i.e. ‘white’—mother told me that I’m the reason her son didn’t get a space in university and that all the immigrants in the country are taking up university spots,” says Frankie Mao, a 22-year-old arts student at the University of British Columbia. “I knew it was wrong, being generalized in this category,” says Mao, “but f–k, I worked hard for it.”

That Asian students work harder is a fact born out by hard data. They tend to be strivers, high achievers and single-minded in their approach to university. Stephen Hsu, a physics prof at the University of Oregon who has written about the often subtle forms of discrimination faced by Asian-American university applicants, describes them as doing “disproportionately well—they tend to have high SAT scores, good grades in high school, and a lot of them really want to go to top universities.” In Canada, say Canadian high school guidance counsellors, that means the top-tier post-secondary institutions with international profiles specializing in math, science and business: U of T, UBC and the University of Waterloo. White students, by contrast, are more likely to choose universities and build their school lives around social interaction, athletics and self-actualization—and, yes, alcohol. When the two styles collide, the result is separation rather than integration.

The dilemma is this: Canadian institutions operate as pure meritocracies when it comes to admissions, and admirably so. Privately, however, many in the education community worry that universities risk becoming too skewed one way, changing campus life—a debate that’s been more or less out in the open in the U.S. for years but remains muted here. And that puts Canadian universities in a quandary. If they openly address the issue of race they expose themselves to criticisms that they are profiling and committing an injustice. If they don’t, Canada’s universities, far from the cultural mosaics they’re supposed to be—oases of dialogue, mutual understanding and diversity—risk becoming places of many solitudes, deserts of non-communication. It’s a tough question to have to think about.

Asian-Canadian students are far more likely to talk about and assert their ethnic identities than white students. “I’m Asian,” going back to Confucius, of social mobility based on merit.” Demographics contribute to the high degree of academic success among Asian- Canadian students. “Our highly selective immigration process means that we get many highly educated parents, so they have similar aspirations for their children,” says Robert Sweet, a retired Lakehead University education prof who has studied the parenting styles of immigrants as they relate to education. Sweet’s latest study, “Post-high school pathways of immigrant youth,” released last month, found that more than 70 per cent of students in the Toronto District School Board who immigrated from East Asia went on to university, compared to 52 per cent of Europeans, the next highest group, and 12 per cent of Caribbean, the lowest. This is in contrast to English-speaking Toronto students born in Canada—of which just 42 per cent confirmed admission to university.

Diane Bondy, a recently retired Ottawa area guidance counsellor, notes that by the end of her 20-year career, competition among some Asian parents had reached a fever pitch. “Asian parents do their homework and the students are going to U of T or they’re going to Queen’s,” says Bondy, who points out that “Asians get more support from their parents financially and academically.” She also observed that the focus on academics was often to the exclusion of social interaction. “The kids were getting 98 per cent but they didn’t have other skills,” she says. “Their parents would come in and write in the resumé letters that they were in clubs. But the kids weren’t able to do anything in those clubs because they were academically focused.” says 21-year-old Susie Su, a third-year student at UBC’s Sauder School of Business. “I do have traditional Asian parents. I feel the pressure of finding a good job and raising a good family.” That pressure helps shape more than just the way Su handles study and school assignments; it shapes the way she interacts with her colleagues. “If I feel like it’s going to be an event where it’s all white people, I probably wouldn’t want to go,” she says. “There’s a lot of just drinking. It’s not that I don’t like white people. But you tend to hang out with people of the same race.”

Catherine Costigan, a psychology assistant prof at the University of Victoria, says it’s unsurprising that Asian students are segregated from “mainstream” campus life. She cites studies that show Chinese youth are bullied more than their non-Asian peers. As a so-called “model minority,” they are more frequently targeted because of being “too smart” and “teachers’ pets.” To counter peer ostracism and resentment, Costigan says Chinese students reaffirm their ethnicity.

The value of education has been drilled into Asian students by their parents, likely for cultural and socio-economic reasons. “It’s often described that Asians are the new Jews,” says Jon Reider, director of college counselling at San Francisco University High School and a former Stanford University admissions officer. “That in the face of discrimination, what you do is you study. And there’s a long tradition in Chinese culture, for example, going back to Confucius, of social mobility based on merit.”

Students can carry that narrow scope into university, where they risk alienating their more fun-loving peers. The division is perhaps most extreme at Waterloo, where students have dubbed the MC and DC buildings—the Mathematics & Computer Building and the William G. Davis Computer Research Centre, respectively—“mainland China” and “downtown China,” and where some students told Maclean’s they can go for days without speaking English. Writes one Waterloo mathematics graduate on an online forum: “I once had a tutorial session for the whole class where the TA got frustrated with speaking English and started giving the answer in Mandarin. A lot of the class understood his answer.”

“My dad said if you don’t go into engineering, I won’t pay your tuition,” says Jason Yin, a Taiwanese software engineering student at Waterloo. “They are very traditional. They believe school is about work, studying, go home and studying some more.” Hard-studying Waterloo lends itself particularly to those goals. “We had a problem getting students out of their bedrooms,” says Nikki Best, a former residence don who sits on Waterloo’s student government, who explains they “didn’t want to get behind in their grades because of coming out to social events.” [Nikki Best said her quote was taken out of context, she was referring to students in general not just Asian students]

That’s not to say Asian students form any sort of monolithic presence on Canadian campuses. “The mainland China group tends to stick together,” says Anthony Wong, 19, a Waterloo software engineering student. “We can talk to them,” says Jonathan Ing, also 19 and in Waterloo’s software engineering program, “but we don’t mingle.” Complains Waterloo student Simon Wang, a Chinese national who is frustrated by the segregation at Waterloo: “Why bother to come to Canada and pay five times as much to speak Chinese?” Meanwhile, Calgarian Joyce Chau identifies as “completely whitewashed,” a “banana”: “I look Asian but I’m white in all other respects.” Chau, a 19-year-old UBC business student, lived in residence her first year, where she met the majority of her (white) friends. “It’s harder to integrate into a group with Asians—you may or may not get introduced,” says Chau, who accepts the segregation as just “part of the university experience.”

Such balkanization is reflected in official student organizations: there is little Asian representation on student government, campus newspapers or college radio stations. At UBC, where the student body is roughly 40 per cent Asian, not one Asian sits on the student executive. Same goes for Waterloo. Asian students do, however, participate in organizations beyond the university mainstream, and long-standing cultural clubs function as a sort of ad hoc government. “After you graduate you won’t care about student government, but you’ll care about your club,” says Stan He, president of the Dragon Seed Connection, an on-campus Chinese club with over 300 members. (His business cards feature both dragon and robot motifs.) The Dragon Seed offers its members social functions, tutoring help, volunteer opportunities, poker and mah-jong tournaments, and special holiday parties—including at Halloween and Christmas. It even has an exclusive partnership with Solid Entertainment, a promotions and events-planning company that sponsors massive fundraising events and gives Dragon Seed exclusive selling rights on campus. He says that the dozen or so Asian clubs at UBC serve well over 4,000 students and cater to the whole spectrum of cultural identification— from “whitewashed” to “Honger,” a once pejorative term now adopted by students with Hong Kong backgrounds. The Dragon Seed lies somewhere in between—“We’re the middle ground,” He says. “We have international students, but we all speak English.”

Or take the Chinese Varsity Club. With upwards of 500 members, it’s the largest student social club at UBC. The executives say they’ve captured a niche market: Chinese commuter students from the outlying Richmond, Burnaby and North Vancouver communities who hope to find a social network at the big school. “Students from high school already hear about us from older brothers and sisters,” says Peter Yang, the 21-year-old accounting student who is the club’s VP external. “You want to break out of the cycle of studying and being lonely,” says Brian Cheung, its president.

The impact of high admissions rates for Asian students has been an issue for years in the U.S., where high school guidance counsellors have come to accept that it’s just more difficult to sell their Asian applicants to elite colleges. In 2006, at its annual meeting, the National Association for College Admission Counseling explored the issue in an expert panel discussion called “Too Asian?” One panellist, Rachel Cederberg—an Asian-American then working as an admissions official at Colorado College—described fellow admissions officers complaining of “yet another Asian student who wants to major in math and science and who plays the violin.” A Boston Globe article early this year asked, “Do colleges redline Asian-Americans?” and concluded there’s likely an “Asian ceiling” at elite U.S. universities. After California passed Proposition 209 in 1996 forbidding affirmative action in the state’s public dealings, Asians soared to 40 per cent of the population at public universities, even though they make up just 13 per cent of state residents. And U.S. studies suggest Ivy League schools have taken the issue of Asian academic prowess so seriously that they’ve operated with secret quotas for decades to maintain their WASP credentials.

In his 2009 book No Longer Separate, Not Yet Equal, Princeton University sociologist Thomas Espenshade surveyed 10 elite U.S. universities and found that Asian applicants needed an extra 140 points on their SAT scores to be on equal footing with white applicants. Scandals over such unfair admissions practices have surfaced in recent years at Stanford, Harvard University, the University of California at Berkeley and elsewhere. Hsu, the Oregon physicist, draws a comparison between Asian-Americans and Jewish students who began arriving at the Ivy League in the first half of the last century. “You can find well-documented internal discussions at places like Harvard and Yale and Princeton about why we shouldn’t admit these people, they’re working so hard and they’re so obviously ambitious, but we want to keep our WASP [white anglo-saxon protestant] pedigree here.”

To quell the influx of Jewish students, Ivy League schools abandoned their meritocratic admissions processes in favour of one that focused on the details of an applicant’s private life—questions about race, religion, even about the maiden name of an applicant’s mother. Schools also began looking at such intangibles as character, personality and leadership potential. Canadian universities, apart from highly competitive professional programs and faculties, don’t quiz applicants the same way, and rely entirely on transcripts. Likely that is a good thing. And yet, that meritocratic process results, especially in Canada’s elite university programs, in a concentration of Asian students.

The upshot is that race is defining Canadian university campuses in a way it did not 25 years ago. Diversity has enriched these schools, but it has also put them at risk of being increasingly fractured along ethnic lines. It’s a superficial form of multiculturalism that is expressed in the main through segregated, self-selecting, discrete communities. It would behoove the leadership of our universities to recognize these issues and take them seriously. And yet, that’s exactly what’s not happening. Indeed, discussions with Canada’s top university presidents reveal for the most part that they are in a state of denial.

“This is a non-issue,” wrote U of T president David Naylor in an email. “We’ve never had a student complain about this. In fact, this is a false stereotype, as we know that Asian students are fully engaged in extracurricular activities. So the whole concept is false.”

As Cheryl Misak, the U of T’s VP and provost, puts it: “We have a properly diverse mix, with no particular group extra prominent—we’re the rainbow nation and we’ve got every sort of student and everyone is on merit.” Waterloo president Feridun Hamdullahpur echoes a similar sentiment. “There is a great tendency in our society to learn more about other nations and other cultures,” he says. “Universities are the hotbed of these kind of activities. If you want to see more economic and political diversity, I think they star.”

These positions arguably represent a missed opportunity. Universities have the potential of establishing real cultural change. It makes sense that the head of the Canadian university with perhaps the highest number of Asian students is the most candid and the most concerned. Indeed, Stephen Toope has, since his arrival in 2006 as UBC president, made the issue central to his agenda—including outreach and newspaper op-ed pieces touting the importance of making the university campus a meeting place not only of diversity but also of dialogue.

Among Canadian universities, UBC is one of the few institutions that publishes the ethnic makeup of its student body. Toope says that the university’s Asian student population is not “widely out of whack with the community,” although the stats tell a slightly different story. According to a 2009 UBC report on direct undergraduate entrants, 43 per cent of its students self-identify as ethnically Chinese, Korean or Japanese, as compared to 38 per cent who self-identify as white. Although Vancouver is a richly diverse city, according to data from the 2006 census, just 21.5 per cent of its residents identify as a Chinese, Korean or Japanese visible minority.

Toope says drawing the various communities present on Canadian campuses into a common medium can be challenging. “Across Canada it isn’t always the case that you’re seeing as much engagement from the new communities as perhaps we should,” he says. Toope uses the experience of Turkish immigrants in Germany as a cautionary tale—“there are groups that never find a way to participate in the broader community.” Such circumstances persist precisely because the issue of race is not attacked head on. “I don’t want to pretend that just because you have people from different backgrounds they’re going to interact—they’re not,” Toope says. “We have to actually create mechanisms, programs and opportunities for people to interact. A university is one of the places that has the greatest capacity to work through demographic change.”

Toope points us in the right direction. It’s unfair to change the meritocratic entry system, so all universities can do—all they should do—is encourage groups to mingle. Though it’s true that universities—U of T and Waterloo included—do have diversity programs and policies for students, newer, fresher ways are needed to help pry the ethnic ghettos open so everyone hangs out together. Or at least they have the chance to. The white kids may not find it’s too Asian after all. Alexandra, who chose to go to Western for the party scene, found she “hated being away from home” and moved back to Toronto. In retrospect, she didn’t like the vibe. “Some people just want to drink 23 hours a day.” Alexandra says she still has friends at Western who live in an “all-blond house” and are “stick thin.” Rachel, Alexandra’s friend, says Western suits them—“they work hard, get good grades, then slap on their clubbing clothes.” But it didn’t suit Alexandra. She now studies at U of T.

University Of Waterloo: Number one hit university, yeah!

2010-11-10T11:29:00.000-05:00

Clearly Maclean's has never had a writer or statistician that attended Waterloo; nor have they ever actually been to Waterloo.

Anyways, this was posted moments ago on UW's Facebook page and I've already taken the liberty of vandalizing it.

This shall be an amusing bout of comments.

They seriously have to stop interviewing Rec. students...

Hawks Are Retarded

2010-11-09T12:42:00.001-05:00

Hello readers,
Today whilst walking home from class I saw a fast approaching shadow to my rear and felt a whoosh over my head. Low and behold it was a red tailed hawk. It landed shortly in front of me and pounced on a mouse. I didn't even think there could be a mouse there, let alone see it. That's a testament to this animals eyesight and instinct. Daayyuummm. So after looking at me for a second, it flew away right back over my head.
This whole time I was obviously freaking out; with many people watching.
So I have this to say. Have you no shame Mr. Hawk? Did your mother not teach you any manners when she regurgitated partially digested field mice in your your mouth? How dare you embarrass me in front of all of those people! And you didn't even offer to share!
This isn't the first time this has happened. I may have written on raptors before. Or not, I can't remember. Anyways, I feel like I have a strong connection with these things since I see them doing strange things everywhere. It's like they follow me! Lamp-posts, ledges, sidewalks, windows. I see them everywhere, up close. They are gigantic, I don't understand how many people don't see them!
I tell people about all my crazy stories involving raptors and they just don't believe me. Maybe it's all in my head. That would explain why some girl laughed hysterically when I cowered and screamed. Maybe she didn't see the gigantic bird of prey flying straight at me.

Dale Peterson And University English

2010-11-02T12:44:00.000-04:00

Many of you know that I study rhetoric at university. For those who don't; I study rhetoric in university. In one of my classes we have weekly assignments that help us tear apart material to find evidence of rhetoric. On the last one we were given the freedom of choosing our own source so I picked this hilarious campaign video that I have known about for a while. I thought I'd post this so that I could show a few of my readers what I meant when I say, "I study rhetoric." It is be no means good, at all. It was thrown together in about ten minutes while recalling knowledge from a class last year.

Take a look at the video before you read this and you'll understand a bit more about rhetoric!

Republicans are fascinating creatures. Republicans always seem to win the hearts of certain Americans through the strangest ways (at least from my perspective).
    Did you know Dale Peterson was a farmer, a business man, a cop, and a marine during Vietnam? You do now. Dale Peterson is running for the Republican Nomination for Alabama Agriculture Commission. He is doing so with a fascinating, and curiously effective political campaign. The reason why it is so brilliant is because it employs something so obvious that I didn’t think Republicans understood; Rhetoric.
    Right off the bat we learn who he is, and what he’s doing. This establishes his ethos and his logos, as well as giving the ever-important audience an idea of the situation. His logos (or appeal to reason) is simple; he wants to be Alabama’s Agriculture Commissioner. His ethos (or social identity) is brilliantly constructed. Like I said before, he used to be all of those fantastic, all-american professions. With that said, he must know a thing or two about being American. So listen up!
    Perterson’s rhetoric is blunt at its best. There are no sheaths of big words or amusing metaphors to make his persuasion discrete; Peterson tells it like it is. Dale’s arrangement of his argument is simple; Things are bad, I’m awesome, everyone else is dummy, vote for me, everything will be alright. He makes considerations for his audience by mentioning how they are being bullied by thugs and criminals who don’t give a rip about Alabama. Here we can note the pathos of his campaign. He assumes that both he and his audience have strong emotions and convictions for their beloved; oh, republicans. By recognizing emotions, Peterson strengthens his argument against his arch rival Dorman Grace! Dorm doesn’t sound very threatening. However, according to Dale (I call him by his first name since I feel so acquainted with him now) he is a pretty terrible guy. Bringing down the opposing side of the argument is a key strategy of rhetoric. Dale seems to do it pretty well since I pictured a hook-nosed and crouching demon. Dorm isn’t actually like that, he is pretty sharp in-fact. However, I’m sure Dale’s description penetrated the brains of many a naive Republicans.
    Did you feel threatened while watching Dale’s commercial? I sure did. This is partly because he wields a vintage lever-action shotgun (probably his grand-daddy’s) in the latter portion of the commercial. I get the idea that he means “vote for me or I’ll shoot you in the goddamn head.” or maybe he is using firearms to symbolically represent his potency and power. Either way, the gun is an obvious factor in his rhetoric since he raises and presents it about four times.
    If it means anything, Dale beat out Dorman for the top spot in the election. Clearly this campaign was a success.

-end

So that is a sample of some rushed, university level writing. Like I said, it isn't top-spec stuff and really caters to the class discussions that we have so it may seem a bit peculiar.

If it is any consolation, I was asked to talk about it in front of the class. A career in teaching perhaps? I would have some fun classes. :)

How I just Heroically Saved My Blackberry

2010-11-01T09:39:00.000-04:00

No, that's not my phone in the photo. That's a hyperbole!
So last night I dropped my phone on the unforgiving hard wasteland that is my ceramic tile floor. This happens a lot so I wasn't worried. Then I turned it on and the screen was blank.
Immediately, I panicked thinking I'd have to use my old piece-of-shit HTC Diamond; or ask my parents to help me buy a new Blackberry. They'd probably be like "wtf dude." Mom, Dad... I love you.
Turns out the injury that my 8830 received has to do with it's display connections and possibly the pins for the female USB port. Upon impact they make contact and short out; or something like that. I'll ask some guy in the RIM parking lot on my way to class in 25 minutes.
Anyways, I figured the same thing that broke my phone could also fix it. After backing up the phone and restoring the OS I gave it a firm whack off my solid oak desk. As col. Hans Landa would say, "OOOHH! IT'S A BINGO!!"
Pure ironic bliss to fix my phone by smashing it out of rage! The kind of irony I thrive on.
Another bit that I can add to my argument over iPhones. Blackberries can be fixed outside of the warranty by cavemen!
Carpe Diem!

EHDT Tracks Vol. 2

2010-10-25T16:20:00.000-04:00

My dear friends,
Let us not talk of my lack posting. It's been crazy back here in Waterloo so blogging hasn't been at the top of my to-do list.
I'll break the bad habit with another EHDT Tracks post.
I've mentioned before that music is a huge part of my morning commute and general sanity in Waterloo. Most of these tracks have been ones that I'm jamming to while partying, walking to class, and making dinner.
Oh snap, this is going to be a good one.
Enjoy.

Splash - Sub Focus (feat. Coco)
I found this track out of nowhere and can't get over the wicked vocals. Definitely a good skateboarding home from work tune.

Gun Talk - Dj Green Lantern (feat. Biggie Smalls & Camron)
I've been looking for this track for ages since I saw it in a sweet ski video. Now I can ski with swagger!

Between A Man And A Woman - Flogging Molly
What's not to love about Flogging Molly? They're fantastic

Weapon - Matthew Good
This song explodes at 1:34. I have to include the video so you can see how much of genius Matt Good is!

Polar Opposites - Iron Horse
Do you like Modest Mouse? Do you like Bluegrass? This will blow your mind. Roadtrippin' music!

The Mall & Misery - Broken Bells
Danger Mouse and James Mercer. Awesome retro flow. Just a great song.

Anti-Venom - Ubiquitous Synergy Seeker
Crazy D&B style, I don't know what genre. Good vocals. Totally a gym song.

Pigeon - Maps & Atlases
Evan: "Doug, this guy sounds like a hobbit." Doug: "He looks like one too!"

Terrible Man - Wintersleep
From their new album, give it a shot. Slight change from the old stuff, perhaps. Whatup Halifax?!

Enjoy those, and expect some more soon. Music discovery is subsequent to procrastination!

Something Else That Taunts Me (Terrifies)

2010-10-07T13:50:00.001-04:00

I knew I had forgotten something important in that last post.

Lexus ES300s!!!

As of last weekend I have seen these everywhere. I'm sure you all know about blue car syndrome. If you don't; it's when one thinks it is a grand idea to buy a blue car because it is unique; but then sees them everywhere. The same thing happened after Moe got a Toyota Tercel. They are everywhere.

This weekend some friends and I were involved in a most unfortunate accident where our vehicle was t-boned in the middle of an intersection. Thankfully we are alright. But the Lexus we were in isn't in such great shape (as you will see in the photo I post below.) Since the accident we have seen Lexus ES300s around every turn. Taunting us.

The old Lexus we were driving may live to see another day -- but I wonder -- will that stop the barrage of ES300 sightings?

If there is a god out there, he is playing a cruel, cruel joke on us.

Here is a picture of the damage.

"And she will be loved."

Things That Taunt me

2010-10-04T13:00:00.000-04:00

Hello,

Here are some things that taunt me on a daily basis.

Mercedes Benz C63 AMG

This is my dream car. It is a classic C-series saloon but with a massive 6.3L V8 powerplant that sounds like s stallion (as I have described it on many occasions.) It's not that sexy or groundbreaking but I love the idea that it is a total sleeper that can whoop any civic v-tech to oblivion.

The thing that really sucks is that they are immensely popular here in Waterloo. Almost every day one drives by or gurgles at a stop light. I can't help but stare as my knees give way. Sometimes I yell and jump "There's my dream car!" I'll exclaim to my confused friends. That is the pathetic irony in this situation, people just don't understand how awesome that car is. I do; and it taunts me.

Canada Geese

First of all. I am bigger than you, goose. I am at the pinnacle of this food web. I could destroy you. Don't mock me as I walk past. I don't appreciate that stare, tilt, and waddle that you give me while I wait for my bus. And who said you could eat the grass right beside my foot. There is plenty grass elsewhere. But no, you have to eat that grass and then you freak out when I shoo you away. And don't get me started on mating season. I'm not going to hurt your babies, stop hissing and charging at me.

Waterloo is infested with geese year-round. I love them but apparently the feeling is not mutual. I wish we could get along. I am sick of their daily taunting.

Grand River Transit

Oh look, it's raining. Here comes my bus! The only bus that I can take! I'm so glad it is going to stop here! Nevermind. Fuck you GRT.

Once again, check this out! Our bus is coming at 2:30! I'll get to the stop at 2:25! By 2:50 there is no bus. Fuck you GRT.

Nice, I think this insane bus driver just gave me whiplash. Fuck you GRT.

I know I take my free transit service for granted. However, you'd think that a city with three post-secondary institutions would pay more attention to it's student riders. Daily.

Davis Centre (Downtown China)

Walking through here on a daily basis is a true ordeal when you're the only caucasian. Not that there is anything wrong with all the Asians at Waterloo. I love them. But it is taunting to be surrounded by something so foreign for 30 seconds of your commute. Being a visible minority is a struggle. Jks. Daily.

English Professors That Say Li-tri-ture. (IT'S LITERATURE!)

This less a taunt and more of a bother. I can't understand how a literature professor can pronounce it "li-tri-ture" instead of the proper way. How could one get a PhD in said subject, then teach it to people, only to say it wrong? I addressed it the other day to a professor (who says it correctly) when he asked for our biggest language-use pet-peeves. He agreed, it is very strange and threatening to modern language.

These are just a few things that grind my gears. Possibly more to come as they are experienced.

Love,

EHDT Tracks Vol. 1

2010-08-01T11:40:00.001-04:00

Music blogs are really popular these days.
If you're thinking this tracklist is going to be the newest of new music then you can bugger off.
I've put together a collection of songs that I've been listening to or spinning on my faux-turntables.
I'll go ahead and just warn my "older" audiences that this probably isn't your thing...
Enjoy.

1. A.D.D. S.U.V. (feat. Pharrell Williams) - Uffie
   I've mentioned this one before (albeit the remix.) Groovy lyrics and wicked bass.

2. Whine - Aidonia
   Some fresh new dancehall that doesn't talk about killing people. If you can understand Aidonia...

3. Roll Over Beethoven - Chuck Berry
   I lied. I've been listening to this for ages. Such a good summer song though. Feeling nostalgic?

4. Loonies To Blow (feat. Drake) - A-Trak
   Really just a remix of Toyfriend (David Guetta) with Drakes vocals. WILL turn you deaf...

5. I Got A Woman - Ray Charles
Another one of my picks for a Sunday drive perhaps? Forget Kanye, this is legit!

6. Rumour - Jah Vinchi
   Some more dancehall. This one less popular and rockin' the Gala Riddim. On my September playlist.

7. The Man Who Would Speak True - Blitzen Trapper
   Off their latest album. However, I highly suggest taking a look at their debut album "Furr."

8. Dustbowl Dance - Mumford And Sons
   Love this band, love this song. Check out the rest of that album, it's gorgeous.

9. Dream Chasin' - Chiddy Bang
   Heavy bass and sweet flow. Definitely a night-driving track.

10. Zingolo (Sway Mix) - Tinny
   Do you like Ghanaian football? You might also like Ghanaian hip-hop. This track is wicked good.
(Can't find a YouTube link)
11. The People - The Music
   For years I've been trying to turn people on to The Music. One-hit-wonder? Whatever. Awesome.

12. Sound Of Siren (feat. M.I.A. and Busy Signal) - Major Lazer
   Deeep bass and I have a feeling this will drop well with "Pond De Floor" Gotta test that...

13. Handguns (Dada Life Remix) - Alex Gopher
    I can't describe the mood of this track, Chaotically-calm maybe? Has a hint of Steve Aoki.

14. Who Feels It Knows It - Roman Virgo
   Grabbed this from the VP record pool. I swear it's going to be big.

15. I'm a Rover - Great Big Sea
   The Sea version is so good. A Fantastic summer song.


Enjoy the long weekend!

Webster's Falls 27/07/2010

2010-07-29T20:27:00.001-04:00

Dan and I took the back route to Webster's falls the other day. We parked alongside highway 8 (King St. Hill) and hiked from the train tracks to the falls.

For a weekday it was overly crowded for our liking but we made do.

It isn't a tough hike but we are hoping to go all the way around the falls and to the peak next time. That one should be awesome. We are getting ready for our (hopeful) camping trip. Maybe Algonquin Park this year? Stay tuned, enjoy the photos!

I believe I have your stapler

2010-07-29T18:45:00.002-04:00

I sincerely hope the majority of my readers have seen the 1999 movie Office Space. I know there is a select few who haven't -- and to them -- shame on you!

Anybody who has seen Office Space would be familiar with the films totem symbol; the red Swingline Stapler. In particular, the 747 "Rio Red" office workhorse stapler, the flagship of all Swinglines.
According to Milton (Office Space's most lovable character) the 747 is a superb stapler. And I quote;

"I used to be over by the window, and I could see the squirrels, and they were merry, but then, they switched from the Swingline to the Boston stapler, but I kept my Swingline stapler because it didn't bind up as much, and I kept the staples for the Swingline stapler and it's not okay because if they take my stapler then I'll set the building on fire..."

I left out the epic compilation video for the sake of the people who haven't seen Office Space yet.
At some point after 1999 Swingline realized how much the red stapler meant to people and they released a "limited edition" of their classic workhorse.
I managed to pic one up the other day for the nominal price of 22 dollars. This heavy, sturdy, and elegant tool represents so much more than the binding of pages. When I hold it I think of Milton and his constant struggle against the Initech corporation. I think of what it means to reach "hump day" and "Damn, it feels good to be a gangsta."

By all means, it staples things just fine. True to Milton's statement; it does bind up much less than other traditional staplers. For an English major; that's a good thing!
I can't see why you would but any other stapler. Besides not liking the colour, this stapler is perfect for anyone. It does the job well and for an inanimate (and usually mundane) object it holds so much sentimental value; especially for those who work in offices.

While I'm on the topic of specially coloured inanimate objects; I'd like to congratulate my mother for becoming our street's best recycler. Here in Hamilton there is the Gold Box program that awards a gold (yellow) recycling bin to the household which has the best recycling skills on the block. Apparently, (without trying) my mother won this awesome title and now we get to present a bright yellow recycling bin on our lawn. Maybe it will help the re-sale value of the house? Check it out.

P.S. Check out the awesome lamp that I have to accompany my awesome stapler on my awesome desk (which I'll be featuring later) in my awesome new apartment! You can see it here.

I don't want to cruise to cruz.

2010-07-27T11:35:00.001-04:00

Have you heard that song "Dynamite" by Taio Cruz on the radio, nonstop? Because I have. And I'm sick of it!

Years ago I gave up listening to one genre of music; that's no fun. So when I drive, I am open to any radio station and I have most of them programed in to the head-unit. The last three presets on my radio consist of the big Toronto smash-hit stations that usually provide some awesome driving music. However, lately there has been a common (and annoying) theme. For me, Taio Cruz came out of nowhere with this insensuous, pretentious, self-anthem that has irritated me to a bitter state.
Take a look at the song here.

The other day I turned on my beautiful Mazda Protege and this song (I kid you not) was playing on all three (yes 3) of the Toronto hit stations. I was then forced to listen to Hall & Oates on K-Lite FM until something more drive-worthy came on.

Since that point I have checked the stations an noted that this song plays every time I get in to my car on at least one station. Then, (whilst driving) it plays an innumerable amount. It reminds me of when I was working in a cafe and we would listen to the radio. Beyonce's "Halo" played 13 times on an eight hour shift once.

I don't think this is much of a problem since obviously Cruz's (if that really is his name) label has paid the Canadian broadcasters a lot of money to play his song. Thus, it's not really my business to say.

I just wonder if that is any way to treat music; good or bad. It is widely understood that listening to a song repetitively will eventually cause the subject to fatigue and grow tiresome of it. So what's the point in spending all that money to have your song heard when it is going to be despised next month? Remember when "The Thong Song" and "Blue" (by Eifel 65) were the only songs you'd hear blasting from car stereos? Look where they are now.

For the sake of his career, I hope Cruz has a long-term plan for his music. On second thought I don't; I could really stand not hearing him for a while.

PS, My solution to this "Dyanmite" nonsense is to play something totally bumpin' from my iPod. My suggestion is a track by Uffie and Pharrell called A.D.D. S.U.V., particularly the Carte Blanche Remix. It's really funky and and sounds awesome doubled up on turntables!
Check it here;

Not Waking For The Tour Tomorrow

2010-07-25T01:38:00.001-04:00

I haven't much to say about this since it's late and I am dead from a hard work week. I also haven't much to say right now because I've said it all before.
Bottom line; I despise Alberto Contador as an athlete.

Last year, Contador bullied his way to the malloit jaune -- in effect -- pushing Lance Armstrong down to third place.
Now I've heard it all before. People call me a band wagoner when I cheer for Armstrong. I have my reasons though. I've seen every single one of Armstrong's wins from start to finish and he is the reason I got up every morning at 8:30am to watch the Tour De France for 2.5+ hours. Andy Schleck is another reason I like to watch Le Tour. Shcleck is an honest and true rider who plays his role as a team-member, and a leader.
Armstrong and Schleck were my two hopefuls for the yellow jersey this year but I was crushed when Contador's name hit the number one spot.
Tomorrow is the final stage on the champs d'elysees and I doubt I will wake to see Contador win. I couldn't possibly support an individual who rides for the fame. I support riders who do it for a reason other than money and prestige.
I congratulate all the riders this year; especially Schleck for pushing himself and not giving up, and Armstrong, for showing us how noble he is in so many ways.
I pity Contador and hope that next year, he will sink in to the lull that most superstar riders experience and realize what it means to have a team behind you.

R.I.P. Cycling Culture

2010-07-20T21:10:00.001-04:00

Today some hipster douche-bag (an appropriate title) held up traffic for several blocks while going 30km/h in the downtown core. During rush hour. I was the car closest to him and thus took flak from the drivers behind me.
I cycled competitively for most of my life. I have owned many bikes; one of which costs more than a typical used car. Last summer, cycling was my only means of transportation to and from work.
In those days I used to loathe drivers and their cars; but I never acted like an idiot.
Lately (and especially after visiting New York City) I've noticed that this rebellious-hipster-fixed-gear bike culture is beginning to ruin the bike culture that I have always known and loved.
The revival of the fixed gear bike started in a cycling subculture. Owners wanted something simple and reliable because they were usually using their rides for work (eg. a courier.) Quickly, bike forum members and bike shop regulars picked up on the idea and began using fixies as an accessory bike. An accessory bike is something that often the owner would build themselves and it would act as a beater, per se. Accessory bikes are fun actually. I once built a few. You don't have to worry about paint or your tires matching; it is something that you can thrash around or build upon without worry.
This mentality of reduce, reuse, and recycling inevitably caught on with the eccentric "save the planet" and "be different" crowd. For them, driving a car is too bad for the environment, and riding a Trek is to mainstream.
Mimicking the off-beat courier bunch; hipsters started making fixed gear bikes out of their sisters old Raleigh ten-speeds and painting them nonsensical colours. Paired with the Kryptonite lock that is worth three times as much as the bike; these bikes are as ironic as a fox in a hen house. Alas, hipsters love that.
Now that the hipster fad is as big as it's going to get; these bikes are widely available. Hipster haven Urban Outfitters started up their own "bike shop" a while back featuring a custom build tool to make your own fixed gear piece of junk. At least it will match your moccasins?
This is the first thing that bothers me about hipster bike culture. When you can just choose a bike online and have it shipped to your door; where is the pride? Fixed gear bikes used to be about building it yourself from the old frame that you loved too much to throw away. When you bought a new bike, you used to take time to choose the one that's perfect for you, rather than getting what is available because it's "ironic."

While I may be a bigot towards nonsensical bikes and riders; I think this next point is pretty global. Riding a a homemade bike to work doesn't give you any more rights then the regular cyclist. I see it all the time (especially today.) Hipsters ride in the middle of the lane thinking they are in Manhattan where the average speed is under 10mp/h. Just because you can do some cute tricks on your fixie, doesn't mean it makes sense to do them on a busy road. Good for you, you can stop your bike without breaks. However, in the process of doing so you have scared the hell out of the driver behind you. But you don't really care do you; it's too mainstream to care.
When I used to ride to work I took out my precious Bianchi and rode on the immediate right (since I was the slowest vehicle) and went on sidewalks when it was appropriate. Yes, in Ontario it is technically illegal to ride your bike on the sidewalk but if you've ever ridden down main street during rush-hour, you'd understand. In the event that I passed cars (I am quick, very quick) I wouldn't do so by weaving and swerving. I would simply ride past.
I never realized how inconvenient cyclists can be for drivers. It wasn't until I started driving to work that I noticed how much of a pain they are. I'll admit, I am not always as assertive as I'd like to be. For I too know what it feels like to be a cyclist. If a rider is riding sensibly and getting in my way at the same time I will allow them to do so. However, if some idiot on a fixie is interfering with my driving because they are just too stubborn to move; yes I will come up right behind you and rev my engine aggressively. And that's the least I allow myself to do...
Hipsters will call me arrogant on this one. Frankly, if I have to be arrogant to try and restore my beloved cycling culture; then that's what I'll be.
Hipsters should understand that you can't take your rebellious and lackadaisical attitude on to the road. If you're going to ride a bike, you should do it properly.
When a sign overhead says "Share the road" remember that sharing only happens when both parties work together and that in the end, my car is bigger.

This rant has been brought to you by gears; helping people ride sensibly.

Matchbox

2010-07-20T17:41:00.003-04:00

When I was a little guy I collected (rather, hoarded) Hot Wheels and Matchbox cars. In my bedroom I am a dresser with a drawer literally packed FULL of little cars, trucks, buses, and planes.
Obviously, I gave up that hobby when reading suddenly became more important than playing with tiny vehicles.
I really hadn't touched a Matchbox car since I was about 12; which was probably the age that I cleared out that drawer. Today my mom brought back fond memories when she brought home a few cars. It was just like the good old days.

You see, it is somewhat of a joke, on top of a joke. I thought it would be funny to get one of those rugs that has the layout of a city (roads, buildings, etc...) to put in my apartment in September. Five guys living in a basement -- it's bound to be a hit. My mom said jokingly that I should get some cars to go with it. Low and behold, today I am the proud owner of a '72 Lotus Europa Special, a '71 VW-Porsche 914, and an '08 Corvette ZR1. Charming.
I'm actually proud to be the owner of these fine automobiles since I won;t be able to own the actual ones in the immediate future.
Whether or not I let the guys play with them on the rug is still undecided. Probably not though.

P.S. As you can see in this gallery, I gave photographic the cars in a homemade lightbox a shot. As you can tell, the results were less than impressive...

Can Your iPhone Do This?

2010-07-19T10:49:00.049-04:00

It seems like everybody in Waterloo has a BlackBerry. Once I took a bus downtown and noticed that even the very old man sitting next to me was rocking the new Bold 9700 before anyone else! Waterloo is the home of Research In Motion and thus the birthplace of the illustrious BlackBerry device. Up until a month ago I felt left out since I had a Windows Mobile device that didn't boast a huge battery life or fantastic reception. Frankly, it was a piece of junk.
Lately I've noticed that outside of Waterloo there are a heap more iPhone users than I am used to. They all boast about their huge screen, apps, auto-focus camera, and wicked GPS. There is a particular sect of iPhone users (rather, loyalists) that believe their phone is the best.
Now, I'm not here to say what is right and what is wrong, but you really must consider how superior the BlackBerry is.
To begin I must declare that I am not completely biased for I own an iPod Touch; which is really just an iPhone without the speaker (and an iPhone is just a phone with too many features.)I have used it for a long while and it has frustrated me to no end.
Let's begin...
My BlackBerry has been running on a single charge now for three days. I have used it to talk for 2 hours and send/receive about 300 text messages along with about 30 emails. I also used it to navigate on GPS for an hour and browse the internet for a few wikipedia pages.
If I recall, making a phone call or sending a text message on an iPhone isn't terrible on the battery life. However, should you want to use GPS (or any other app for that matter) on an iPhone; you can watch your battery life drop by the second. Disgraceful...
The next fun thing my BlackBerry can do is provide me with a physical user-interface! It's called a keyboard and trackball and you actually generate complete circuits with your fingers to produce an outcome on the software interface! On an iPhone, you hope and pray that when you touch the picture on your glass screen that your cumbersome thumbs won't slip and give you the wrong output.
Having a keyboard is great because it means I spend less time backspacing, and more time typing.
Next is a feature that we BlackBerry users fervently covet. BlackBerry Messenger (or BBM) uses the BlackBerry network to connect your device to other devices so that you can send text, media, and other files through a chatboard-like interface. Long story short; it is a way to send really fast messages without worrying about your long-distance phone bill. By using your data connection, you BlackBerry can send these messages independent of your cellular airtime and thus save you time and money.
Of course, you could jury-rig this sort of setup on an iPhone. However, that would force you to initiate a third party application; and thus, kill your battery life.

Another great thing that sets my BlackBerry above iPhones is the general call quality, reliability, and reception. iPhones (particularly on AT&T) are notorious for dropping calls. And more recently (with the release of the iPhone 4) iPhones have the tendency to just not work depending on where you hold them. I just ran a series of tests on my BlackBerry and found out that holding my phone actually increases my reception. I tested it 6 times. While it sat on my desk it had a signal strength of -92dBm. After picking it up and holding it in my hand, the signal went up to to -87dBm. Neat eh? This sort of reliability also helps accommodate the surprisingly crisp sounding call quality that you get using a BlackBerry. You can also adjust the treble and bass of your call audio to suit you best.
I could go on forever about the feature that my phone has over the iPhones; but I'll leave on one final note. I can control my phone to do whatever I want. I can automate it's features, change the layout, manage my security, change how it acts in certain physical conditions, and many other things. I can do all of this and not be restricted by nonsensical constraints set by Apple.
All of this from a phone that is nearly four years old.

There will never be a real winner in the cellphone market. Everyday something bigger and better comes out that dwarfs the competition. I just feel that at the moment, my BlackBerry triumphs over the next best thing. This past month I've been really excited about owning a BlackBerry so I wanted to share my enthusiasm. I hope I didn't offend any iPhone users :)

Check Out Flourine

2010-07-19T10:03:00.000-04:00

What do you know about flourine? Did you know it has atomic number 9? Did you know it's a gas that has a boiling point of -188C. No, I am not referencing wikipedia. I am struggling to recall what I remembered in grade 11 chemistry.
I didn't know that flourine was a miraculously powerful oxidizer; which now makes perfect sense.
Check out this video and see some awesome flourine reactions. My favourite is the one involving iodine!
This is a video from a YouTube series that I have been watching for a while that comes from the University of Nottingham. If you have any time to waste and the urge to learn about chemistry, I highly advise you watch a few.

I Do Not Want To Write Like Dan Brown

2010-07-18T11:29:00.001-04:00

But according to http://iwl.me/ I do...

As a student of the English language; I am an ambassador as to what is right, and what is wrong when it comes to writing. Personally, I think authors like Dan Brown and John Grisham are shit. Writing 12 novels in a year to fill a publisher quota doesn't mean you're a good author. In fact, it shows how little pride you take in your work.

Alas, I shouldn't let my literature-nazi opinions get in the way of what I'm trying to say.

Every morning I listen to AM 680 News radio. Why? Because I'm cool like that. On slow news days they often make mention of frivolous things like cool websites or tech reviews. This morning was a slow news day. The man in my radio spoke about a website called I Write Like. It is a script that takes a sample of your writing and analyzes it for key phrases, words, and style and produces and author that it feels your writing resembles the most.

I submitted a paper that I wrote for my Travel Literature course about Shaolin. To my dismay, the website said I wrote like Dan Brown. I found this offensive since I find Brown to be particularly repulsive.

I hope dearly that I don't actually write like Brown. I was hoping for Chekhov, Hemingway, Tolstoy, and heck -- even Atwood. Apparently Mel Gibson's rant (something I know little about) managed to achieve the Atwood status. So a bumbling religious buffoon can get Atwood and I am stuck with a celebrity plastic author? I must say, I am slightly ashamed.

Alas, I am relieved when I discovered the faults in the program. It doesn't really work. Every good scientist (of which I am not) knows that for data to be good, it must be consistent over a series of tests (in the short-run.) I entered about ten different pieces of my own work and received different output on each. Finally, I stopped when I received an author that I'd be happy to compare myself to; James Joyce.

Call it phony, or call me phony. Either way, I don't like it.

If you'd like to try it out yourself, go to http://iwl.me/ and put in a sample of your writing. I'd love to hear what you write like.

Black and White Summer

2010-07-17T13:52:00.004-04:00

Boredom is a pretty deadly thing. I overcome it by taking up new hobbies.

I have a bunch of cameras; but I don't do much with them. In between looking for jobs there is an intense period of nothingness. It's the waiting game really...

I combat going crazy during this time by taking crazy things like reading, photography, and exercise.

Here you can find an outlet of my insanity put in to photographs. If you think they mean anything significant -- well -- you're crazier than I am.

Should you care...

2010-07-16T01:07:00.005-04:00

Summer cleaning will be happening this week.

New layout, new content, new features. And I'll start posting instead of writing aimlessly and saving drafts.

P.S. The current layout served me well I want to thank everyone who helped work on it but I think it's time to revamp the image for both myself as a budding professional, and for the sake of the internet -- nobody wants to look at neon paint splats in 2010.

Thanks

Tunnel Follow Up

2010-02-01T17:00:00.009-05:00

More on the notorious UW tunnels.

A few weeks ago I talked about the tunnels at The University of Waterloo.

This week's imprint newspaper has a pretty good article that clears up the common myths. I guess I wasn't too far off with my reasoning on this fairy tale.

Check out the article here.

Some Questions Answered

2010-01-15T10:34:00.005-05:00

I've got an overload of information from these past two weeks -- hopefully this will get rid of it.

Some interesting factoids here too!

Why -4C doesn't feel cold anymore...

At the end of november as the exam crunch was dawning and temperatures were falling -- going outside was something I'd avoid at all costs. -4 degrees seemed bitter cold and I would bundle up coats and hats and gloves for my walks to-and-fro campus. Then, just as things looked like they couldn't get any worse -- mother nature and the University of Waterloo took a shit on my daily life. Studying for exams plus -11 degree (sometimes more) air temperature made my life horrid. Chapped lips, dry hands, frozen toes -- it was horrible! Then I had a nice (cold) relaxing break. Then, back at school the temperatures felt the same until an interesting event. I guess skiing for four hours in -10 re-acclimatizes you for this winter shit. Now that the temperature has gone down, (-4 - 1) it's like spring again! I honestly walk to class with one jacket, no gloves! Hands aren't even in pockets!

And that my friends, is the redundant story of how I've come acclimatized to the strange Waterloo weather trends.

Why weekends are potentially awesomely dangerous (sort of)...

Remember back in September when I described how boring Waterloo is? Yeah, well it's still boring. The weather (and extenuating circumstances) has restricted hacky-sac sessions and wal-mart trips. The weather as eliminated galavanting around town on a saturday night. In fact, weather in Waterloo can be blamed for most of my woes these days. That was until last weekend when we all got together to go skiing at Chicopee (Waterloo's excuse for a ski hill.) We looked goofy lining up for the bus that takes us right to the slopes with all our gear and funny coats. I guess everyone in Waterloo is so rich that they don't need the bus -- they just drive to Chicopee. We were the only ones on the Chicopee bus...

Funny story about the bus. Apparently it's against the rules to bring uncovered skis and poles on to a city bus. This is obviously due to some legal action somebody took agains the GRT in revolt of some freak ski pole stabbing. So evidently, getting our equipment on the bus was a bit of an ordeal. There are three types of bus drivers in Waterloo. Probably about 10% of them are nice people. The other 40% are anti-social and terrible at driving. The last 40% are not bad at driving but are complete ass-hat retards that actually enforce the ski equipment rule.

To make a long story short -- let's just say that we had a mixture of those drivers.

Skiing was awesome -- but cold (for me at least) -- and the slopes weren't that busy (and covered in powder.) Getting back wasn't that bad either. In fact, I think I slept on the bus! A city bus! The potentially dangerous part of these adventures is the price. 20 dollars for a 4 hour ticket and 39 for an all day ticket. This could get expensive. But we're working on a solution. There is a school club that we can join that gets us 15 dollar all day tickets -- the horizon looks cheap and awesome. Per se.

Why Computer Science is stupid...

Right now I'm an English major. Most people scoff at me when I tell them that. I try to explain that "Hey -- fuck you, I love english" or "I'm working on getting out." The reality is that I want to get admitted in to the Geography and Aviation program so I can get my commercial license. Since my retarded guidance counsellor in high school told me I didn't need math for this program, I dropped math in high school. Only to find out that I did need it -- and I can go ahead and be an english major.

Side note:I'd just like to take this opportunity to address that guidance counsellor if she were to ever read this blog. I hate you... I wish sadness and plunder upon your career.

That's better.

Anyways to get in to Geo and Aviation I'm told to take Math 103, and Computer Science 115 (for some unknown reason) I have no idea why a university math course AND a ridiculously hard CS course constitute a high school data management course...

Anyways, the reason I think comp sci is stupid is because the way the faculty of engineering teaches. First of all, my assigned professor does not speak english. I'm serious -- I can not understand what this man says. I asked for help and got a foreign language lesson instead. Then there are these labs and assignments. Labs are not marked -- you go to a comp lab and complete a list of questions with the help of the inadequate T.As but then you're supposed to do an assignment that a) You don't get help with. And b) They didn't teach you in the first place. So how I am supposed to code these bizarre questions is beyond me. Asking T.As is like asking another student for help. They are not qualified and have no idea how to actually teach a concept -- they just give you stupid clues. Anyways, the bottom line is I think I might fail CS. This means I might have to get my english major and get a pilot license elsewhere. But that doesn't mean I'm not going to try my hardest mom and dad. Don't worry, I'm getting all the help I can and I've even started going to the other class with an english speaking professor.

Why everything except Computer Science is awesome...

First of all, distance Math is great. I take this course online. Some people don't work well in these conditions -- I on the other hand flourish. I love having the ability to pause the professor (.mp3 track) so that I can take notes. I can also go back and re-listen to lectures if I get lost. There are weekly assignments that I try to finish early. They are pretty good indicators of what I need to study. I'm not great with numbers, well I'm terrible -- so I'm thankful that my roommate is a math savant and Mohamed is back at home to give my Skype tutorials when said roommate is busy. That's why Distance Math 103 is awesome. Geography is like, so cool. I hope it stays cool. It's so practical and aviation related that I actually enjoy learning about it.

I also have ENG 208 Travel Lit -- and I'm seriously the youngest person in my class (it being a 2nd year course) and probably the only guy without a beard. That class is going to be a cakewalk since it covers my expertise being colonial literature, travel, Kapuscinski, and asian literature. I find I actually want to contribute to that class. It's nothing like 20th century literature where I usually dozed off and stared at the hawks outside the window.

WHICH brings me to another thing...

Raptors are awesome (and terrorizing)

Raptors; you know, birds of prey. They are everywhere in Waterloo. At least I think they are. Some people call me crazy -- but I think there is some sort of Evan->Raptor attraction because I always see them in the most insane situations. Here's a list;

-The tree outside my room

-The lamp post outside my door

-The ledge outside my class

-The middle of the road

All in incredibly close proximity!

Coming from a relatively large city -- birds of prey are rare, so these encounters excite me greatly.

The most incredibly encounter was when I saw a GIANT Red Tail Hawk with a Falcon just chillin' right in front of me (like 3m) The hawk had a dead squirrel in it's talons and the Falcon was chirping like crazy. Then, another type of Hawk (the name escapes me) shows up and it almost looks like he signalled them that I was approaching with my camera and they all flew away right over my head. Call me crazy -- but I think this was best thing that's happened to me all month.

I have huge respect for raptors -- they really fascinate me.

Why bridges and tunnels are awesome...

In my last post I described the extensive connectivity of the buildings in Waterloo. A few days ago I exploited that quality in a fun expedition through the engineering quad. I managed to get from one end of campus to the other using bridges and hallways that never went outside. With that I learned a lot about the the depths of the engineering buildings which are scary... and full of engineers. Showing the route to my equatorial friends has enlightened them -- they never have to experience the Canadian winter again!

Why people at Waterloo can be extremely rude...

I may have high standards -- or I may be crazy, but lately I've noticed I'm like a ghost on campus and everyone wants to cut line in front of me, or throw snowballs at people beside me, or sit in front of me and block my view of the projection when they really don't have to.

It may be the winter, it may be that everyone hates going to school (especially when they can't understand their prof.) Yesterday as I was getting a slice of pizza, some guy just blatantly stepped in front of me and got the last slice of hawaiian. Before that, as I was waiting to ask my prof. a question. Three tiny girls scurried in front of me and looked back at my disgust before promptly stealing my time with the professor. The list goes on. And I might just be too critical about this whole situation but I think I'm rather courteous to Waterloo people, but I never get courtesy in return. Which is why I think I'm gaining the super power of invisibility -- which is awesome.

Why, despite all of this -- I still love Waterloo...

When it's sunny outside; it looks gorgeous.

It's not Hamilton.

My residence has good heating -- it's always warm.

There's lots of raptors.

The arts faculty is still humble and happy -- as always.

Despite all this work, I can still muster the free time to write these trivial, redundant, and amusing blogs...

-ev

Tunnels at Waterloo

2010-01-12T00:10:00.004-05:00

The least favourite part of my day is the 15 minute walk in -10 (average) centigrade climate to get to the different buildings where my lectures are held. Before I knew my way around campus I would walk what I thought to be the most direct route to each destination -- which after time proved to be the longest route possible. Most people think I'm severely directionally challenged. Lately, I've taken to a longer but much warmer trek through various buildings around campus. It took a long time, but I finally found the perfect resource for that.

The University Of Waterloo Floor Plan Page...

Found here: http://plantoperations.uwaterloo.ca/floor_plans/

is a collection of all faculty and plant building blue prints (per se) on the University Of Waterloo campus. After acquiring some basic floor plan knowledge I figured out what everything meant and was easily able to plot travel with minimal outdoor exposure.

However, the one part that intrigued me the most is the hint of a mother load of campus transportation.

See, rumour has it that Waterloo buildings are connected by an extensive grid of service tunnels that are easily accessible with some simple, clever tactics. After reading the floor plans I figured out where most of the tunnels should be and then did what any good student should do; googled it.

Low and behold there is an fascinating website by a former student (found here; http://matt.wandel.ca/tunnels/tunnels.html ) that illustrates his exploration of said tunnels!

Apparently, there is a massive "grid" that supplies the residences and tunnels that stem from that to just about any building on campus. There is even a tunnel that gets to Needles Hall -- the administrative building that holds student accounts and marks!

This all makes sense seeing as how Waterloo is heated by a central plant that shunts steam (and other things I'd imagine) to the basements.

So being the freezing cold and daring student I am -- I was tempted to try and decipher the mystery and get in to the tunnel system. Unfortunately, the system is locked down with welded hatches and un-pickable super security deadbolts(one of which is on my ex-roomate's door.) Going down there would be incredibly risky but I can't help wonder about the satisfaction of completing such a legendary feat.

The idea of a mysterious series of catacombs fascinates me. It also frustrates me -- but in a positive way. It's like considering life beyond earth or a secret society ruling the world. I can only imagine the properties of this fairy tale place -- which (due to it's oppression by the university) rubs off as dark, secretive, and powerful.

An estimate map of the tunnels can be found here

Lookee What I Got!

2010-01-07T20:24:00.005-05:00

Those are skis my friends! And twin tip skis at that!

Now if you're old (like my dad) then you probably have no idea what twin tip skis are. Well, I'd say about a decade ago people realized how retarded snowboarding actually is and decided to start skiing again. Those people continued to launch themselves off of snowy cliffs and grind on railing planted on the side of a hill but to a small problem. Their 1200 dollar racing skis really aren't meant for such abuse.

With that came twin tippers. Beefy, wide based skis that rise at both ends to allow easier jump tracking and most of all, switch skiing (going backwards.)

I failed at extreme sports. I could never work up the courage to actually execute a trick on a mountain bike or skateboard. Thus, I'm not expecting to go and huck like crazy on the first day. I'm a casual skier. I like cruising through the glades and meandering down the narrow twisty kind of ski runs. The reason I got twin tips was a) They are used, cheap, and my size, b) They were available, b) They are very durable c) They are versatile on the slopes from powder to hard pack. But by all means, if I get a helmet I might try a rail or two :)

This weekend the gang is heading out to chicopee to take some caribbean people snowboarding for the first time. In that case -- expect some hilarious photos!

So this is what happened in my sociology exam...

2009-12-18T13:40:00.001-05:00

Most epic move ever!

error- final exams

2009-12-07T10:14:00.004-05:00

This is ridiculous; http://toronto.ctv.ca/servlet/an/local/CTVNews/20091203/lego_gun_091203/20091203?hub=Toronto

I don't know who to be concerned with -- sad lego man, the neighbours, or the overwhelming response by the police.

We lived in a messed up world when an innocent hard working man is no longer aloud to bring a gun to the office.... Right?

Anyways, I'm back in the hammer this week to study for finals. Just 1.5 weeks and I'm done till January!

It's snowing...

I'm going to go ice skating today...

Hell yeah I'm living the dream...

-ev

Hair!

2009-11-30T13:02:00.003-05:00

I did it!
I said two weeks ago that I felt like getting rid of all my hair -- low and behold, I held true to that and buzzed most of it off.
I go through phases of hairstyles every couple of years. I found my high school student IDs the other day and spent five minutes laughing at my skater kid locks and my poofy adolescent nonsense. Lately I have been doing the simple push over -- but it feels a little preppy and unnecessary. What's the point in having hair up there anyways when modern technology gives us hats? Hair just gets in the way, it requires constant maintenance and never looks good. I get a major cowlick every now and then that just embarrasses the hell out of me.
So...
Off with it!

And there it is, my buzzcut. And it's nostalgic! I used get that when I was 4 feet tall -- you know, to avoid lice and all. Damned public school!

And I'm sure you're wondering...

What the hell is a Socker Bopper? I always knew them as Sockem Boppers too. Apparently the name has changed, and so has the price! Two dollars at Walmart! We couldn't pass that up -- bought many!

And just a quick update...

I have one more week of classes of my first ever university semester! Then a week and a half to study for finals. Ahh, it's the life up here!

How To Fix An iPod

2009-11-20T12:27:00.005-05:00

The iPod keep getting stronger and more durable with each new model. I remember when the 3rd, 4th, and 5th gen. iPods would break quite regularly due to wiggly parts and erm... hard drives.
These days, unibody construction and the fact that the batteries are bigger than the logic board contribute to a rigid and sturdy iPod.
Unfortunately, I don't have one of those. In fact, I have a 5th generation iPod Video that I bought way back in high school. It was my second ever mp3 player. I had a raddy 526mb sony atrac thing that was sufficient -- but all the cool kids had iPods.
I was so excited to get this thing. My excitement was crushed when I received the thing and well, you guessed it -- broken.
So I sent it back and apple promptly gave me a new one which I've had for four years now.
I love this thing. Thirty gigabytes, awesome battery life, sexy design, and nowadays it instills a nostalgic sense compared to the new iPods.
So I was mortified one day when it fell subject to a falling ink plot. I was rearranging books on my shelf when I knocked over some Quink that landed on the LCD and shattered it. I felt empty, lost -- seriously! I was really attached to this thing.
Thinking it was over I began browsing for a new iPod -- only to realize that my student budget has no room for one.
So I went to www.ifixit.com which is a website offering instructions and parts to repair electronics.
For only $24 I bought a brand new LCD for my iPod.
It came within 2 weeks and I was ready to install it. Hands shaking I carefully placed it in its frame and reset the precious ribbon cables. I snapped the iPod back together and prayed that it would still work.
After a minute of agony...
YES! It turned on and synced successfully with a beautifully bright display! I'm now back to using this iPod regularly -- and treating it with even more appreciation after resuscitating it from a traumatic coma.
Back to using it regularly? Yeah. I have more than one iPod. An iPod Touch and a Shuffle. Why not use the Touch you ask? Well...I don't think its that great for music. It is more of an app driven iPod -- which is exactly why I bought it -- Flight Sim in my pocket! And the Shuffle? Well it found its exact purpose -- an emergency backup iPod. I'm not one of those people who can't go anywhere without their music. I just think that time passes much faster with music (especially on the way to class.) Oh yeah, and shuffles are great for running!

Anyways, I hoped you enjoyed the story of my iPod revival.
It meant a lot to me, hopefully its inspired someone to rescue their electronic instead of blowing money on a new one.
:D

Mansfield's Gun - A failure.

2009-11-12T15:12:00.002-05:00

Here's what I think about Mansfield's use of Chekhov's Gun in The Garden Party.
I wrote this for my literature course and thought it was entertaining enough to post online.
I really hope they don't do a plagiarism search and find this bad boy!

What I would have really liked to say, but didn't because it defeats the purpose of the assignment; She probably didn't even consider using Chekhov's technique because she clearly butchered it. However, if she did think about it; how dare she abuse such an amazing mechanism.

Here goes...

Anton Pavlovich Chekhov — The most prolific short story author ever — developed the brilliant rule of thumb to cut the crap and illuminate portentous images and symbols. Having read the better part of Chekhov’s entire anthology — I’m rather keen on his “Gun” for it is prevalent in such plays as A Marriage Proposal and Uncle Vanya. (He wrote way more than just four.) Furthermore, Chekhov’s Gun is frequent in The Lady With The Little Dog. (Hint: It’s not the dog.)
Chekhov’s Gun is easy to spot if you are reading with tuned senses. I was once told to read a story with my antennas up. Those wise words motivate the exact technique required to spot Gun motifs in The Garden Party. For example, have you ever watched the beginning of a movie where the camera pans around to specific articles that become important later on? The director is utilizing Chekhov’s policy that, “One must not put a loaded rifle on the stage if no one is thinking of firing it.” A poor example of this can be observed at the beginning of the film version of Steven King’s Hearts In Atlantis — don’t pay attention to that part, it’s useless.
And I digress.
The important part to remember is that while reading Mansfield’s The Garden Party we must systematically scan for peculiar descriptions or great detail of otherwise unimportant items. While I read this fantastic short story I was struck by a fervent description of the freckled worker. His eyes that were “such a dark blue!” and his sweet disposition altered Laura's initial opinions on the insignificant lower class. Reading this story so carefully, and having experienced Chekhov’s Gun before, I swept up this knowledge of the worker because I was sure it would become important later.
While I am still confident the freckled worker is the Gun, I think Mansfield misfired it. Personally, I think she made a critical mistake by choosing an equivocal lower class person as the dead man. While it is certainly a barbarous thought, I would rather the freckled worker killed. I think that because Laura had obtained a familiarization with the lower class through the freckled worker — the ending revealing him as the one who died would BANG, invoke serious emotional convictions towards the lower class. The ambiguous man just did not do it for me. I was frustrated that Mansfield could have used the freckled man for it was lined up so perfectly. She even went as far as to describe the eyes again, “his eyes were closed; they were blind under his closed eyelids.” By just adding the word blue to that sentence, Mansfield’s bullet would have been straight and true.
So yes, Mansfield does utilize Chekhov’s Gun. And yes, the Gun is a lower class worker that fires. However, Mansfield’s execution does not do all that it can for the reader. Just like in Hearts Of Atlantis it appears that Mansfield picked up a gun that she had never fired before and hit me in the leg, rather than the heart. While I will still likely bleed to death over realizing what she is trying to achieve, it is hardly as sudden an effective as a fatal blow.

Halloween Weekend

2009-11-02T14:10:00.003-05:00

Hey Kids,

Been a few days, not bad eh?

A quick note to get things started; No, my use of english has not degraded. I swear more often in my posts simply because university has transformed me into a surly, aggressive person. Also, reading student publications from Waterloo and other universities helped me realize, when you swear, people really fucking listen to you.
Try it some time.

Let's see, the back problems -- they are cured! It took a few days of painkillers and T.L.C. but I am finally alleviated from that terrible burden. I can now do kartwheels, crabwalks, and "the robot." (For a private viewing, please email.)

To celebrate, I happily marched on to something that would subsequently make my back feel like shit again. Megabus! It was mega alright; a two story bus-o-the-future with wifi, 12v power, and panoramic windows! So the big thing with Megabus trips in between Toronto and Montreal is that you can get fares starting at only $1. Cough, bullshit. They are out there, but you'd have to take a bus on a tuesday at 3:00am and wear a funny hat. Okay, so the hat thing is a lie -- in all seriousness, despite the poor abundance of uno dollar fares -- Megabus is still the cheapest out there at around $55. You get this price by subjecting yourself to an eight hour ride stopping in Scarborough, Whitby, Kingston, Cornwall, the West Island, the list goes on. However, the bus is damn comfortable, and the view up top is great.
I got to Montreal and we climbed all the way up Mont Royal, what a sweet view!
The next day, we toured old Montreal, the waterfront (saw a huge boat) and got some killer poutine before walking in a rainstorm and checking out the hilarious sites and sounds on Saint-Laurent.
Bus ride home? I told myself I'd study. I slept, and it was magical.
Here are some scarce, and very random photos from Montreal.

Moving right along, in the 20 some hours I've been back in the Woo I've noticed little change to this place. For example, IT'S STILL RAINING. Getting sick of this rain, either my choice of attire (Sperry Topsiders) is mediating the weather (whenever I wear them, it pours) or mother nature and I need to have a really serious conversation.
We're out of food, seriously. I'm going grocery shopping at t-minus 20 minutes. But seriously, my fridge looks like fucking Siberia -- empty, white, and sad.

Bad news? The other day tragedy struck my desktop; As I was moving a book on my shelf (the stubborn thing shifted out of place) I knocked over an ink plot. The plot fell off the shelf and landed 2 feet down on the screen of my beloved iPod. This is my very very first iPod. Unlike many people, I've taken care of my iPod for the last four years of possession. It was still in immaculate condition when my ink plot crushed the L.C.D. screen inside. It shattered along with my heart. I could only feel a numbing sadness more so because its life had ended in such a pathetic manner.
Then I realized that I can fix it.
Stay tuned, because I've ordered a brand new screen for ol' Stockholm ( I nickname my electronics after Scandinavian cities) It should be coming in the mail this week and I'll be performing reconstructive surgery. Stockholm shall play music once again! Hopefully this doesn't happen again and my iPod will live long as a progressively obsolete p.m.p.

THEY FIXED MY LOCK!
At some point the tumbler lock on my door came apart making it impossible to lock from the inside. After telling my don, somebody mysteriously came while I was away and repaired it! I have no idea how the found the parts for I think they were in a drawer somewhere. So strange having the feeling that somebody was in my room while I was away! :S

Now if only my roommate would do his damn chores.

What's with midterms anyways?
I've got seven of them. I take 5 classes. Can somebody explain that to me? I mean, technically I can say I'm done midterms as this week I only have midterm styled "term tests" which require very little studying. But hey, come on.
(Side note, my back just started hurting again)
Last week I wrote Psychology which I had been studying for an entire week. Greatest feeling after a test; knowing you did well because you forced yourself to know the material and it paid off. This was brought to me by the entertaining professor, and the fact that Psychology is actually entertaining and worth while in life -- rather than that Sociology or Anthropology bullshit. I can receive my marks in a few days, I can't wait.
Tomorrow is another Sociology term test (speak of the devil) and we're going to pull the same 9:00pm coffee fuelled shenanigans that we did last time that helped me get a 92%. It's an online test :D

Does anybody know the song Roxanne by The Police? I'd look in to it.

Can I tell the future? Let's see...
I really really really want to go to the Steve Aoki concert in Woo next month. Pending whether it's cheap/all ages. I'm poor, and not of age. I hear this guy can seriously rock a crowd -- I just need to find somebody who doesn't hate pounding electro.
Who is Steve Aoki? This Guy --> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MvP6yeVmAp0

Is short hair a good idea? Like really short hair? Cause I've been thinking about it. I'm talking David Beckham short. Might I say buzz cut? This isn't for aesthetics; I really just want to know what short hair is like, and I kind of want to carve some crazy design in my head in the process. We'll see in December when my locks get longer.

Fish is a great cheap eat. Did you know you can buy ocean perch filets at the super market at like, $1.20 a filet? One filet fried in batter is good enough for lunch or a light dinner if you have it with a side.
This is the most important food revolution to happen to me since microwave bagel bites! I'm stalking up!

Man, I have to get to sleep...

Hello again, world

2009-10-28T13:39:00.003-04:00

Been a while.

Remember when I used to talk about being busy in high school? You know, all those exams and projects due? Cake man, it was cake.
Now I'm in arts, which means I have homework, but I can get away with sitting around eating kraft dinner and watching BBC world news every now and then. Believe me though, that time is well earned, and well worth it.
Engineers? Mathies? Scientists? They're fucked.

So at the moment my back has me incarcerated in my dorm. My back? What? Yeah I'm the only eighteen year old you know who has had a recurring back problem for the last three days. I went to anthropology this morning -- but those plastic chairs at Biology 1 did nothing but worsen the state of my latissimus dorsi (google it). Luckily I brought extra strength muscle relaxants (from the time I had the terrible neck cramp) with me. Unfortunately, they seem to get me high rather than improve my back -- which is probably the reason I decided to blog ...wooowee oooh shiny things.

In other news; The dorm itself is... well, bitchin'. What can I say, we have a 900W sound system, an LCD TV, numerous-humurours posters, and space to dance/ride your bike. Dancing is optional. My own personal room has developed a rather pleasant aroma of rotting apples... which mysteriously ended up in my filing cabinet. It's clean, yes immaculate, no surprise for people who have lived with me in the past! Only problems, stolen change, little milk, mysteriously wet sink, curry, and terrible singing. If you've spoken to me in the last month, you understand.

Class! Hey! I'm skipping class right now! I know, I know, that's like 60 bucks from my tuition. Honestly though, I go to class and discuss things that I read in grade 10 with a bunch of catholics who keep associating bizarre elements with god..and the lord's prayer. What the fuck is the lord's prayer? I can do the reading here at home, in my immobile state of affairs, jacked up on pharmaceuticals...avoiding H1N1, just fine. Plus the rest of the course is an essay, which is already half done, and an exam...on the texts...which I'm reading. Ok, nuff said, I'll finish explaining my self (Sorry mom and dad) But I swear I am dragging myself to Sociology tonight, it's guest speaker night!

Other classes; Went to Anthropology (as I said) this morning and we talked about Homo erectus -- the, erm... hominid? Things can get a bit racy over at ANTH101. That class is getting tiresome -- with all the monkeys and whatnot, but at least my old retard high school teachers aren't the ones explaining it to me; "I went to McGill, I know what I'm talking about." -- Shut up douche-bag. Psychology? I LOVE psychology! In fact, I wrote the exam last night and it was one of those "never-look-back-because-you-know-you-got-the-question-right" exams -- which happened to be worth 38% of my final mark! Go me!
Introduction to Rhetorical Theory; let's just say that we found critical mistakes of the text book that the course is based on. Nuff said.

People constantly ask me what I do for food around here. The answer? Not much. I've lost eight pounds since September-- I'm starving.
When I'm not starving, I eat awesome experimental chicken and rice dishes, loads of pasta, and english muffins galore!
On mornings when I have a 10:30 class I indulge in the old age home breakfast; instant oatmeal, an apple, a multi-vitamin, and some peppermint tea. Lunch? What's lunch? Dinner is a big production and usually consists of heavily seasoned chicken with spicy rice, or pasta with a crazy cheese-marinara-sausage sauce. Each meal is accompanied with a huge amount of swearing and threatening to throw sharp objects.

What's to do in Waterloo? Nothing, go home.

Or you can come to my place and watch cheezy 1970's zombie movies and study for finals.

To keep yourself entertained while I think about more stuff to post -- have a gander at these.
http://omguw.blogspot.com/
http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=2204471283
http://imprint.uwaterloo.ca/2009/oct/16/opinion/dear-sick-people/ <-- Read my comment below that article.
http://theboar.ca/

Anyways, I'm going to try and take a nap.

This is what climbing a tree looks like...

2009-09-17T16:44:00.000-04:00

While in Guelph, I climbed a tree, and Daniel recorded it. It was fun...
Enjoy

Week of September 14th update.

2009-09-15T15:26:00.002-04:00

Here's a rundown for those interested. Frosh week was crazy! Seriously! I can't tell you how many people told me that Waterloo frosh was going to be lame and not much fun. They were totally wrong, and in some cases-- backwards. At first, you look out at all the singing and dancing and think "I just paid 5000 dollars to dance in this heat for 5 hours?" "No thanks" Well suck it up buttercup because after you actually muster up the balls to talk to somebody -- the nonsense evolves into the most important event of the day! I'll admit, I was skeptical. Hell ya, I was not too crazy about learning how to dance like an "arts student" but in all honestly, once I got over the fact that everyone else was there for the same reason I was -- things got a whole lot easier.
For the first time in my life, I apprehended the saying "If you can't beat em, join em." No first year is too good for frosh. In fact, we're just a bunch of peons -- and if you're going to stay an anti-social peon for the rest of your life (seriously) you should get your ass on the dance floor.
Now it wasn't all chanting, dancing, and icebreakers. There were plenty of insightful seminars... and an amazing SCAVENGER HUNT!
May I just say that the AP Dragons (my faithful team) was the top scorer in the week long scavenger hunt. And it's no ordinary scavenger hunt. We collected more than inanimate objects, we corralled people and even accomplished death defying tasks!
One item I collected that I happen to be most proud of was a lovely librarian from the Diana Porter Library. To get her to come outside, I had to impress her. What better way to impress a librarian than with a little bit of literary knowledge! I basically re-explained the whole meaning behind the ducks in The Catcher In The Rye to my standards, which she seemed in accordance with! After getting her outside, we found out that she used to be the keeper of the Faculty Of Arts mascot, Porcellino BONUS POINTS!
Anyways, enough with that. Aside from the Arts frosh there was plenty of organized events like concerts, dances, sports, and lectures. I did a variety of each, but nothing really too notable.
Great football game! Even though we lost, we got all decked out in black and gold and had a good time. Check it out in the slideshow below!
Saturday was the big toga party. Actually, the world's largest outdoor toga party. So we made a trip out to Conestoga mall and bought value sheets, twine, and foliage. Most bitchin' togas you've ever seen.
Sunday, we ventured to Guelph so that I could visit Daniel and check out the Metric show on campus. That was great fun! Pretty good show, and Guelph has a really nice campus, aside from the miniscule dorms.
Almost missed my bus home, caught it with seconds to spare. Wow it was close.
I came back and found out that I should really tell my roomates and friends that I'm leaving, so they don't call the cops.

Classes have started!

And you know what, they are surprisingly brief -- much more brief than I had perceived. In fact, they are shorter than high school classes. Well, except my Psychology class tonight, at a whopping three hours.
So far here's what I've got;

Anthropology 101: HUGE auditorium in the biology building. Concise, but oddly timid professor who appears to be approachable. He releases the lecture for download before each class, for people like me, who forger their glasses. (Stupid!) The textbook is minimal and has a lot of biology that I already know, and at quite an advanced level! Woo!

20th Century Literatures in English 105A: At the church schools. St. Jerome's University to be exact. Problem 1: It's a freaking classroom, high school throwback. Problem 2: You need to pack snacks just to get there Problem 3: The prof insists on being addressed by her first name. I'm going to find it hard to do that, seeing as how she has a BSc, BA, and an MA. Other than that, I love 20th century lit! I'm reading Heart Of Darkness by Conrad right now. I'm getting there on getting it per say. It is written in a method I've never seen, but tolerable nonetheless.

Introduction To Rhetorical Studies 101B: Problem 1: I had to print my own syllabus. Problem 2: It's in another freaking classroom. Problem 3: It's in the far corner of an engineering building *shudders.* However, the reading seems limited, and the prof actually has a PhD, thank goodness. That first class was only 30 minutes. Took more time to get there, being lost and all.

A note on being lost;
The saying revolving around me right now goes as such "Evan thinks the shortest path between two points is a circle." That isn't so much anymore as I've learned the shortcuts. Originally I walked the ring road for everything -- turning into the campus when I thought I was at the right place. This method took forever and I took a lot of heat for it. All done that now. I can circumnavigate this place like a pro! Well, except the engineering buildings.

Anyways, I'm off for some free hamburgers, book shopping, and note taking. More updates to follow!

Here's the slideshow!

The Coolest UW Website EVER

2009-09-15T11:50:00.002-04:00

So in my week here at the University Of Waterloo I've made a few trips to the school's book store -- or as they call it a "bookstore."
Shopping for university books is nothing to write home about. Well, except in this case. It's totally worth it, believe me.
University books are incredibly expensive thanks to royalties and mere heft. They are unnecessarily large and cumbersome -- sagging shelves and weighing down backs. University books are usually only referenced six times -- but you're expected to know it cover to cover for the exam -- some teachers don't even bother cracking theirs. Shopping for the wretched things is worse than buying tube socks on boxing day. There is a line that spills out the doors and across the south campus -- it moves fast, but it's awfully intimidating. Once inside, don't bother trying to find the book yourself. Especially if it's a novel. For some reason, they are pilled on their side, pages out. Impossible to pick out without reading the SKU tags. You might need to bring a team of friends both to help pick out, and carry your books. If you're going solo, you've got to track down the swift moving anti-social employee who will get your books for you (against his/her will of course.) Then you've got to pay. That's another zig-zagging line sprinkled with other school essentials that you feel so inclined to buy, just as a souvenir of the experience. At this point, your humerus and scapula start to detach (thank you Physical Anthropology and Archaeology Third Edition) at least it feels that way. Finally you get to the high speed checkout and you see your funds deplete as that "Little Brown Book" just cost you 56 dollars. Lastly but not leastly you're thrown back into the real world with only a vague memory -- a blur if you will of what life was like before you lost $430 dollars in the mysterious land of books.

All of this leads to one thing. One thing only. Remember the title? "The Coolest UW Website EVER" Yeah, well I found this website particularly important to blog about because it can be a lifesaver, seriously.
Check out http://www.bookstore.uwaterloo.ca/linelook.html and see for yourself what I've just described.
Oh, and if it gets any less compacted, give me a shout, I still need to pick up two more $120 books.

-ev

University so far...

2009-09-12T00:01:00.001-04:00

I have NO TIME to write anything.
Instead, videos.

Arts is the best.

I am in the '0'

Trebuchet, second try

2009-09-03T16:01:00.001-04:00

Looks like I can still edit after-all. I actually used iMovie on this one, on my new iMac...which is sweet.

This video is hilarious, enjoy!

It's done!

2009-08-31T20:43:00.004-04:00

I finally got around to finishing the trebuchet. All it needed was a sling and some cleverly tied rope. I took it out tonight and gave it a test run. I just flung some rotten potatoes. It needs some tweaking to get to optimal range -- so eventually it's going to be flinging stuff really far! Hopefully coconuts!
Here's the video! (and some photos!)

This is the video...

And this is the photo set...

The Wilderness

2009-08-29T11:19:00.002-04:00

My staggering ability to procrastinate follows me through the summer. Yes, shit has happened. No, I haven't blogged it. Instead, here are some flickr albums with brief descriptions so I can get it over with and go back to procrastinating. Ooo shiny things!!

Frist up; the cottage.
Lot's of fun this year, did the usual -- mostly illustrated in the photos.

Next; My ride in a Beech-18. My membership privileges to the CWHM entail that I get to ride in either a Douglas DC3 or a Beech-18. I chose the Beech because it is smaller, more nimble, and classier. The ride went out from CYHM and over cayuga way through some neat weather. Lasted about 30mins. Definitely doing it again next year.

Finally; Dan and I went camping at Valen's conservation area a few days ago. We ate everything cooked over the fire, and scavenged fire wood. Lots of fun spending time honing my harmonica skills, hiking, swimming. Again, doing it next year.

More posts to come in this final week in Hamilton!
Stay tuned!

Soda Pop!

2009-08-24T17:48:00.001-04:00

Here in Canada we call it Pop.
I truly understand this gentleman's cause -- and I really want to visit his store.
Thought I'd share this one!

Lockheed U-2 Spy Plane

2009-08-16T15:27:00.002-04:00

I've been watching this video over and over -- it just blows my mind.
I'd give all the money I have to fly in one of these. That's quite a lucky host...